So you want to know about life when you're no longer an OW?

[Silly_Girl]

And what does that have to do with the actual thought I was discussing? Can we dismiss with the semantics and get to the actual conversation about the issue?

 

Calm down chuck!

 

I thought she was quoting someone else. I thought the quote marks were inferring the opposite of your post. That others felt that way, but CL didn't (necessarily). It's relevant but not important.

[donnamaybe]

Calm down chuck!

Hey! Was that you peeping in my bedroom window while I was in drag?!

[Silly_Girl]

Hey! Was that you peeping in my bedroom window while I was in drag?!

 

Feel I should know what you're referring to... So I'll just say Yes!!

<nods emphatically>

[donnamaybe]

Feel I should know what you're referring to... So I'll just say Yes!!

<nods emphatically>

You called me by my alter-ego name - Chuck.

[Silly_Girl]

You called me by my alter-ego name - Chuck.

 

Sorry!!!! It's just a generic term in Blighty, like mate or pal or whatever. Hence I was confused. You'd make a fab lumberjack?!?

[complicatedlife]

Silly is right. CL is talking about the previous marriage not her post-A R with him.

This is correct; I didn't mean the post affair relationship.

[complicatedlife]

Interesting. Can you expand on this a bit please? On being unsettled and not invested in only one relationship? I'd like to know more.

 

My ex-H and I were married for.... oh I think about 4/5 years POST-separation for legal and property reasons. Never seemed to bother me, or my husband. Annoyed the hell out of my SO.

 

It doesn't bother me (yet) that my boyfriend is married given that they are separated and those that know them know they arne't together and never will be. But it will start to irk me I'm sure. We've got his brother's wedding later this year and I know there's going to be lots of prods about us 'moving forward' and I'm sure I won't like being reminded that he's married to someone else.

 

There has been research that shows that many men find the divorce process difficult to handle, particularly if the negotiating process isn't going well, i.e: physical custody of children, child support and/or alimony, selling the marital home, splitting assets, etc. They feel unsettled and somewhat chaotic and not in control; of course, not all men feel this way, but many do.

[Silly_Girl]

There has been research that shows that many men find the divorce process difficult to handle, particularly if the negotiating process isn't going well, i.e: physical custody of children, child support and/or alimony, selling the marital home, splitting assets, etc. They feel unsettled and somewhat chaotic and not in control; of course, not all men feel this way, but many do.

 

Okay, but not so much for women. I wonder if this is a reflection of the 'do women/men leave?' type of discussion.

 

Women (MASSIVE GENERALISATION ALERT!!) often know things aren't right, they move on emotionally, often before they've moved geographically even. And if things are 'right' in their heart, they can deal with a world of crap.

 

Men, it seems, value the status quo far more, and place more importance on practicalities and material/outside issues.

 

So, just thinking aloud, they might be unsettled through the process more than a woman.

 

Thanks CL.