Author makelemonade1974 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 I really urge that you n0 longer do that Okay, let me say this again. I HAVE F-ING CLOSURE.I AM NEVER GOING TO CONTACT THIS GUY AGAIN. I DO NOT NEED TO BE TOLD NOT TO CONTACT HIM. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. HE IS AN IDIOT. I DO NOT WANT HIM IN MY LIFE.
WTRanger Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I don't think you stalked him. You simply wanted answers from an assclown who would rather stay silent. You simply wanted to give the relationship a nice ending. Something civil, rather than the last thing that happened. Something that made sense. When someone you've known plays the silent game on you, you do things irrationally. You seek answers. The more they ignore you, the more you reach out. It's a vicious cycle. Anyone who says they can deal with the silent treatment is just kidding them self. Truth be told, he has no right to say you were harassing him. If he wanted you to stop, that immature idiot could have told you to stop instead of ignoring you. He apparently told everyone but the person that he was supposed to be telling.
MidnightinMadrid Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 (edited) Okay, let me say this again. I HAVE F-ING CLOSURE.I AM NEVER GOING TO CONTACT THIS GUY AGAIN. I DO NOT NEED TO BE TOLD NOT TO CONTACT HIM. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. HE IS AN IDIOT. I DO NOT WANT HIM IN MY LIFE. I so wish I hadn't even started this thread No one is putting a gun to your head to write threads,and youre lucky to even get responses,some folks get 0 replies. Also,there is no need to be writing in bold letters,you wrote detailing your repeated contact to this guy asking if you were stalking,and in my response have not mentioned anything about closure. Not to mention i have been nothing but supportive and courteous when replying to your threads bc I too have repeatedly contacted someone and got the silent treatment-and still contacted him last month after vowing never to do that again,so I do understand. So if you don't need my or anyone elses advice bc you apparently have all the answers, thats more than fine.There are many other threads for me to help others in,but still,there is no need to be rude. Edited March 3, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid
Author makelemonade1974 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Midnight - I did not mean to be rude. I was just getting so frustrated with the repeated "I think you should stop doing this" sort of comments - which is what you said (notice I quoted it). The thing is, I am looking at past behavior not present behavior. And it is something I am not proud of and feel sort like my ex has socially stigmatized me for. To post on a forum a question like the original one and have people reply with "quit stalking" or "quit contacting him" when I have no desire to do either of those things is quit frustrating. You have indeed been supportive and I'm sorry that I vented my frustrations at you. As there is no "delete post" function on this board, it is difficult to take back anything that is said. I was looking for support and did get quit a bit of it, but Carhill's condescension, followed by Depp's laughing at me and telling me my therapist wasn't working, followed by a couple people telling me to "quit stalking" set me off a little bit. This is a very sensitive topic for me, as I have been continually gaslighted by this man for a long time.
depplover_1980 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Yeah cos I laugh at you all the time. Oh p i s s off.
MidnightinMadrid Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 (edited) This is where i disagree,Depp has always been supportive and have been on your side. Furthermore you called Carhill,who if i'm correct,has been a long time member and has helped countless of people condescending,which i beleive you were to him. I'm in my early 40's and have never felt that I was too smart to listen to anyone's advice especially someone older. It doesnt matter how long I've been in relationships or married as you so have pointed out,that itself doesnt or wouldnt make you or anyone else experts or we all wouldnt be here. Still I felt you were a bit way out of line. Its obvious that people were concerned about the excessive amount of times you contacted him and of course they are going say go NC,just bc you didnt want to hear it didn't mean you had to lash out. It may have been fustrating to you but as i recall in your previous thread you actually confronted him,(which I was cheering you for it)so apparently you couldnt let this guy be so then wonder why you keep getting the stop doing that comments. So you said its past history,obviously your previous contact w/ him still concerned you or you wouldnt have written this thread. Like I said i've seen ppl write long page threads,on this and other sites and are lucky to even get 1 reply,it happened to me. Also, there are many other forums you can go to so youre not obligated to stay on this one. Edited March 3, 2011 by MidnightinMadrid
D78 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Lemonade, Sorry for this late addition. I just wanted to say that my first reaction to your question was "H*ll no, you're not a stalker. You're Lemonade..." I looked up "stalking" and found this - http://www.stalkingbehavior.com/definiti.htm I read all the definitions, and I'm pretty sure you weren't a stalker. Even the 'rejected' category doesn't fit, because you weren't seeking reconciliation or revenge; you were seeking an answer. I admire you for thinking about all these things that are easier to ignore. I think you can check 'stalking' off your list, and continue with your evaluation. Good luck!
Author makelemonade1974 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Okay, I'm outta here. Good luck to all of you.
depplover_1980 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Okay, I'm outta here. Good luck to all of you. Don't leave.
mmiller5373 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Well according to a lot of the definitions of "stalking"... I was a "stalker" to my ex-girlfriend. Did a lot of the same things that makelemonade speaks of. Why? Because my ex broke up with me via a text message with no real explanation. I wanted answers. Didn't get them. Would go weeks without contact until I decided that I still wanted those answers. Still didn't get them... well, from her at least... Eventually I realized that I wasn't acting like myself and have since moved on. I've been NC for 3 months and will be NC forever. As for those answers... she left me for another guy. Plain and simple. If she had just told me that from the beginning instead of giving me the "maybe it could work between us in the future" and then the silent treatment, things wouldn't have ever escalated.
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