AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 And it's not about equality. Things aren't equal between men and women because men and women are different. It makes me feel good to bake cookies for someone I like. It should make a man feel good to take a woman he likes out and pay for it. I don't, however, expect him to bake me cookies. Wait...you agree men don't owe women anything. Yet you say a man should shell out bucks for a woman. It doesn't make me feel good to go home lighter in the wallet.
Titania22 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Titania, I am not trying to pick on you. But, really. Based on what little info you provided and I am assuming what you said reflected you personally. Get out! Stop doing it. Actually that relationship ended over 3yrs ago. He left me, owing my $70K, and fortunately he is paying it off, because I have no legal recourse and I am screwed if he doesn't. Of course now I have finally reorganised the debt, and have a plan to get it paid off, but anything and everything he pays in the meantime, is going to help me do that. I know he didn't make those choices to deliberately cause a problem, but sometimes people screw up. I appreciate that he is making the effort now to fix his mess, instead of running away from it. If the global financially situation wasn't the way it is, his decisions could have turned out very differently. You live, you learn. But as for me, the bank is shut, I don't even give microfinance now. I guess if you need a $20 to get by for 2 days, you are just going to have to have an unexpected fast now (it won't kill you).
dispatch3d Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 It would seem like he's not a very giving person. I wouldn't like being that sort of guy I guess. How would I feel if a women EXPECTED me to pay for every date? Well, probably very similar to how you will conclude you feel about this given scenario.
Author iris219 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Do you consider a woman who cooks for a man because it makes her feel good to do something nice to be a stepford wife? Why would a woman doing what she enjoys--cooking for someone she cares about--be considered a stepford wife? That's the beauty of feminism--it allows women to choose what they want to do and who they want to be. If a woman hates cooking for her SO than she shouldn't be expected to do it. I'm all for making others happy, but only if it makes the individual happy as well.
Woggle Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 If a woman hates cooking for her SO than she shouldn't be expected to do it. I'm all for making others happy, but only if it makes the individual happy as well. Does this same concept apply to men paying?
daphne Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Probably you have a friend musemaj is complaining and/or ranting about something similar but luckily a few of those jerks here are on my ignore list. I wonder if our ignore lists are the same. There's only so much negativity a person can take.
daphne Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 How about this?... I'd only go on a date when I win a free meal at some resteraunt where none of us would have to pay. I'd go to the Matinee to save a premium price at the movies. What's wrong with an afternoon date? Of course we would take her smart car, because it's not worth it to me to rack up mileage on my 1970 StingRay and gas is to much. :lmao: I'm not sure if you're really a guy or not but you make me giggle.
musemaj11 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Does this same concept apply to men paying? Of course not. Its called feminism for a reason. The choice is only for women. Men's choice is still the same which is no choice. Lol
AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Holy f'ck, just be a man and pay the damn ****... If you think paying for a date makes someone a man you have quite a bit to learn. Tell us, why do men owe females anything.
Author iris219 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Of course. I don't want someone to do something for me unless they really want to. And I don't someone to do something nice only because they're hoping to get something out of it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Untouchable Fire, this is my skill. I may be crap at making money, but I can sure find ways around spending it. My kids and I just got free hair cuts, and my daughter just got a bunch of fillings for free too. Knowing how to get stuff free, or greatly reduced in price is often easier then actually making the money. I also recently got a gym membership where the average person is paying $260/month, and I am paying $25/week. Nothing I do to save money, takes advantage of anyone, and the savings are available to both genders. I also scan petrol prices to buy on the cheapest day (which changes all the time). I think often skills like this are undervalued, and yet in todays economics it seems essential. Personally I enjoy a $6.50 lunch as much as a $30 one. You seem like an awesome Aussie woman! I can't believe you don't have a line of guys wrapping around the block to marry you. I was spending about $15 a day on lunch. On the weeks she cooks its down to $2-4 depending on meal. Plus it's healthier and tastier! I just think that there is this pervasive hard shell mentality from a lot of the women in my dating pool. I'm really glad to not have to deal with it anymore. I think it is part and parcel of that superwoman expectation they tend to put on themselves... like Annette Bennings character in American Beauty.
daphne Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 It would seem like he's not a very giving person. I wouldn't like being that sort of guy I guess. How would I feel if a women EXPECTED me to pay for every date? Well, probably very similar to how you will conclude you feel about this given scenario. True and true. holy crap. I just agreed with you twice! Lack of generosity of spirit is no good. Entitlement to good things just because you're a pretty girl is no good.
