Must be taller than me......in HEELS

[somedude81]

Youre a douchebag but since women are goofy and height is magical to them you probably get away with

Just ignore him. In his posts he does nothing but gloat and put down average guys.

----------------

 

One thing I want to address is the people saying that shorter than average guys should focus on shorter women.

 

The problem with that is that it's hard enough to get a date already, automatically ruling out a girl because in flats she's the same height as me is stupid. That will only result in less opportunities.

 

I'm 5'6 and I'll pursue anybody 4'11 to 5'8. Though women around my height are preferred since standing up eye contact is easier.

[East7]

IMO preference is one thing, what happens in reality is another.

 

I think most women would tolerate the hight if there are other qualities that make a man attractive.

 

I have dated once a girl who was some 4 inches higher (without heels !) than me and it didn't bother her a for a second, she was really into me (I was the one who felt weird when going out with her :laugh: ). Another girl I dated was 2 inches taller and she told me if she finds the guy cute, she didn't care.

Edited March 2, 2011 by East7

[somedude81]

For me, the only real issue I have with a woman's height is if she is much shorter or much taller than I am. I like to do salsa and ballroom dancing, and it just works better if the woman's height is within a few inches of my own.

[Eeyore79]

For me, the only real issue I have with a woman's height is if she is much shorter or much taller than I am. I like to do salsa and ballroom dancing, and it just works better if the woman's height is within a few inches of my own.

 

So you have a requirement that the woman must be interested in dancing as a hobby, but it's shallow if women have requirements such as height?

[Mrlonelyone]

I thinks dudes issue is the heels thing. If a woman is naturally tall wanting someone who's also naturally tall is one thing. Demanding a man be taller than you in heels can really eliminate allot of good men...especially if the woman is already tall.

Edited March 3, 2011 by Mrlonelyone

[Phateless]

For me, the only real issue I have with a woman's height is if she is much shorter or much taller than I am. I like to do salsa and ballroom dancing, and it just works better if the woman's height is within a few inches of my own.

 

I salsa and lindy so I know what you mean. The dancing works better if she's close to my height, although there are some pretty slick tuck turns you can do more easily if the girl is short.

 

So you have a requirement that the woman must be interested in dancing as a hobby, but it's shallow if women have requirements such as height?

 

Somedude said NOTHING about dancing being a requirement. Where in the hell do you get that from? In fact he wasn't even talking about someone he's dating, he's talking about a DANCE PARTNER!

 

This is why I hate this forum. People read waaaay too much into things so they can flame you. Give me a F-ing break...

[Faded_x]

It is as shallow as a man wanting only wanting thin women who have large breasts. It's exactly the same thing.

I agree; it is the same thing. And I don't see anything wrong with a man wanting that either. It's a person's prerogative to decide what they want in a person and what they find attractive. People come in all different shapes, sizes and colours; and I assure you there is someone who finds each of these people attractive. I think it a bit ridiculous to want everyone to find everything and everyone attractive.

 

But what's the point in me dating someone if I'm not physically attracted to them? If someone is ugly, they can't change their face - so should I date them because their ugly face isn't their fault? If someone is deformed or disabled, they can't change that - so should I still date them even if I find them unattractive? I just don't see how the fact that someone can't change their appearance means I should date them despite finding them unattractive.

Quoted for truth, and because this is exactly what I was trying to say in my response. I (and some other women) don't find shorter men attractive. We shouldn't have to apologise for that, or go out with them because it will make them feel better. There ARE women out there who prefer shorter men, so why is it necessary for everyone to?

[oaks]

This just goes to prove that people are extremely picky in online dating. A woman who states her preference for men of a certain height might actually be attracted to a shorter guy if she met him in person and he was fun and charismatic. But in online dating it's all too easy to set arbitrary rules for people's height, weight, income, etc - in the absence of physical cues, these characteristics are one of the main ways to filter potential dates.

 

I agree with this (and I see several other posters saying similar things).

 

I never would have met my previous SO if online dating was the only way to meet people as she would never have come up in any of my searches for several reasons, but we had an LTR that was good for many years.

[irc333]

I agree; it is the same thing. And I don't see anything wrong with a man wanting that either. It's a person's prerogative to decide what they want in a person and what they find attractive. People come in all different shapes, sizes and colours; and I assure you there is someone who finds each of these people attractive. I think it a bit ridiculous to want everyone to find everything and everyone attractive.

 

Yeah, but if the person isn't much to write home about when it comes to appearances, they really shouldn't expect someone who is even more attractive than THEY are to be interested.

