mkultra Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Ill try and keep this short and straightforward: So, my girlfriend and I of 6 years broke up a few months ago. At first I was fine; I think I just really numbed my pain by playing Fallout NV, Two Worlds, Mass Effect, etc to a ridiculous extent. She started "officially" dating another guy 2 months back, I believe it to be a rebound. I've never heard of him before, noone in her family or friends likes him, and he's a mean drunk, almost violent. However, she tells me she has feelings for him, and has the "new spark", which she is taking a liking to. Needless to say, after learning this, I got angry with her, had a bad fight on the phone, and didn't talk for a couple weeks. After feeling increasingly depressed, I decided to meet up with her. Well, we hung out 2 or 3 times within 2 weeks, and both times I ended up crying like a child about how we should get back together, after having sex. Needless to say, it didn't work, and after researching the net, I found that was the worst idea possible. About 10 days later after the cryfest (today), I had my first get together with her. I did everything outlined in all the relationship material I could find: be myself, didn't look like a grouch, be confident, kept it short, dont bring bad vibes up, etc. We went bowling, and I was flirting with her the whole time to which she was pretty receptive, and I think flirted back, though I don't know if my mind is just wanting to believe she was, so thats still up for debate. I even did the wipe an eyelash from her face a couple of times and she smiled, wasn't weirded out by it. Keep in mind she's still with this other dude, who is very jealous of us hanging out. Just yesterday, I had a mutual friend do some investigating for me who is also my ex's cousin (I know I shouldn't have, but she's very trusting, and she doesn't like the new guy either). My ex ended up saying that she knows I'm the perfect guy, she just doesn't have the spark for me now. She also said that if she got it back for me she'll dump the new kid, or if the new kid doesn't want her seeing me, she'll dump him as well. She also said that she doesn't see much of a future with him, and says that she gets depressed when she thinks about me, whatever that means. My informant also told me that my ex was wearing my ring on Valentine's Day, which was just a couple weeks ago. However, she still is infatuated with him. Is it because he is new? Could she have really developed feelings for this kid, but still isn't over me? Its been 2 months for them now, and that seems to be the cutoff of the "rebound relationship" in terms of length, so I'm scared that they could get more serious. I made pretty much every mistake you could possibly make, and I'm just scared I have lost all chances with her. Any advice? Thanks to whoever spent the time to read my fail, it is appreciated. After writing all this down I have become a little more optimistic about it, but still would like to hear what someone has to say on the subject. FYI I'm 22.
flume Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Hang in there buddy.. Although I don't think I am qualified enough to give any advice to you, I would say, Please mention the reason you broke up
Author mkultra Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 We broke up starting as a mutual thing, but mainly on my end. I didn't know what I wanted in life and she was feeling neglected because I wouldn't talk much about the future. I wasn't showing her alot of attention towards the end, and thats what she gets from the new kid, attention. She pretty much says she likes him because he gives her attention and butterflies, nothing really else to my knowledge. Of course, she says that if she gets this from me again, she'll want to come back to me, because I am the logical choice, in her mind. So idk what to do. I can't force those feelings obviously, and I think I shredded every ounce of self respect in front of her, so I don't look very valuable confidence wise. I tried reinstating that on our bowling date, which worked a little I believe. The whole irony of this situation is that now I want a future and to take the next step in life. Just perfect timing for all of this to happen.
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