Author iris219 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 My last post was an answer to Woggle's question. I can't understand, and maybe he'll explain, why Averagejoe thinks paying for a woman means he's buying into the idea that men owe women. I don't get it. The pun was on accident
AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Not make someone a man, but make them MORE of a man. It's what the man does otherwise your a little pussy. It's just good taste to treat your woman well. Are you serious though? If you go out on a date you seriously don't think you should have to pay? Such an insightful response. I was hoping for something that wouldn't be so remedial, but based on your previous post. I shouldn't have expected much. Didn't answer my question either. I go on dates without spending any money. Why spend money? So by not spending money I take the element of that away completely. As I said before I have created clever ways to go on dates that are fun. Not dates where you spend stupid money to be entertained for an evening and think you are impressing someone. I am talking about dates where both of us are entertained with each other. Signed, You're little pussy.
musemaj11 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Not make someone a man, but make them MORE of a man. It's what the man does otherwise your a little pussy. It's just good taste to treat your woman well. Are you serious though? If you go out on a date you seriously don't think you should have to pay? Ya well its sad that u rate ur 'manliness' based on paying for a woman. If anything it makes u less of a man and more of a doormat. I personally am a giver. I pay all the time be it for friends, family or lovers. However I pay because I'm generous, not because it makes me feel like a 'man'.
musemaj11 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 You're a cheap bastard, end of.. stop buttering it up. If u like being a chump doormat go ahead. No need to call people names.
AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 My last post was an answer to Woggle's question. I can't understand, and maybe he'll explain, why Averagejoe thinks paying for a woman means he's buying into the idea that men owe women. I don't get it. The pun was on accident Women expect men to pay for dates. Right? I think you even said it yourself. We don't owe that to women in this era.
AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 You're a cheap bastard, end of.. stop buttering it up. I might think you are a cum drunk fairy. But that doesn't get us anywhere now does it. If you want to dole out useless bucks, live it up.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Why would a woman doing what she enjoys--cooking for someone she cares about--be considered a stepford wife? That's the beauty of feminism--it allows women to choose what they want to do and who they want to be. If a woman hates cooking for her SO than she shouldn't be expected to do it. I'm all for making others happy, but only if it makes the individual happy as well. Yes! That is definitely the part of feminism *cringe* that I really like. I have heard people say however that it's created a double edged sword in that women that want to be housewives are often looked down on and ridiculed by career women. I've definitely seen some animosity between those two groups. I don't know what the future brings... but I do believe that boys face more issues now than ever before. The college entrance rates have plummeted to astoundingly low levels. It's down to 43% now. With numbers like that social norms are going to HAVE to change. Our educated workforce is going to look extremely female in the future. You can't lock boys out of college and still expect them to do all the paying in relationships.
musemaj11 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Are you serious? you called me a name.....? Being nice and paying for my date makes me a doormat?.. U r paying not to be nice. U r paying because u think a man is supposed to pay so u try to win her by paying. What a chump.
Author iris219 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Women expect men to pay for dates. Right? I think you even said it yourself. We don't owe that to women in this era. No, most women don't expect that in this era. It's nice when a guy WANTS to. Are you saying you never have that desire? Never? I had thought I get mostly responses from women, not start a fight amongst guys...
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 It would seem like he's not a very giving person. I wouldn't like being that sort of guy I guess. How would I feel if a women EXPECTED me to pay for every date? Well, probably very similar to how you will conclude you feel about this given scenario. I think we have established over the course of about 30 threads that paying for dates has ZERO to do with a guy being generous. Actually... it's more likely to show that he is a date rapist than a generous guy. Lack of generosity of spirit is no good. Entitlement to good things just because you're a pretty girl is no good. True. I find that as long as you are not talking about yourself... I agree with you a lot.
AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 No, most women don't expect that in this era. It's nice when a guy WANTS to. Are you saying you never have that desire? Never? I had thought I get mostly responses from women, not start a fight amongst guys... Many may not expect it however, it is still implied by todays social standards within the network of many women. Who desires shelling out hard earned money with no ROI? And I have money. Do I desire it? No, never. Have I ever wasted money on dates? Oh, yeah I sure have and I gave up that long ago.
AverageJoe Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Actually... it's more likely to show that he is a date rapist than a generous guy. WTF?? Please explain before my head asplodes.
musemaj11 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 WExactly.... and I bet as ugly as I am I'd have that woman over you, because I wasn't such a cheap D-bag. Ya well suit yourself chump. Real men don't pay to get a woman just so you know. I used to be a chump like u too, but I man'ed up and grew self respect for myself.
Recommended Posts