musemaj11 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 In another thread a woman said that a guy using a woman for sex is worse than a girl using a guy for money. Personally I find such a view extremely outrageous and further strengthens my perception that women really do have little appreciation of a man's money and takes for granted the money that a man spends. Do women think that men get money from magical money-growing trees in our backyards or what? Why do you have such a low appreciation then? Dont any of you work and know firsthand how hard it is to make money? Im a full-time student and I have a full-time job doing physical work. For six days a week I spend 12 hours either at work or at school each day. I work hard for the little money I have so when I do spend it on someone it really comes from the heart as a gesture of appreciation. Therefore it really angers me to know that women dont value a man's money and takes it for granted like a parking space at Walmart. Im more and more convinced by the day that there are only two kinds of women in this world; Gold diggers and gold diggers who are not attractive enough to be gold diggers.
Eeyore79 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I would rather be used for money than for sex. At least being used for money is somewhat impersonal. Being used for sex just makes you feel dirty, and it's heartbreaking because you were probably really attached to the guy in order to have had sex with him in the first place.
Els Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Being used for both is equally bad, and only jerks use a person for either. That being said, 'using' is not synonymous with 'appreciating that part of a R'. A guy wanting sex, along with other things, in an R, is no better or worse than a girl wanting to be treated on occasion. C'mon now, surely it isn't rocket science?
phineas Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I wish a woman would use me for sex.... so I can better understand what they go through when they fall victim to a player. Yeah. That's it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Do women think that men get money from magical money-growing trees in our backyards or what? Why do you have such a low appreciation then? Dont any of you work and know firsthand how hard it is to make money? Im a full-time student and I have a full-time job doing physical work. For six days a week I spend 12 hours either at work or at school each day. I work hard for the little money I have so when I do spend it on someone it really comes from the heart as a gesture of appreciation. Therefore it really angers me to know that women dont value a man's money and takes it for granted like a parking space at Walmart. Im more and more convinced by the day that there are only two kinds of women in this world; Gold diggers and gold diggers who are not attractive enough to be gold diggers. Ok, lets be very honest about this topic. Women want you to pay for dates because of how it makes them feel. Like a small emotional high. Most of the other reasons given for it are secondary. Women like to feel special... so do we guys, nothing inherently wrong with that. With that in mind, it's not that most women don't appreciate you spending your hard earned cash on them. They are not typically looking for a free meal, they are most commonly looking to feel special. The only rub is that they care more about how they feel than how I feel when it comes to paying. If a woman is getting used for sex, she is for lack of a better term... easy. There is a pretty simple solution.
Kamille Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Just like I don't have sex unless I fully consent to it, I hope the men who insisted on paying when we were out on dates were doint it consensually. Nobody was holding a gun to their head when the bill came. Also, nobody said they had to lavish me with fancy meals. Men do get to decide where to go for dates and are allowed to request going dutch. Some women might not like this, but then I would only consider that man and that woman to be incompatible. But FYI, had a guy ever lied to me to get into my pants and then scrammed, yes, I would consider that far worse than me going out on a date and letting him pay for it even though I didn't see a second date happening. Edited March 2, 2011 by Kamille
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Being used for sex is worse. Money's value is only in the fact that as long as it's value doesn't deprecate, it's worth something, but my body is something I have to live with until the day I die.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Well, I have money, and I also have a body ... I would probably dislike being "used" for sex more than being used for money. My body is more personal to me than what I have in the bank. If a man was pretending to "love" me so he could get sex OR money from me, though, I think that both would be exactly equally miserable for me. It's not what you are giving up ... sex or money ... it's the emotional betrayal inherent in that situation that is undeniably painful. On the other hand, there are plenty of arrangements between people where each one is "using" the other to get certain needs met which are mutually beneficial and acceptable.
carhill Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Well, as a man, I can't retire on sex. How do I know this? My divorce added another ~ten years of work until I can comfortably retire. All the sex in the world won't change that reality. If I would have remained single, sexless or not, even with the costs of caring for my mother, I could have retired in another three years. Message for young men: Don't use women for sex. Get a pre-nup. Women will necessarily crunch their own numbers, as my exW did. YMMV
sally4sara Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Don't we all get used for our money everyday without sex as a return? You spend X and get Y to show for it. If Y is not useful to you or not of equal value - don't shell out X. I call BS. Men who pay the bill are not buying guaranteed sex and they know it going it to the situation. Sure there are men who will get pissy if, at the end of a date, they don't get laid. They are just as guilty of false advertising as a woman who has her expenses covered with zero intention of ever allowing the association to turn more intimate. One is pretending to pay for a meal but is really trying to purchase sex. The other is pretending to consider the guy for romance while really just trying to get an ego stroke. No, the vast majority of men who foot the bill are doing it so the woman considers becoming intimate with them. They know full well she may consider it and decide she'd rather not. Upon getting sex, men may then consider becoming more emotionally invested in the woman. She has sex with him knowing full well he may then decide he'd rather not.
mtber75 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Ok, lets be very honest about this topic. Women want you to pay for dates because of how it makes them feel. Like a small emotional high. Most of the other reasons given for it are secondary. Women like to feel special... so do we guys, nothing inherently wrong with that. With that in mind, it's not that most women don't appreciate you spending your hard earned cash on them. They are not typically looking for a free meal, they are most commonly looking to feel special. The only rub is that they care more about how they feel than how I feel when it comes to paying. If a woman is getting used for sex, she is for lack of a better term... easy. There is a pretty simple solution. Actually it makes me feel special if I'm paying for dates! Why not spend my hard earned money on someone worthy. It's different when your a student. But for many men being financially competent is a measure of their self worth. But it would be nice that the girl go dutch or even pay once in a while:)
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I just think it's hard for some people to imagine being used for money. Money isn't just paper. It represents my time and effort. If someone takes me for say 10k, that represents over 120 hours of my professional life. It represents my hopes and dreams, my ability to do things for my family, vacations I could take. By using someone for money you are literally robbing them of life experiences, opportunities that may never be available again. I suppose it's all about perspective. When you don't have to really worry about someone taking your money... sex is more important... and vise versa.
