freeoralone7 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Do people simply never ever talk again. Im 90+% sure I will never contact her again and as every week passes I get more sure she wont either. We ended a very "loving" relationship very abruptly (due to extended long distance and she moved on within 3 days to a new boyfriend). *Side note: the boyfriend is a guy she told me about at work by telling me he looked like me. The end us terrible. She was hurtful, insulting and told me to never contact her again. It was fast and weird. I havent contacted. She has the new bf. It blows my mind that after all the feelings we supposedly shared and all the things we said that two people can just forget and move on like this. How often does thist happen where the dumpee is dedicated enough to NC and the dumper cared so little about them that they just never speak a or see each other again in their lives. I've moved on nicely but it makes something that at the time felt so significant and important in my life, now feel so insignificant and unreal. Kinda depressing.
rubyblue16 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 totally agree with you on this one , its like going from having that person there that you share everything with to never talking to them again ? it seems like waste and such a terrible loss
skydiveaddict Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 All I can tell you is that it happened to me as well
Chi townD Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I don't know...Moving on three days to a new guy after you broke up? Something was going on there. Sounds like she wasn't being truthful to you, and because of that, thank your stars that it's over.
Movingthrough Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Do people simply never ever talk again. Im 90+% sure I will never contact her again and as every week passes I get more sure she wont either. We ended a very "loving" relationship very abruptly (due to extended long distance and she moved on within 3 days to a new boyfriend). *Side note: the boyfriend is a guy she told me about at work by telling me he looked like me. The end us terrible. She was hurtful, insulting and told me to never contact her again. It was fast and weird. I havent contacted. She has the new bf. It blows my mind that after all the feelings we supposedly shared and all the things we said that two people can just forget and move on like this. How often does thist happen where the dumpee is dedicated enough to NC and the dumper cared so little about them that they just never speak a or see each other again in their lives. I've moved on nicely but it makes something that at the time felt so significant and important in my life, now feel so insignificant and unreal. Kinda depressing. Honestly this is always the million dollar question. My number one issue has been what you are saying, to go from so much of a connection...to nothing. When someone can be so "in love" with you, then move on that fast, its not normal...plain and simple. They have issues. To me this is standard, blame it all, be hurtful, then move on to someone else. The only thing i can say is good about it is when someone does the blaming, then leaves like that, it will come back around, and i can almost bet it is eating her up even if it is deep down. Mine happend the same way, and the thought of everything we had just to end like it did, its weird. It makes you feel like it was a waste of time. Like Chi said though, we are actually super lucky for dodging that bullet though..
RomoGuy Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Basically happened to me. My ex and I also became best friends and enjoyed doing ANYTHING together, drinking cheap wine, waiting at the dealership for her car.. whatever it was... we had a blast as long as were were together. She told me that I am "God's gift to her" and "the man of her dreams"... Over night she acted different and called me to meet her at the park, told me she loved me very very much, but I am not "the one"... after a bit of me questioning her about how she came to that conclusion.. she started pointing out my flaws and bogus issues... I didn't say anything but was mad at myself, begged and pleaded.. But she had made up her mind already... I told her I will be become better and make it right. At the time I wanted her in my life any way possible, and wanted to be friends with her and she said ok... texts me 2 hours later and told me she made a mistake we cant be friends, so we can both focus on what we need to do and no contact with eachother. Blocked me and all my friends on Facebook.. its been 2 months and I have not tried or attempted to contact her... Found out she has a new boyfriend. And all of a sudden the breakup and how everything went down makes sense... Luckily I got blamed and insulted so to speak during the breakup, but didn't fire back at her at all... which I'm soo glad about... Its got to eat them up inside. Unless their not human.... hmmmmm
callsign Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Do people simply never ever talk again. Im 90+% sure I will never contact her again and as every week passes I get more sure she wont either. We ended a very "loving" relationship very abruptly (due to extended long distance and she moved on within 3 days to a new boyfriend). *Side note: the boyfriend is a guy she told me about at work by telling me he looked like me. The end us terrible. She was hurtful, insulting and told me to never contact her again. It was fast and weird. I havent contacted. She has the new bf. It blows my mind that after all the feelings we supposedly shared and all the things we said that two people can just forget and move on like this. How often does thist happen where the dumpee is dedicated enough to NC and the dumper cared so little about them that they just never speak a or see each other again in their lives. I've moved on nicely but it makes something that at the time felt so significant and important in my life, now feel so insignificant and unreal. Kinda depressing. I know what you mean. Same thing has come up with me. My girlfriend met someone on Facebook, another girl, and now her friend s all she talks about. All of a sudden, I wasthe best thing that ever happened to her and now I'm dirt because I was a bit jealous.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 if you read around this site in the breakups section, it happens constantly. What you didnt notice was she was checking out of the relationship months before she broke it off. As your relationship went on, she was slowly turned off to you for whatever reason. Could be your fault, could be hers. You couldve been a rebound. She kept you around so she wouldnt be alone until the next guy she liked came along. Of course she doesnt tell you this. Then when she finally gets things going with the new guy, she breaks it off with you, and cuts you off completely. She can go without talking to you because by the time she breaks it off, she is sick of you, and is relieved to not have to get away from you and start the new relationship. It wasnt 3 days later, it started before yours ended. Thats how it works. It happens all the time. Its the swinging monkey dater. Doesnt let go of one vine until the next one shows up.
