tincanman99 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 This girl I have been flirting with on Friday mentioned she was going to dinner with a "friend". She actually said it a few times. As soon as I heard it I immediately assumed it was a guy and that she didnt want me to know that it was a guy. Tonight she told me she had a great time and slipped and said that the friend was a guy. I was nonplussed and kept teasing her. Correct me if I am wrong but when women speak in ambiguous language like this stuff of "friend" its usually someone they are seeing and they are playing the field? Because if this is so I wont waste any more of my time on her.
Nexus One Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Correct me if I am wrong but when women speak in ambiguous language like this stuff of "friend" its usually someone they are seeing and they are playing the field? That's possible, but it's also possible that she's trying to make you jealous in order for you to step up your game and start chasing her. Her saying it's a "friend" can be a clever way of not trying to be so obvious about it. (i.e. subtly hinting and thereby teasing you, making you grasp for more info) Or she doesn't want you to know in order to keep you on the backburner. You could be her backup guy, her second choice and she doesn't want you to know she's dating her first choice. Except she did tell you, first in a subtle way and the second time she "let it slip". You need to find out if she was actually dating that guy and if the dates with that guy are actually developing into something or not. Edited March 2, 2011 by Nexus One
y2k Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 This could be 50/50. I had a girl once fake that she had a boyfriend just so that she could get my reaction. But then again some women are freaking nuts or just plain stupid (not all but some are). So it's a tough call.
whichwayisup Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 This girl I have been flirting with on Friday mentioned she was going to dinner with a "friend". She actually said it a few times. As soon as I heard it I immediately assumed it was a guy and that she didnt want me to know that it was a guy. Tonight she told me she had a great time and slipped and said that the friend was a guy. I was nonplussed and kept teasing her. Correct me if I am wrong but when women speak in ambiguous language like this stuff of "friend" its usually someone they are seeing and they are playing the field? Because if this is so I wont waste any more of my time on her. Back off of her. She nicely told you she's not into you by using the "friend" line and also slipping that it was a guy. She doesn't want to hurt you so she hinted, hoping you'll get it.
alphamale Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Because if this is so I wont waste any more of my time on her. i wouldn't either
Wilie Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Yup, i would make myself scarce,.. not burn the bridge... but start checking out the other wildlife Cheers,Will
Movingthrough Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Yeah she is trying to do the reaction thing, if she said it more then once its usually for you to do something about it. To me, a backburner situation, she would wait a while to tell you about the guy because she wants you to stay around, she likes the attention and doesnt want you to run off. When they are throwing it in your face like that they want you to know for a reason.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Not sure what I think. She obviously likes me or the attention. She comes over many times to talk to me. The other day she sat on the floor with me when I was stretching. She has been harvesting a lot of data on me and volunteering it about herself. Told me where she lived, that she had a dog, what she likes to eath, blah, blah I have been friendly and flirtatious with her but didnt bite when she mentioned the going out with a friend. And when she slipped and told me it was a guy I didnt react. I was indifferent than too. When I left the other day, I waived good bye and didnt fawn all over her. Its very strange but its like instant comfort with her like I have known her my whole life. I am not usually like that with people. I am very attracted to her but am very hesitant. She has a great vibe and I could see myself being with her.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 time to break orbit. Can you explain?
aprilblues31 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Guys, with all due respect, don't try to decode for the poster. Women are strange..to men! If you two aren't an item, who cares what the status is with the guy friend she was having dinner with. Maybe this was her way of being truthful with you about what she was doing, without seeming like a slut. Truth is, she probably likes you but since you're not exclusive she shouldn't be expected to not date others if there's no commitment. Women just live under the double standard fear that if they're dating and trying to find a good guy, there's something wrong with that, while its socially acceptable for men to do it. This sounds like she was trying to be forthcoming with you about what she was doing in a demure way. And if you like her-then like her! Seriously do men think we women sit around waiting for someone to sweep us off our feet? Give me a break! If you really like her, ask her on a dang date and get it goin'. If not, it should be cool with you she's seeing other people if thats the case. It could really just be a friend.
bac Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 This girl I have been flirting with on Friday mentioned she was going to dinner with a "friend". She actually said it a few times. As soon as I heard it I immediately assumed it was a guy and that she didnt want me to know that it was a guy. Tonight she told me she had a great time and slipped and said that the friend was a guy. I was nonplussed and kept teasing her. Correct me if I am wrong but when women speak in ambiguous language like this stuff of "friend" its usually someone they are seeing and they are playing the field? Because if this is so I wont waste any more of my time on her. If I put so much effort in making a guy ask me out, I would be upset that it did not work out well. She put too too much effort in flirting with you. She expected you to ask her out a few moths ago. Perhaps, making you jealous is some kind of revenge.
jadedone Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Can you explain? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=orbiter
Author tincanman99 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 I lost my decoder ring... That makes two of us . I never had one to start with . Definitely not an orbiter. I am not hanging with her hoping something will happen. I flirt with her when I see her which is not too often. I dont expect her to be sitting around waiting on me. I have dated girls that had male harems including one that I found out had like 5 guys on a string. I have no interest in being in the harem .
spacekey Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 This could be 50/50. I had a girl once fake that she had a boyfriend just so that she could get my reaction. But then again some women are freaking nuts or just plain stupid (not all but some are). So it's a tough call. OP, I don't know the details of your situation, but my reaction when it gets to this kind of unclear situation (unclear not as in "potential misunderstanding", but unclear as in "potential mindf-ck") is to immediately break off the contact. These kind of women usually have bad ego or love playing with men. As the quoted guy said: They're "freaking nuts". You won't ever have a good relationship with them because their mental "base" isn't in order. They can't "stand" on their own, and because of that they have difficulties engaging in a healthy relationship.
sally4sara Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 That she was vague initially and then came out with the fact that it was a guy does seem shady. The guy could just be a friend but not being up front about it would make me wonder if I was always getting the truth too. If I say friend, I don't mean "friend" but that's me. Ask her if she is just casually dating others or if the guy is plain and simple, just a friend. It could be the guy is just a friend but her last relationship was with a guy who flipped over opposite gender friends and that had her hesitant to speak clearly on the matter.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 That she was vague initially and then came out with the fact that it was a guy does seem shady. The guy could just be a friend but not being up front about it would make me wonder if I was always getting the truth too. If I say friend, I don't mean "friend" but that's me. Ask her if she is just casually dating others or if the guy is plain and simple, just a friend. It could be the guy is just a friend but her last relationship was with a guy who flipped over opposite gender friends and that had her hesitant to speak clearly on the matter. Exactly my point. When she said friend the first time - I was like hmmm. As you said it could be a friend or a "friend" but she didnt want me to know either. Maybe she figures if I knew it was a guy I wouldnt pursue her, which I wont.
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