loves Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I was with this guy for 6 years, we were madly in love .. I moved 5 hours away from him and we barely seen eachother 4 years into our relationship .. September 2010 we officially ended it but yet 2 months later we continue talking through email & he had a girlfriend the whole time while still talking to me .. He was telling me how she is boring and how all girls are boring and none are like me & how he wants to have kids with me and get married & how when he's married he will still think of me .. He told me he thinks of be all the time & how it's even harder knowing how i'm a virgin (keeping it until marriage ) .. He also asked me to just see him and all that .. called me and told me he loved me about 10 times before hanging up .. I knew about her but she didn't know anything about me .. yesterday i messaged her and told her everything about what he has been saying to me and how he still keeps in contact with me .. He must have covered his act good considering i didn't get a reply .. He called me after that and i hung up on him & then i wrote him an email and he didn't reply back .. Any ideas of why guys do this? .. Or any similar stories/ situations .. I really do miss him .. i've been with him since i was 16 and i'm now 22 .. Does he care for this girl or just because she's there and im not? .. Will he ever talk to me again ? - i told him a friendship is fine and that i would just want that to begin with .. it's like he can't be friends with me or his feelings will come back? .. i'm very hurt .. i feel like i dont wanna do anything besides cry but im a strong person
hopeful4someday Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Ask yourself this: do you really want to be with a guy who is that disrespectful to his partner (i.e., talking to you like he was while maintaining a relationship with her) anyway? Seriously, if he doesn't like her he has no business being with her. If he can't man up and deal with it, he isn't worth any woman's time, yours included. Why did you drift apart when you moved away? Weren't you worth his time to make the effort to go see you? I suspect he's just idealizing things with you because he's unhappy with her, and if he were in a relationship with you he'd be complaining to someone else. He seriously sounds like he has some issues with himself, is one of those guys who says "I love you" not because he means it but because he wants attention, and needs to grow up. You met him young, and he's probably a big chunk of who you've known as a potential mate, and it can be scary leaving the security of that and going out alone again and putting your emotions on the line again with someone new. That being said, I think it's worth it. There are a lot of other guys out there who are probably much more capable of being what you really want and need than this guy. Give 'em a chance.
depplover_1980 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I concur with the great advice already given to you. If this guy really cared about you he would have done anything to keep your relationship together, but he hasn't. It sounds to me like he is deeply insecure and loves to be idolised and have attention in order to feel good - but by being this way he hurts the victims in his path to self absorbed world! I realise you're young and he's your first love, but he doesn't have to be your only love and believe me you will find someone better. What you need to do is assess what things you did like about him and date looking for the traits compatible to you, though you'll automatically know if you click with a new guy. You must give your new life a chance and let go, which you'll need to do eventually, so you may as well do it now.
SoleMate Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 This man has done nothing for you, please drop him and move on. You deserve a 1:1 relationship with a REAL man. REAL man == a man who tells the same story to every woman he talks to.
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