 

That's why it would be more realisitc to date at least their equals in looks.....BUT, I'm NOT saying that they should give a perfect hunk/babe an attempt either (I would consider it a bonus)....because at least you tried.

 

Believe it or not, I have gone out with some really hot women, but only occasionally, so I think to myself, "Hey, I guess still some hot women find and average guy attractive if he plays the right cards or is charming enough, lol"

 

 

 

Speaking of bonuses, like with women wanting a man who is over 6 feet (and them being only 5 feet), that should be a bonus, not a requirement. Like with me, I love large breasted women, however, I only consider that a bonus....if they have average size....I'll date them, but not eliminate them out of the dating running like some people so quickly do without blinking an eye.

 

So I even had average Janes turn me down. ...<shrug> go figure

[Cee]

I think in attraction, people always strive for "above average," but whatever that means isn't clear. I've read psychology studies where many people consider themselves above average in terms of intelligence, however, the whole definition of average means that most people hover around there.

 

Since "average" in terms of looks and personality is a plastic metric, we are all fortunate that we can define it for ourselves. There is so much that makes up people that it is not surprising when I hear my friend have a crush on half the women in a room. He's wired to love them so he can fall for women in all their delicious diversity. And I am the same with men. So all of us can say we are dating up in some way, by whatever characteristics we choose.

 

To close, I have an anecdote... I was at a modern art gallery in Amsterdam (Stedalijk) and I walked into a large room. The room was completely white walls with this thick band of wavy black all around it. It was a stripe of thousands and thousands of dots. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what it meant. The dots were clustered close together, with on a few of them high up the way or low. I was puzzled until I read the curators notes. Visitors to the wall had measured their height in a black dot. It was a lovely piece and showed how everybody contributes to the overall portrait of life.

[irc333]

I remember seeing this comedian on TV, apparently he was with a friend at a bar, he had an ugly male friend.

 

The ugly male friend points to a woman and says, "Man that chick is ugly" and his comedian friend says, "Um..why don't you go over there, because YOU are ugly, too."

 

The audience laughed.

 

 

 

I think in attraction, people always strive for "above average," but whatever that means isn't clear. I've read psychology studies where many people consider themselves above average in terms of intelligence, however, the whole definition of average means that most people hover around there.

 

Since "average" in terms of looks and personality is a plastic metric, we are all fortunate that we can define it for ourselves. There is so much that makes up people that it is not surprising when I hear my friend have a crush on half the women in a room. He's wired to love them so he can fall for women in all their delicious diversity. And I am the same with men. So all of us can say we are dating up in some way, by whatever characteristics we choose.

 

To close, I have an anecdote... I was at a modern art gallery in Amsterdam (Stedalijk) and I walked into a large room. The room was completely white walls with this thick band of wavy black all around it. It was a stripe of thousands and thousands of dots. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what it meant. The dots were clustered close together, with on a few of them high up the way or low. I was puzzled until I read the curators notes. Visitors to the wall had measured their height in a black dot. It was a lovely piece and showed how everybody contributes to the overall portrait of life.

[irc333]

I think I am one of those rare people ( I could be wrong ) that actually KNOWS "Average" when I see it, or good looking.

 

Also known as "Universally attractive"

 

Like I can look at a person, and I can tell if they are extremely hot looking, that EVERY man (unless he is gay) in the room WILL take a gander at her. There will be NO man that will find said woman unattractive.

 

Same goes for unattractive people and so on. I can tell that most or maybe even ALL men will find said person attractive or unattractive.

 

 

I think in attraction, people always strive for "above average," but whatever that means isn't clear. I've read psychology studies where many people consider themselves above average in terms of intelligence, however, the whole definition of average means that most people hover around there.

 

Since "average" in terms of looks and personality is a plastic metric, we are all fortunate that we can define it for ourselves. There is so much that makes up people that it is not surprising when I hear my friend have a crush on half the women in a room. He's wired to love them so he can fall for women in all their delicious diversity. And I am the same with men. So all of us can say we are dating up in some way, by whatever characteristics we choose.

 

To close, I have an anecdote... I was at a modern art gallery in Amsterdam (Stedalijk) and I walked into a large room. The room was completely white walls with this thick band of wavy black all around it. It was a stripe of thousands and thousands of dots. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what it meant. The dots were clustered close together, with on a few of them high up the way or low. I was puzzled until I read the curators notes. Visitors to the wall had measured their height in a black dot. It was a lovely piece and showed how everybody contributes to the overall portrait of life.

