EricaH329 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I am so incredibly nervous right now. No, nervous doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I haven't gone on a date, let alone with someone i've never actually met before, in a very very long time. Ahhhh!!! I'll post back how it went
Author EricaH329 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 I am sweating in places no one should sweat. This is gross. Maybe i'm just not cut out for this? :laugh:
Jannah Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Hi E A date, how exciting! Try not to be nervous, remember the episode from the Brady Bunch, when Marsha was really nervous about taking her drivers exam. Just picture your date as a half naked oompa loompa wearing black knee high socks with those little sock strap holders, white boxers and shirtless with a thick black hairy chest. Have fun on your date, hope you have a nice time!!
january2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Yay! I'm so excited for you. I know you will be fine. Just treat it as a toe-dipping exercise. \o/
Fondue Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Grats on your date! Hope it goes well! This topic raised an interesting question for me. If anyone can help me out and answer, I'd really appreciate it. I never did any sort of online dating or whatever, but I'm still incredibly curious. When people meet each other online and view the profiles and what not, after the first message, about how long does it take for the people to meet up? Like, is it a few days of messaging each other? Is it a few weeks? Months? What's the deal. How does this progress. I'm genuinely curious and want to know. What's the appropriate flow of things? What is your personal exploration with this? Thank you in advance.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Thanks guys for your support!! :bunny: Ok, now onto what happened First we went for a walk through downtown and talked a lot. Then we went to a cozy coffee shop and talked some more. Then we came back to my place and watched a couple of movies and I made him watch American Idol It was a bit awkward when we came back to my place, because my roommate was here and since I had just met him it was weird having her here. But they got along great and had some pretty long conversations (which made me feel a bit left out, but I think he was trying to get to know her too). After all was said and done though, we had a great time! We hung out together for 7 hours and kissed He asked me if we could see eachother again, and of course I said yes I'm excited to see where this could go. It's been a long time since i've really liked someone. OH, I almost forgot to mention something that made me feel a bit iffy, him and my roommate were talking about relationships (she asked him a question relating to issues going on in her life) and somehow it managed to get into how he used to be in a polyamorous relationship. I asked him if that's what he's looking for now, and he said it isn't, that it was just something he did while he was in college. Anyway, long story short, I really enjoyed myself and i'm glad I hung out with him Fondue - To answer your question, him and I e-mailed for a few days before we got eachothers numbers and texted for about a full week before we met.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Just got a text from him "I had a great time tonight. I made it home ok, hopefully it won't be too long till I see you again." I feel like a little girl
USCGAviator Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Don't forget to tell your room mate that it's your date not hers.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Don't forget to tell your room mate that it's your date not hers. For a minute I thought I was going to have to tell her that But she's very very weary about the guys I date and who I bring around, so I knew she was just 'testing him out' so to speak.
Cracker Jack Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Glad you had a great time, Erica! That was a very good read. Hope things continue to go well between you two.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Glad you had a great time, Erica! That was a very good read. Hope things continue to go well between you two. Thank you so much!! I hope things continue to go well also :bunny: I'll definitely keep you guys updated on how everything works out
january2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Erica, I'm so pleased it went well. Really happy to see you get some loving in your life.
Jannah Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Glad it went well! Shame on you though for making your date watch American Idol.
SmileFace Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Glad it went well! Shame on you though for making your date watch American Idol. Exactly that is just cruel Sending happy bunnies your way :bunny::bunny: All the best!
Author EricaH329 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Erica, I'm so pleased it went well. Really happy to see you get some loving in your life. Glad it went well! Sending happy bunnies your way :bunny::bunny: All the best! Thanks guys so much!! I haven't been this nervous about a person in a very very very long time. It's a little scary, but exciting none the less Shame on you though for making your date watch American Idol. Exactly that is just cruel Ok first of all, American Idol is amazing In all seriousness though, he stayed until 12:30 in the morning, and my roommate really wanted to watch it and if he was staying, then he had to watch it too. He told me he didn't like watching the show, but he was commenting on it throughout, so i'm thinking he may have a dirty little secret :laugh:
paleblue Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Hey Erica! good deal! It really is nerve racking meeting someone for the first time. So many questions. But glad things went smooth! Take it slowwwwwwww
mtber75 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Ok first of all, American Idol is amazing In all seriousness though, he stayed until 12:30 in the morning, and my roommate really wanted to watch it and if he was staying, then he had to watch it too. He told me he didn't like watching the show, but he was commenting on it throughout, so i'm thinking he may have a dirty little secret :laugh: No guy will admit that he likes American Idol:)
Star Gazer Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Threads like this make me giggle like a school girl! PLEASE keep us updated on how this progresses!!
Author EricaH329 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Posted March 5, 2011 Hey Erica! good deal! It really is nerve racking meeting someone for the first time. So many questions. But glad things went smooth! Take it slowwwwwwww Threads like this make me giggle like a school girl! PLEASE keep us updated on how this progresses!! Thanks guys!!! I'm definitely going to take it slow. Talking about that, he had mentioned something that had a sexual under tone to it. I told him that i'm not looking for just a hook up, and thought he should know that. He replied "I know" and that was it. Thought that was a bit odd, but i'm not going to look too much into it. We are planning on seeing eachother again on Tuesday. :bunny: No guy will admit that he likes American Idol:) I figured as much!