callsign Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Basically happened to me. My ex and I also became best friends and enjoyed doing ANYTHING together, drinking cheap wine, waiting at the dealership for her car.. whatever it was... we had a blast as long as were were together. She told me that I am "God's gift to her" and "the man of her dreams"... Over night she acted different and called me to meet her at the park, told me she loved me very very much, but I am not "the one"... after a bit of me questioning her about how she came to that conclusion.. she started pointing out my flaws and bogus issues... I didn't say anything but was mad at myself, begged and pleaded.. But she had made up her mind already... I told her I will be become better and make it right. At the time I wanted her in my life any way possible, and wanted to be friends with her and she said ok... texts me 2 hours later and told me she made a mistake we cant be friends, so we can both focus on what we need to do and no contact with eachother. Blocked me and all my friends on Facebook.. its been 2 months and I have not tried or attempted to contact her... Found out she has a new boyfriend. And all of a sudden the breakup and how everything went down makes sense... Luckily I got blamed and insulted so to speak during the breakup, but didn't fire back at her at all... which I'm soo glad about... Its got to eat them up inside. Unless their not human.... hmmmmm I know where your coming from. I've heard the same things. Best thing that ever happened to her, and now it seems like its falling apart. Some people are like that. They just don;t care about anyone elses pain but their own.
timchambo Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 was having a down day, hell a down week. This is pretty much how mine ended after 7 years. She got done working her latest gig and wanted a break. I find out shes spending hours in the middle of the night talking to a new guy. Thats when I told her I am not waiting around for her. Her response, "I'm not in love anymore". Just weeks prior she was most definitely as she was doing things she instinctively did for/to me. This guy she met about 3 weeks before split. I am sure she had desires to test the dating scene for a while, but knew we had a good thing. Once someone compatible came up she gave the ring back and left. The most painful thing I have ever been through. She had since texted me every week or two with no reply. I put an end to it because it was just dragging me along and stunting my healing process. I noticed after I ignored her texts she did start pursuing the new guy even more. Hard for me not to regret the immediate NC. Don't get me wrong, before the NC I met with her in person several times to feel out what she was feeling. Once I knew she was going through with the break regardless, I had to start moving on. Reading this helped me for a minute tonight. I highly doubt she spends a lot of time thinking about me. She did indicate the break was hard on her too, and she think of me everyday. The most painful thing is that even though I was verrry good to her (too good to be honest), she is now telling mutual friends what we had wasn't as good as it seemed. She even said in her final email that we were in love one summer long time ago, but through the years became best friends. I hope she realizes that is how relationships work. I don't think she is being honest with herself if she thinks she hasn't been in love for years...if that is what she was trying to say. It seemed like her final email was almost a very vindictive good bye, and I don't know why after all I did for her. when I think back I think maybe she was testing the waters and testing her love for me. This new guy gave her that spark again and made what we had seem less than. I look at what we had as mature love. I tried my best to do things just the two of us, special things, when we had the chance. In the end she was working a lot and there would be a month or two at a time that our schedules conflicted a bit and made that a challenge. If only she would have talked about this seriously before leaving for the new guy. What we had was truly special per everyone we knew. All friends and family are still in shock over 2 months later. God bless her, but I can't be her friend the way she ended it. NC from here out. She knows how to get ahold of me and the only thing I ever care to hear is "I was young, stupid and I am sorry". Not looking for a second chance, as I need to heal fully before I could ever consider something like that. By then I hope to have someone new who can meet halfway and treat me right. To a better 2011 fellas
Author freeoralone7 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 if you read around this site in the breakups section, it happens constantly. What you didnt notice was she was checking out of the relationship months before she broke it off. As your relationship went on, she was slowly turned off to you for whatever reason. Could be your fault, could be hers. You couldve been a rebound. She kept you around so she wouldnt be alone until the next guy she liked came along. Of course she doesnt tell you this. Then when she finally gets things going with the new guy, she breaks it off with you, and cuts you off completely. She can go without talking to you because by the time she breaks it off, she is sick of you, and is relieved to not have to get away from you and start the new relationship. It wasnt 3 days later, it started before yours ended. Thats how it works. It happens all the time. Its the swinging monkey dater. Doesnt let go of one vine until the next one shows up. I know for a fact that nothing was really going on between them (at most flirting at work for 1 week) before this happened. She didnt know him or have his number even till a few days before we broke up.
