quietGuy13 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I see movies etc. that's the only way i've seen how people do it. But i don't really understand it. So you keep meeting a girl and going out and then one day you suddenly get the guts to say "you wanna be my gf?" is that how it works? And after how many days of meeting do you say it? Sorry, I have no experience in this. And by the way i'm not saying I'm at that point. Just a question i have.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 You NEVER ask a girl if she wants to be your girlfriend. You take her out, treat her well, make her laugh, and repeat until she asks you. Could take weeks, but its not about the title, its about how she feels about you. For her to be your girlfriend, all you have to do is treat her like one. She will bring it up to you when she feels she wants that title.
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Changing a female friend into a girlfriend? I suggest researching how to turn dirt into gold instead. For the former is more difficult.
Author quietGuy13 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Oohh ok. awesome advice. i didn't know that. So i'm just gonna try my best. Well but what if you're female friend is from another culture where they are shyer and would not ever ask?
Hopeful30 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Unless she doesn't show interest romantically right away, once you're in the friend zone, you will never get out. At least that's how I work. I can't speak for all other women. P.S By right away I mean within the first few times you hang out.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Oohh ok. awesome advice. i didn't know that. So i'm just gonna try my best. Well but what if you're female friend is from another culture where they are shyer and would not ever ask? You dont have to worry about if shes from a different culture. If you have with her, fool around with her, she might eventually ask. If she doesnt, dont worry about her, she doesnt like you that much. But She has to act like a typical girlfriend first before you have the talk about exclusivity. it doesnt work the other way around. You dont announce the relationship before you are in one.
phineas Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Every woman i've met that wanted to be my GF used sex to lock me down. Which is how it should be. GF = relationship. If she isn't sleeping with you it isn't a relationship. It's a friendship.
Nexus One Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I'll just give an alternative view here. It IS possible to start a relationship with a girl/woman that you've been friends with in the first place. It's said that couples that have been friends first and lovers later tend to have the most stable relationships, because their dynamics are built on more than just a crush/infatuation/love. Becoming lovers after having STARTED OUT as friends is different in my opinion than having been friendzoned AFTER having made clear that you want to be lovers. In the first case your options are open and nothing has been firmly established, but in the second case of getting friendzoned she clearly communicates to you that she wants to be merely friends and thus boundaries are being set.
Dante311 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Oh, the surreal, iconic cliches of the movies... turning a good female friend into a girlfriend is not an easy feat. You need to be patient and suppress your feelings as best you can. When you don't (speaking from experience) it blows up in your face. Literally. you lose a friend... or 3. But then again... if you are a friend... and she sees that.. she may develop feeling for you. One NYE... this attractive female friend (had a boyfriend) at the time... confessed she's wanted to **** me, date me, and really wanted to kiss me at midnight and not her current boyfriend... I was taken aback... =/ regardless to say... it CAN happen.
Jynxx Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 If she isn't sleeping with you it isn't a relationship. It's a friendship. Basically this Relationship = friendship + sexual tension In reality, work on the sexual tension first, as this is harder to create and almost impossible when you end up in the dreaded "friend zone".
CluelessGuy1986 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 You cant just keep taking her out unless you are fine with just being friends. Unless you kiss her you will never know. I dont agree with the statement there has to be sex to consider it more than a friendship, but there does have to be romantical interest... start with a kiss!
mtber75 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Oohh ok. awesome advice. i didn't know that. So i'm just gonna try my best. Well but what if you're female friend is from another culture where they are shyer and would not ever ask? Even if she's from another culture, she'll express her interest in different ways. Best is to let her know that you want to enter into a relationship so you don't waste your dating prowess/energy. Edited March 2, 2011 by mtber75
Mrlonelyone Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Becoming lovers after having STARTED OUT as friends is different in my opinion than having been friendzoned AFTER having made clear that you want to be lovers. In the first case your options are open and nothing has been firmly established, but in the second case of getting friendzoned she clearly communicates to you that she wants to be merely friends and thus boundaries are being set. I agree heartily with this. When the issue of friend ==> lover is discussed in forums it's assumed that romantic interest was there from the start. If one or the other of you had such interest from the start and the other rejects it that's one thing. Starting out as completely platonic friends then going to lovers is very possible and probably the most natural way for this to happen. Consider the following: For millions and millions of years humans lived in small bands of hunter gatherer's everyone more or less knew everyone and were friends (or relatives even). So every single pairing was between people who were friends first. The trick is to always keep the friendship. Don't let romantic interest mess up the friendship. Not everyone has the social ability to compartmentalize this and not be awkward once such feelings have been expressed. Always value your friendship with the person over and above romantic feelings because romantic feelings are almost always less durable than friendship.
spacekey Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 It depends on the situation: If you were romantically interested in someone and you GOT friend-zoned, then it is almost impossible to get out of it. But if you ARE friends with someone then it is possible. And friendships that turn into romantic relationships usually become very strong bonds. But you must be very careful and you should think about whether you really want to do this. You could get one of the best relationships of your life or you could lose a very good friend. But anyway, if you really want to risk this, then one thing you must never do is to tell her that you love her or something like that. Never! She could be shocked that you imagined her as something more, maybe even hurt that you "moved" the friendship to the point where it could break.
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