Whipple Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I don't really want to get into the debate of whether or not people can be platonic friends with the opposite sex because there is no definite answer. I just want to hear opinions on my situation. My boyfriend of a few months has a lot of friends that are girls. He was upfront about that with me on our first date. Recently, he told me that in the past when he was single and attracted to one of his friends and vice versa, they would sometimes be sexually active with each other. I don't know how I should feel about this. A couple of months ago, one of his friends came down to visit him. I found out later that he had a complicated dating history with her. But he flat out told me (I didn't even ask him) that when she visited, they did not do anything physical. He said that they "hung out like regular friends." He's a really honest guy and just as I explained in my example, he's generally very blunt and forthcoming without me ever needing to prompt, question, or pry things out of him. I really want to trust him but at the same time, I'm worried. I don't know exactly what I'm worried about. Maybe I'm worried that he's going to cheat on me. Maybe I'm worried that one of his friends will tempt him. I don't know how often he communicates with some of these girls that he's had a sexually history with. FWIW, he's only had sex with 3 partners prior to me so it's not like he's screwing every friend he has when he's single. Thoughts?
Fondue Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 From what I see, he's an honest guy. The way you describe this gentleman is that he's brutally honest. He has no reason to lie to you. Besides, he already told you how many sexual partners he has had. Most men are "proud" of the notches on their belt. He doesn't have many of them. With that said, he probably has very little sexual chance with his friends because he simply isn't a "player." It makes sense in my head, hopefully it makes sense when you read it. And yes, just like women can have male friends, men can have female friends. No need to be really worried about it. I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.
Datura Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 The operative word here is history. If he tells you it's over and done with, and gives you no reason to be suspicious, believe him.
carhill Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Does he have a lot of friends who are guys? After a couple months of dating, me exW and I had met a fair amount of each other's friends, as well as family, which was pretty consistent with my past R's. How's that going with you? How many of his friends have you shook hands with? Any on the 'past sexual partner but now friend' list? How old are you and he? What kind of relationship are you looking for? Do you feel you've fully healed from your breakup?
Author Whipple Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Does he have a lot of friends who are guys? After a couple months of dating, me exW and I had met a fair amount of each other's friends, as well as family, which was pretty consistent with my past R's. How's that going with you? How many of his friends have you shook hands with? Any on the 'past sexual partner but now friend' list? How old are you and he? What kind of relationship are you looking for? Do you feel you've fully healed from your breakup?To answer your questions... Yes, he also has a lot of friends that are guys. I've met some of his friends, but none of the "past sexual partners but now friends." Actually, none of these past partners live locally. The closest one is a few hundred miles away. We're both in our late 20s. I'm looking for a serious LTR and so is he. I feel that I'm healed from my last relationship, however, it ended horribly due to him pining after another girl and placing me on the backburner despite being together for a couple of years. I'm still really sensitive regarding the issue of someone doing stuff behind my back. I guess I'm not completely healed?
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