[Els]

Oh c'mon, this isn't the worst of the 'shallow' preferences that people have. You evidently haven't seen the fat men criticizing the figures of girls half their size.

[LittleTiger]

I think I am one of those rare people ( I could be wrong ) that actually KNOWS "Average" when I see it, or good looking.

 

Also known as "Universally attractive"

 

Like I can look at a person, and I can tell if they are extremely hot looking, that EVERY man (unless he is gay) in the room WILL take a gander at her. There will be NO man that will find said woman unattractive.

 

Same goes for unattractive people and so on. I can tell that most or maybe even ALL men will find said person attractive or unattractive.

 

I am a mature woman of 46 and it still amazes me how men, especially younger men, are so hung up on looks as a measure of attractiveness. There is no such thing as 'average' or 'universally attractive'.

 

We all know that looks are not the only thing that makes a person attractive, although for most men (for biological reasons) it is obviously the primary focus.

 

Imagine you had a group of women ranging from 'ugly' to 'super hot' and you placed them in a line in order of attractiveness according to looks.

 

Then you asked each of them to say a few words - don't you think the order would change?

 

Then you asked each of them to walk around the room a little - don't you think the order would change again?

 

Then you had a conversation with each of them in turn for 10 minutes - don't you think the order would change yet again?

 

You could continue to do this all day and the order would change every time you introduced a new criteria and on every different guy who was asked to rate the women. At the end of the day, each guy could get to pick his 'favourite' and I'd lay very good odds that they would all choose different women.

 

We are all different! Every one of us. We all focus on different things. I'm 5'3" and, as a result, I have short legs. We all know that men prefer long legs - don't we? So how come I've never been short of admirers? Perhaps it's because the length of my legs is not that important after all?

 

Short men - get over it. You're short. There's not much you an do about it and there are plenty of women out there who really don't care. If you're not getting women, it probably has more to do with how you present yourself because of how you feel about your height than because of your height itself.

 

Look at it this way, if short guys weren't getting laid, don't you think the 'short' gene would have started to die out? There are obviously still plenty of you around so I think it's safe to say that most of you are doing ok.

[Els]

 

Look at it this way, if short guys weren't getting laid, don't you think the 'short' gene would have started to die out? There are obviously still plenty of you around so I think it's safe to say that most of you are doing ok.

 

Hahahahah, this is a good one.

 

I think what those complainers mean is that they're not getting the 'hot' girls, though, as per your opening paragraph. Not that they aren't getting girls per se. So they want the stereotypical leggy, slim, hourglass-shaped etc 5'7" women, but are annoyed that those women impose similar 'shallow' preferences on them.

[Els]

The best solution is not to date glamour queens. They are shallow and move in a shallow world and date men just as shallow as they are.

 

First time I've probably agreed with Woggle.

 

If the women you're hitting on are all so obsessed with their heels that they discount a guy because of them, you need to ask yourself just WHY you are hitting on such women specifically.

[Els]

Which is silly because height doesnt make someone a good protector.

 

Tall women are almost never attractive to me anyway.

 

Noone ever said biology made sense. Plenty of men claim that they like women with large breasts and hips because 'men are ingrained to want good childbearers and women with large breasts and hips look like they are'. Well, guess what? That's 'silly' because small breasts breastfeed every bit as well as large breasts, and small hips give birth just fine!

[GivenUp0083]

Why do some women factor in their heels as part of their height?

 

I saw this profile of an averaged sized woman:

 

" Men 5'10" and taller are preferred because when I put on my 3- 4 inch heels - I am 5'10- 5'11""

 

So is actually 5'6". But, of course, puts me out of the running, because I'm 5'8" if she counts the heels.

 

Why do women count the heels?

 

Now, if she was a woman that was naturally 5'10", it would make sense to date a taller man, but this??

 

You are STILL hung up on this? Really?

 

Why do you care about dating a woman that has such a ridiculous requirement anyway?

 

Get over it. Move on.

[GivenUp0083]

Women who wear heels generally like men who are way taller than them, in society it looks asthetically better. They also like men who are bigger than them in general. Its just the way it is. So if youre 5'8", you have to look for a very short woman, and you will be good to go.

 

I'm 5'8", my current gf is 5'6" and we met online dating. She knew my height before we met.

 

Perfect solution- date shorter women with fetish for flats. Problem solved.

 

IRC doesn't want a solution, he wants the world to come down on this woman for having preferences that he deems "unacceptable".

 

irc333 - Man to man - do you want perspective from members or do you want to argue with us because you're frustrated? Seriously...

