skylines1987 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Hi All basically i broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years over a week ago. Its my birthday tomorrow and she sent me a moon pig card... some background - we basically have had a long distance relationship for most of 3 years both being at different uni's now im in a job back home (where she is also orginally from). She finishes uni in june and is due to return home. So anyway we have been rough for a couple of months and in feb she initiated a month apart only contacting one another in evenings, so i left it up to her to do and it was all going well, getting random miss u/love u texts in the day. then all of a sudden on monday she decides she doesnt want me to go visit her at the weekend (eventhough i bought tickets) and that its over, because i wont change, and it wont go back to how it was before. basically i dont get on with my olds well and she hates it and thinks ill treat her like it, but all ive ever done is spoil her and treat her well, recently i have taking the mick out of her a bit and generally not been great but cause of the distance. back to the final phone call, i did the usual beg stuff, said ill change then said ok well i dont want to talk if were apart but let me know if u want me back. (with my ex ex i was with her 3 years and i did same thing cut all contact and she never came crawling back! although 9 months later i was with my ex) and my ex knew about what i do when i break up and she hated the fact i was going to apply this to her, but cause i really want my ex back i said in the final phone call look this time if u want me back, let m know. bad idea? so back to the card, got the card today, should i say thank u tomorrow or anything else? some people say to ask how its going? etc but its been barely 2 weeks. i REALLY want her back and have read up about the whole no contact thing and tell them that break was a good idea, but ive told her not to contact me ... unless she wants me. couple of things... shes stubborn, she never gets back with ex's but we were so close!! and we want the same things i think her uni friends (who are now all single) influenced her and yeh we were bad but things would be better in the summer when shes home. i know her olds also thought breaking was good idea, i have since seen them and said bye etc being the better person. what do i do? im 23 and shes 21 if it helps thanks for taking the time to read it.
willpower Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Ill just tell you my experience on this, othersay disagree. My ex originally broke with me in July last year. She told me why (wanted more involvement from me) and told me if I could commit to her I could have her. I could not promise this at the time and told her so. To cut a long story short I had a window of opportunity all the way to September where she would have taken me back (this culminated in us spending the night in the same bed, she has since told me she would gave had me back at any point up to that night) at which point the old me came back and I told her I still could not commit. She then met someone else and list interest completely in me. Biggest mistake of my life so far. So to my advice, the card is not really important - more of a nice gesture which shows your still on good terms. I think your still in the zine where talking about things is your best bet. But you must realise it broke down for a reason, and the real understanding of that reason will take a lot of time and effort to get to and resolve. It will require a change, don't promise anything unrealistic but offer to work towards the solution. That's what I would do, and listen to her - she won't give you unlimited time or warnings, sooner or later she'll give up and move on. If she's worth it then work hard on fixing things. If she doesn't want to talk I would go strict NC. Good luck!
Chi townD Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 First off, Happy Birthday! Second, I wouldn't respond. She knows how you are and she's testing the waters to see if this applies to her; if you'll go NC. But, then again, she know that you won't contact Ex's. Well, with this knowledge, she still ended it. So, I think you have you answer. As much as it sucks and what you don't want to hear, it is what it is. Her loss.... Oh, a Brit! What the hell does it mean to " rip the Mickey out of someone?"
depplover_1980 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Hi Chi, I'm also a Brit. It means to either mock someones features, ie a funny walk, or mimic their accent/voice if it's unusual; or to tease someone about a mistake they made etc - it covers a wide thing! Us Brits love taking the mick out of each other!! On the subject I say go in for the clash of the wills, do not contact and believe strongly that your resolve and determination is stronger. You need her coming to you. I tell you what I read about some right bitchy women on Loveshack!!
Author skylines1987 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Hi Thanks for the responses I think your right there is something to be said for her going ahead with breakup knowing I would want no contact. The card I would assume is her just being nice no ulterior intentions, she did it for her ex when I was with her! Still not sure about saying thanks for card we left it on good terms and I'm a nice guy so feeling I should but she prob expects me to msg her This is a nightmare!
Shatter3d Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Well if it were me, I would reply out of common courtesy, ex or no ex. If someone has taken the time to send me a card, then I would always say thankyou no matter who it were. Maybe that's our problem, that were too nice and need to toughen up a bit. In the end, it's your decision. If you do msg her you might regret and if you don't you will still probably regret it.
Author skylines1987 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 An update text I received this morning HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have a lovely day and enjoy saturday lots of love fi x Reply to card/ text?
Nita10 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Firstly, Happy birthday.. it's actually my birthday too I'm kind of dreading receiving a birthday text from my ex.. i think i'm also dreading not receiving one lol I'd say send a short text just saying thank you and that you appreciate it.. nothing more.. after all it's only been 2 weeks!
Author skylines1987 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 ... And my sure how she found out im going out Saturday were not friends on facebook...
Author skylines1987 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 ... And my sure how she found out im going out Saturday were not friends on facebook...
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