Author freeoralone7 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Also about the cereal dater. She wasnt one she hadnt been in a relationship for more than a year. also a lot of your responses are of people saying they were broken up with abruptly for another person. OOr that the person said they didnt love them anymore. Or that the dumper said it was difficult on them too. FOr me there was nothing said. She never said anything to me. When I found out about the bf (like 6 days after break up and 3 days into her new relationship) she responded by insulting me. That was it. Thats how it is left, the end is insults for no reason. It was like a snap of the fingers. No talking about the relationship or the end or closure. Just an insult and telling me to not call again.
usagi Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 How often does thist happen where the dumpee is dedicated enough to NC and the dumper cared so little about them that they just never speak a or see each other again in their lives. All the time. My ex from when I was 19/20 and I have never spoken since we broke up, that was 15 years ago. I never even think about her (in answering your question I obviously have but would estimate that's the 1st time in 4+ years). Don't worry; you'll get be heart broken again over someone else entirely new!
Sugarkane Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 All the time. My ex from when I was 19/20 and I have never spoken since we broke up, that was 15 years ago. I never even think about her (in answering your question I obviously have but would estimate that's the 1st time in 4+ years). Don't worry; you'll get be heart broken again over someone else entirely new! Unfortunately this seems to be true! My first/ high school bf dumped me out of the blue, replaced 5 minutes later. He never bothered to speak to me again. I was devasted and we had several classes together! I guess he was so happy in his new relationship, thats all he cared about. Now fast forward to last year and the same bloody thing happens again. But just to make it worse, my ex was completely hostile to me. I'm not usually a gambler, but I bet my money on that my latest ex cheated on me, for quite some time. Is there anyway to avoid this from happening? I wish to god that someone would cheat on my ex, see how it feels for once.
Sugarkane Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Also about the cereal dater. She wasnt one she hadnt been in a relationship for more than a year. also a lot of your responses are of people saying they were broken up with abruptly for another person. OOr that the person said they didnt love them anymore. Or that the dumper said it was difficult on them too. FOr me there was nothing said. She never said anything to me. When I found out about the bf (like 6 days after break up and 3 days into her new relationship) she responded by insulting me. That was it. Thats how it is left, the end is insults for no reason. It was like a snap of the fingers. No talking about the relationship or the end or closure. Just an insult and telling me to not call again. EXACTLY the same thing happened to me. I feel like I wrote this myself.
Sugarkane Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Why can't these cowards just be honest that they were cheating all along?
Chi townD Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Also about the cereal dater. She wasnt one she hadnt been in a relationship for more than a year. also a lot of your responses are of people saying they were broken up with abruptly for another person. OOr that the person said they didnt love them anymore. Or that the dumper said it was difficult on them too. FOr me there was nothing said. She never said anything to me. When I found out about the bf (like 6 days after break up and 3 days into her new relationship) she responded by insulting me. That was it. Thats how it is left, the end is insults for no reason. It was like a snap of the fingers. No talking about the relationship or the end or closure. Just an insult and telling me to not call again. Yep, doesn't want to face up to the fact that SHE did you wrong and now you were calling her out on it. Look, I can't say she was cheating on you or wasn't. My money is on it that she was. If she wasn't. she was definately into this guy and had the case of the GIGS. I'd go completely NC on her. I have a feeling that this new relationship isn't gonna last. Don't hook back up with her. No one wants to be someones second choice.
depplover_1980 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 After reading all the similar stories as well as the OP, literally the main solace is that you are now rid of an unreliable person who didn't respect you enough - long term we all deserve and are looking for better than that - so please keep it in mind at all times.
depplover_1980 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 And why do these people never seem to regret it? Because some of us have a conscience and some of us are built with the ability to be really selfish. I'm glad I am the first, i'd rather get hurt occasionally than hurt others.