 

Women factor in their heels because it's all about the FEELING and the experience. They want to FEEL beautiful and glamorous and feminine next to us and some women are very self-conscious about being taller than their guy, even with heels.

 

It's not because she thinks you're too short - it's because she probably feels kinda manly towering over you. Make sense?

 

The point is you should just chill out. If you're interested, message her and ignore her requirements. She likes you or she doesn't. Beyond that just grow a pair, quit whining and continue your search.

 

He is very frustrated, and since he's in a rural area, he feels his options are limited. He also feels that because options are limited, that women should lower their standards and give him a chance at a relationship. He doesn't understand that not everyone wants a relationship and people don't HAVE TO get married someday.

 

His posts make me feel like he's trying to round up individuals to have an intervention for these women online who won't go out with him. Whether it be their requirements, they're not into him, he's creepy.....he wants to displace any blame on his own shortcommings onto women he's never met, gather us up, and tell her that she is wrong in having ridiculous preferences and that she should settle for IRC.

 

I've tried to explain to him to let it go and spend more time and energy on finding someone who appreciates him for who he is, but he'd rather dwell on the negative.

 

 

The best solution is not to date glamour queens. They are shallow and move in a shallow world and date men just as shallow as they are. Just leave them alone. Try and date tomboys who are not obsessed with feeling girly.

 

Women are natually more shallow than men. They never see it this way of course and they'll take your head if you point it out to them, but men who have been through the mill of women BS know what's up.

 

Yeah, but if the person isn't much to write home about when it comes to appearances, they really shouldn't expect someone who is even more attractive than THEY are to be interested.

 

That's why it would be more realisitc to date at least their equals in looks.....BUT, I'm NOT saying that they should give a perfect hunk/babe an attempt either (I would consider it a bonus)....because at least you tried.

 

Believe it or not, I have gone out with some really hot women, but only occasionally, so I think to myself, "Hey, I guess still some hot women find and average guy attractive if he plays the right cards or is charming enough, lol"

 

Speaking of bonuses, like with women wanting a man who is over 6 feet (and them being only 5 feet), that should be a bonus, not a requirement. Like with me, I love large breasted women, however, I only consider that a bonus....if they have average size....I'll date them, but not eliminate them out of the dating running like some people so quickly do without blinking an eye.

 

So I even had average Janes turn me down. ...<shrug> go figure

 

It's not up to you to determine what people desire from a person. Who are you to tell someone what they can and cannot look for in a partner? Just because you don't fit their criteria doesn't mean you have a right to judge them and criticize them. Not everyone has struggles with dating like you do, and not everyone feels like they have an obligation to date and get married as soon as possible. Many people in today's world feel that marriage is a life bonus, not a requirement, so if they find the right person then great, if not they'll move on with their lives and enjoy it without hating on people for not falling in love with them.

[LittleTiger]

Women are natually more shallow than men.

 

Hey watch it buddy!

 

Until you've walked a mile or two in a woman's shoes (heels or not - can't be doing with them too often myself ) you can't make such generalisations.

 

I don't doubt there are a lot of shallow women in the world - but, believe me, in my experience there are just as many shallow men.

 

I did the online dating thing for a while and, although my profile was very in-depth, I deliberately didn't post a close up photo of my face or body. I still got a good number of responses from genuine, decent, non-shallow guys. However, I got a huge number of guys sending one line emails - 'Lets see a photo then'.

 

If that's not shallow, I don't know what is.

[betsssssy]

I think this is just a matter of what one wants. Whether it's height or body type or education level. I'm 5'9" and don't care about height. I say let this woman be as picky as she wants--more for me! If you don't meet her criterion, who cares? There are plenty more where she came from.

[Faded_x]

Yeah, but if the person isn't much to write home about when it comes to appearances, they really shouldn't expect someone who is even more attractive than THEY are to be interested.

 

That's why it would be more realisitc to date at least their equals in looks.....BUT, I'm NOT saying that they should give a perfect hunk/babe an attempt either (I would consider it a bonus)....because at least you tried.

 

Believe it or not, I have gone out with some really hot women, but only occasionally, so I think to myself, "Hey, I guess still some hot women find and average guy attractive if he plays the right cards or is charming enough, lol"

 

 

 

Speaking of bonuses, like with women wanting a man who is over 6 feet (and them being only 5 feet), that should be a bonus, not a requirement. Like with me, I love large breasted women, however, I only consider that a bonus....if they have average size....I'll date them, but not eliminate them out of the dating running like some people so quickly do without blinking an eye.