Kamille Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 It's not what you are giving up ... sex or money ... it's the emotional betrayal inherent in that situation that is undeniably painful. That's true. Being used for sex is a bigger betrayal in my book than being used for money - mostly because to me, sex doesn't happen at the same moment in the relationship. The paying happens upfront, when you're still getting to know each other. Generally, (and sorry for generalizing) women have sex when they feel (or want to feel) emotionally connected to a man. As such, I think being used for sex is probably experienced as a greater emotional betrayal. I think the biggest issue is that more men feel used for money than women feel used for sex. Paying for the date is inherently supposed to impress your date or something. Therefore, I can understand that it gets frustrating when you pay for the first few dates and then the women says she isn't interested. It's misguided to assume these women were "using" their date. I think the majority of women date with the intention of finding a good man with whom to establish a relationship. As such, when the monetary investment doesn't pay out, I would say that it wasn't because the woman purposefully went about using a guy for his cash, but instead dediced they were incomptabile. The frustration of the payer is not directly connected to the intention of the datee. The same is true of the majority of women who feel used for sex. I think the guys had good intentions or didn't purposefully miscommunicate their intentions. As such, like I said, I think truly getting used for sex is rare, just like truly getting used for cash is rare. The feelings of getting used are what are more important, with feeling used for sex being more damaging and feeling used for money more frequent.
Lilmisus Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I watched Maury for the first time in years yesterday, and one of the married couples was like a 24 year old girl and 56 year old man (not sure the ages), and she was wondering if he was cheating on her. Turns out he was and had multiple times, but tried lying about it..and she admitted to openly cheating on him (told the lie detector tests yes to the questions). She also admitted to only wanting his money since she liked money, and wasn't in love with him, and he knew this. Apparently it was okay for either of them to "cheat" as long as the other knew about it? Weird couple, but this reminded me of them, and after watching their segment on the show, I can say I would much more hate to be used for sex than money. Money comes and goes, but sex is on a way more personal level, and if they're using you for sex, they're probably using others the same exact way, and any disease that comes with it lasts much longer than any dent in your bank account could last.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I just think it's hard for some people to imagine being used for money. Money isn't just paper. It represents my time and effort. If someone takes me for say 10k, that represents over 120 hours of my professional life. It represents my hopes and dreams, my ability to do things for my family, vacations I could take. By using someone for money you are literally robbing them of life experiences, opportunities that may never be available again. I suppose it's all about perspective. When you don't have to really worry about someone taking your money... sex is more important... and vise versa. Unless they're scam artists, how do you easily fork over 10 k of your savings? I understand where you're getting at, but nobody forced a gun to your hand to spend that much on a person. If anything people are too gullible. It's like investing in a Ponzi scam and hoping to get double the returns.
sally4sara Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I'd say its worse to get used for sex than it is to get used for dinner or entertainment costs. No one cares how many women a guy has bought dinner for. He will be seen as a swell and generous guy. However, plenty of people will care how many men a woman has had sex with and think less of her if the number is high. And since men shell out money and body easily but reserve their heart till a certain amount of time shows indications of how wise it would be to share it, they already understand why money isn't the most important factor in this exchange.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 How about you don't let people use you for money or for sex? If you are using your money or your sex as a tool for leverage to get something else that you want from someone, it's your own fault if it falls through. Spend money on someone because you want to, and have sex with someone because you want to -- not to get something else in exchange.
SmileFace Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 What is worse : Being a man or a women? haha joking
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 A woman being used for sex and a man being used for his money are both equal. Just as there are men who want nothing but sex from a woman, there are women who want a guy only for his money. One is not better or worse than the other.
cybercypher Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 mmmm i would have to agree. if you are prepared to flash the cash so to speak, a fool and his money is soon parted. and then whats happen is when your skint she f*cksoff leaving you with no money and no girl but most men would proberbly prefered to be used for sex as long as theres no real deep emotions attached and it depends on how long the relationship has been ongoing. what worst is if you are getting used for both!
Pyro Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 worst case scenarios here: A woman goes on one date with a man with the sole intention of using him for his money. One date would equal out to? Less than 100 bucks I'd imagine. A man goes on one date with a woman with the sole intention of using her for sex. That one sex session can leave one or both parties with an STD and even a bun in the oven. You tell me which one is worse.
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Worst case scenario would be the woman stealing your wallet (or just credit cards) and draining your accounts. And maybe she'd even steal your car.
SmileFace Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 worst case scenarios here: A woman goes on one date with a man with the sole intention of using him for his money. One date would equal out to? Less than 100 bucks I'd imagine. A man goes on one date with a woman with the sole intention of using her for sex. That one sex session can leave one or both parties with an STD and even a bun in the oven. You tell me which one is worse. Interesting , I didn't think of it like that. I vote for the latter.
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