Author EricaH329 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 So maybe i'm over reacting, but i'm a bit peeved and considering throwing in the towel with this guy. Last night he came over and I made him dinner. After talking for a bit, he told me that he still sleeps with his ex girlfriend whenever she comes to visit. His ex girlfriend of 5 years. I didn't really say anything about that, i'm not sure if it was out of shock or I didn't fully understand what he had said (I did have a bit too much wine ). He stayed the night, and today I asked him when I could see him again. He said next Monday or Tuesday. I told him i'd like to see him more than once a week (twice a week would be perfect). He told me he can't because of his 'busy schedule'. I put that in quotes because this is what his 'busy schedule' consists of: Work from 9-5. Partying with friends. That's it. He's a nice guy, I like him a lot, and maybe I shouldn't be worried about this stuff so soon. But it just seems like it could end badly if I over look too much.
jerbear Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 So maybe i'm over reacting, but i'm a bit peeved and considering throwing in the towel with this guy. At least the guy told you his ex is still around. Last night he came over and I made him dinner. After talking for a bit, he told me that he still sleeps with his ex girlfriend whenever she comes to visit. His ex girlfriend of 5 years. I didn't really say anything about that, i'm not sure if it was out of shock or I didn't fully understand what he had said (I did have a bit too much wine ). I think you have some rosy glasses on and if he mentioned this early on and you didn't mention it, then you implicitly are ok with it. It is an FWB with drama. Right now you don't really have a say in tell him no. You can bring it up that the ex sleeping over is not your thing. Then see what he says or does. He stayed the night, and today I asked him when I could see him again. He said next Monday or Tuesday. I told him i'd like to see him more than once a week (twice a week would be perfect). He told me he can't because of his 'busy schedule'. I put that in quotes because this is what his 'busy schedule' consists of: Work from 9-5. Partying with friends. That's it.I say try for two but I see you in a world of hurt later on. Partying, ex in the picture as she pleases (who won't turn down sex?), you seem like a number, to much wine, etc... Good luck. He's a nice guy, I like him a lot, and maybe I shouldn't be worried about this stuff so soon. But it just seems like it could end badly if I over look too much. Partying with friends, ex sleeping over, and you want to see him twice a week and make him dinner. Sounds like he won you over with little effort.
tigressA Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Taking it slow, eh? Did you two have sex when he spent the night last night, on your second date? And you had him over at your place on your first date too. You SAY you're not looking for just a hook-up, but your actions tell something very different. I really don't have much hope for this situation turning into something more meaningful than what you've already got going on. Try to have your words and actions line up more with the next guy.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 At least the guy told you his ex is still around. I think you have some rosy glasses on and if he mentioned this early on and you didn't mention it, then you implicitly are ok with it. It is an FWB with drama. Right now you don't really have a say in tell him no. You can bring it up that the ex sleeping over is not your thing. Then see what he says or does. I say try for two but I see you in a world of hurt later on. Partying, ex in the picture as she pleases (who won't turn down sex?), you seem like a number, to much wine, etc... Good luck. Partying with friends, ex sleeping over, and you want to see him twice a week and make him dinner. Sounds like he won you over with little effort. When I mentioned that he still sleeps with his ex, I meant they still have sex when she comes to visit him. I'm not sure if she literally sleeps over that night or not. Aside from that though, you are right. I feel like maybe the time to mention something has passed. All of these things are frustrating, but I feel like I can't say anything because we've only been on 2 dates. It's not my place to try and re-arrange his whole life. I just want to feel important, and like he wants me. In other news, I just checked the dating site we are both on. He took his profile down, i'm not sure why, but it's not there anymore. I have a feeling I should probably stop dating him, but I don't want to rush anything and make a mistake.
Author EricaH329 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 Taking it slow, eh? Did you two have sex when he spent the night last night, on your second date? And you had him over at your place on your first date too. You SAY you're not looking for just a hook-up, but your actions tell something very different. I really don't have much hope for this situation turning into something more meaningful than what you've already got going on. Try to have your words and actions line up more with the next guy. You're absolutely right. I did want to take it slow with this guy. He even wanted to, also. But too much wine can really intensify sexual urges The second date, yes I did have him come over to make him dinner. The first date, we ended up back at my place, it wasn't planned but we didn't hook up (aside from kissing). I don't mind if a guy just wants to hook up. That's not what i'm looking for, and if that's the case, then I can take them out of my life. No problem. What I don't like is being stuck in limbo. He tells me he doesn't just want to hook up, but the fact that he can't seem to make more time for me other than one day a week is telling me something different. I don't want to waste my time.
tigressA Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 If you really don't want to hook up, like I said--make your actions as well as your words reflect that. Make sure you don't put yourself in situations early on which would make it easy to fall into bed, like not taking a guy back to your place/going to his place, drinking alcohol, etc. Your actions have made your words ("not looking for just a hook-up") pretty much irrelevant. As for this guy claiming to not have enough time to see you more than once a week...from what you've said about his schedule, unless there's a fairly significant distance between the two of you, I call BS. My BF and I consistently saw each other more than once a week after our first date (still do) and it's a 30-40 minute drive one-way. I don't think this guy's sufficiently interested. I think you know it, too. Time to throw in the towel.
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