 

So I even had average Janes turn me down. ...<shrug> go figure

That is true. But why are you assuming that everyone is trying to get someone out of their league? How does having preferences, such as wanting someone who is above a certain height, mean that they're looking for someone above their level of attractiveness? Obviously an obese, hunch-backed guy with yellowing and decayed teeth wouldn't realistically be able to have preferences in a girl that include model-like stunning beauty. But I hardly think a preference such as height is reaching above their level.

[irc333]

Don't forget this, "No pic, no response" written in some people's profiles. lol

 

 

Hey watch it buddy!

 

Until you've walked a mile or two in a woman's shoes (heels or not - can't be doing with them too often myself ) you can't make such generalisations.

 

I don't doubt there are a lot of shallow women in the world - but, believe me, in my experience there are just as many shallow men.

 

I did the online dating thing for a while and, although my profile was very in-depth, I deliberately didn't post a close up photo of my face or body. I still got a good number of responses from genuine, decent, non-shallow guys. However, I got a huge number of guys sending one line emails - 'Lets see a photo then'.

 

If that's not shallow, I don't know what is.

[GivenUp0083]

Hey watch it buddy!

 

Until you've walked a mile or two in a woman's shoes (heels or not - can't be doing with them too often myself ) you can't make such generalisations.

 

I don't doubt there are a lot of shallow women in the world - but, believe me, in my experience there are just as many shallow men.

 

I did the online dating thing for a while and, although my profile was very in-depth, I deliberately didn't post a close up photo of my face or body. I still got a good number of responses from genuine, decent, non-shallow guys. However, I got a huge number of guys sending one line emails - 'Lets see a photo then'.

 

If that's not shallow, I don't know what is.

 

Sorry, but your example is flawed. I've been in that position though I've never asked a girl for a body shot photo, simply because I'm not interested in dating a woman that has something to hide.

 

Online dating is a situation where a guy is expected to sacrafice his time, AND his money to meet a girl. I think it's fair that before meeting someone you get to see a true picture of what they look like, and that includes your body.

 

Until you've been in a man's shoes during the online dating experience, you'll find a lot of guys, including myself, were burned by the "no body" photos, did the decent guy thing and went out with a girl with only face shots, only to find that she weighed over 200 lbs.

 

This is what I mean by the shallowness, you just proved it. It's okay for a girl to demand a height from a guy, but if a guy just wants a true visual depiction of a girl he's about to meet then he's "shallow"?

 

I don't buy female bull****, go sell that somewhere else.

[LittleTiger]

Sorry, but your example is flawed. I've been in that position though I've never asked a girl for a body shot photo, simply because I'm not interested in dating a woman that has something to hide.

 

Online dating is a situation where a guy is expected to sacrafice his time, AND his money to meet a girl. I think it's fair that before meeting someone you get to see a true picture of what they look like, and that includes your body.

 

Until you've been in a man's shoes during the online dating experience, you'll find a lot of guys, including myself, were burned by the "no body" photos, did the decent guy thing and went out with a girl with only face shots, only to find that she weighed over 200 lbs.

 

This is what I mean by the shallowness, you just proved it. It's okay for a girl to demand a height from a guy, but if a guy just wants a true visual depiction of a girl he's about to meet then he's "shallow"?

 

I don't buy female bull****, go sell that somewhere else.

 

Sorry, but I don't follow you. I fail to see how my post proved any shallowness. Would you care to explain?

 

In my mind your post just supported by argument and you've just proved to me how shallow guys are.......and you didn't read my post properly - I said I didn't post any close ups.

 

I was happy to get to know anybody who contacted me without 'lets see a photo' being the first thing they said. In my book that is shallow. I certainly never refused to show a photo to a guy once I'd decided he was looking for more than a quick sh*g and it was very clear from the photos I did put up that I don't weigh 200lbs!

 

You do realise, also, that people sometimes post photos of someone else? Or from 10 years ago? So a photo is no guarantee of anything.

 

I didn't care if the guy had a photo either, or how 'good looking' he was - attraction for me is not about looks. Nor did I 'demand' any specific physical attributes though, obviously, like every other individual on this planet, male and female, there are some that attract me more than others.

 

I had nothing to hide, but a lot of very shallow guys to weed out and there is nothing shallow about me. Nothing I said was bull**** either and I'm not selling anything.

 

What I am saying is that you don't know what it's like to be a woman. I don't know what it's like to be a man either, of course, but then I'm not the one who's saying one sex is more shallow than the other.