roman_pavluchenko Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 It's been 30 days since my girlfriend dumped me, she told me she didn't feel the same anymore, 2 month relationship, we're 18 and i was her first boyfriend. Exept i've been getting mixed signals about the situation from her friend, last one occured last week. Now for the first 20 days i talked to her every now and then when i saw her with our group of friends, otherwise not at all and the last 10 days have been total no contact. She hasn't tried to contact me yet. I was told by her best friend that she dumped me for being too clingy and that she still wants me there, but only as a "mate" (not as in a sexual partner, just a friend) but continues to say she is still hurt from the break-up. I feel as if clingy wasn't the only reason she dumped me, i did some things a week before which pissed her off, she said it pissed her off but i think it upset her, i tried apologizing with flowers but she dumped me a week later. Her friend told me a day after the break-up that she caught up with her. And my now ex-girlfriend seemed lost/hurt/gulity and was saying she didn't know if she had done the right thing. So i called her up and asked her if i could "talk" and she said yes, so i drove to her house and talked to her outside. It was pretty sad when i look back at it now, i pretty much begged her to take me back, i was fighting back tears and reminded her of all the good times we had and the few bad times weren't much, i told her i loved her and that i would always be there for her etc etc, i did it out of desperation, thought it was right at the time, she told me it couldn't happen. This won't have an impact on the letter will it, i mean i've had time to think about what i did wrong and i can express it calm and collectively, i had no idea why i did it those few days after and was just apologizing for anything i could think of. I've had time since then to reflect on the relationship and i know its unlikely she'll come back to me through using NC. I deleted her off facebook and have been giving her the cold shoulder, so i thought i would hand her this letter so she knows i know where i went wrong and that im willing to talk. Going total NC after, if she contacts me great, if she doesn't then i know its over for sure and that i have done my best and can move on. Anyways this is the final letter ; Dear - It has been like a month now and i don't know about you but i kind of miss you. I've recognized my faults - texting/messaging/calling frantically when i thought something was wrong, over-reacting to situations, being too co-dependant and i've managed to change these things. I know i may have been a bit clingy - wanting to spend lots of time with you when we were together and i can't change that, but i understand that i may have gone a bit over the top. If you still have any feelings, you know how to contact me and that i'm willing to just talk or working something out, otherwise i thank you for all the good times we had. Cheers, From - p.s. It's nearly march <>, congrats in advance and i hope the uni life is treating you well. ^ this bit was just a bit extra, an important date she always reminded me about when we were a couple. What do you think?
Lemontang Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Oh dude I just want to bitch slap you right now and say "WTF?" Ok so she broke it off with you and she feels hurt about it? Hmm right then why break up in the 1st place? Sorry dude but it's an excuse to alleviate a sense of guilt whilst throwing bread crumbs in the process. She also found you too clingy so what do you do? You chase her...um did someone say clingy? I'm not going to berate you too much. Your young and you'll make a lot of mistakes along the way when it comes to relationships. But do not send her that letter. At the very least you guys were a couple for what 2 months? Some people say it takes the amount of time a relationship goes for just to get over it, not all but some. So go full NC for 2 months starting now (don't even respond to her should she contact you) and then reevaluate if it's worth pursuing. But since she broke it off with you, in reality it should be her wanting you back not the other way around. So in short learn to be the one who can move on. But if you want to destroy any chance you have or at the very least get friend zoned then please send that letter and I'll be reading your story in the coping forums I'm sure in the coming weeks.
DustySaltus Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 By sending her a letter you are letting her known that you are ok with they way she treated you. If your boss fired you, would you write them a letter telling them how much you miss them and cared about them? Keep the letter to yourself and check out the links in my signature.
gator12 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 You are also letting her know that you are there waiting for her to come back, like a nice little backup. Respect yourself, don't send it, stay in NC. the fact is real reconcilation takes MONTHS with an S, to be successful. Your thirty days haven't changed enough yet.
Recommended Posts