Sugarkane Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I don't want to be cynical, but its too late. Don't you just want to tell them that you hope the next person will do exactly the same thing, they did to us, to them?
SunsetRed Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Every ex I've ever had has contacted me again after doing NC. That being said, I've never had the relationship return to what it was but that was mainly because by the time they contacted me I'd moved on and saw that they weren't right for me anyway. BTW,,have fun with college while you can. You're basically living with hundreds/thousands of people your own age, including people of the opposite sex. Once you get out in the real world it is harder to meet people, so dont waste your time on one girl who didn't treat you very well.
Author freeoralone7 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 Every ex I've ever had has contacted me again after doing NC. That being said, I've never had the relationship return to what it was but that was mainly because by the time they contacted me I'd moved on and saw that they weren't right for me anyway. BTW,,have fun with college while you can. You're basically living with hundreds/thousands of people your own age, including people of the opposite sex. Once you get out in the real world it is harder to meet people, so dont waste your time on one girl who didn't treat you very well. How long before they contacted. In the past ive been the one to contact. If she did contact me ive already got to the stage where i see they werent right for me etc. But as the time passes I wonder mroe and more about the significance/insignificants of a relationship that at the time I was full on into. As for college, I'm done with college and have been for a couple of years now. Im still having the time of my life and serounded by beautiful women so thats not my worry. The thing that gets me is that she can so easily forget and move on and never speak another word to me. It's depressing in-and-of itself.
lovnlost Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 was having a down day, hell a down week. This is pretty much how mine ended after 7 years. She got done working her latest gig and wanted a break. I find out shes spending hours in the middle of the night talking to a new guy. Thats when I told her I am not waiting around for her. Her response, "I'm not in love anymore". Just weeks prior she was most definitely as she was doing things she instinctively did for/to me. This guy she met about 3 weeks before split. I am sure she had desires to test the dating scene for a while, but knew we had a good thing. Once someone compatible came up she gave the ring back and left. The most painful thing I have ever been through. She had since texted me every week or two with no reply. I put an end to it because it was just dragging me along and stunting my healing process. I noticed after I ignored her texts she did start pursuing the new guy even more. Hard for me not to regret the immediate NC. Don't get me wrong, before the NC I met with her in person several times to feel out what she was feeling. Once I knew she was going through with the break regardless, I had to start moving on. Reading this helped me for a minute tonight. I highly doubt she spends a lot of time thinking about me. She did indicate the break was hard on her too, and she think of me everyday. The most painful thing is that even though I was verrry good to her (too good to be honest), she is now telling mutual friends what we had wasn't as good as it seemed. She even said in her final email that we were in love one summer long time ago, but through the years became best friends. I hope she realizes that is how relationships work. I don't think she is being honest with herself if she thinks she hasn't been in love for years...if that is what she was trying to say. It seemed like her final email was almost a very vindictive good bye, and I don't know why after all I did for her. when I think back I think maybe she was testing the waters and testing her love for me. This new guy gave her that spark again and made what we had seem less than. I look at what we had as mature love. I tried my best to do things just the two of us, special things, when we had the chance. In the end she was working a lot and there would be a month or two at a time that our schedules conflicted a bit and made that a challenge. If only she would have talked about this seriously before leaving for the new guy. What we had was truly special per everyone we knew. All friends and family are still in shock over 2 months later. God bless her, but I can't be her friend the way she ended it. NC from here out. She knows how to get ahold of me and the only thing I ever care to hear is "I was young, stupid and I am sorry". Not looking for a second chance, as I need to heal fully before I could ever consider something like that. By then I hope to have someone new who can meet halfway and treat me right. To a better 2011 fellas Right on man....heres to ya....Im 1 month into a NC for many of the same reasons everyone described here. However, the word cheating is flawed. People still think that you have to touch someone to make it official....it seems to be emotionally at first as in my case. She was waiting for ex husband to say the right thing even after a year of making her feel like ass...but with the kids involved...well....se la vi. I will do my best not to say a word. And move on. So...I say again....cheers. You you ladies as well.
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