Bluebelle38 Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Hi guys, have been on this site since I found it following being dumped by a commitment-phobic bachelor that has picked me up and dropped me on and off for 8 years (good few years in that time when we weren't in contact). We got back together again (long distance) 8 months ago and I thought finally things are working out... grandiose gestures of holdiays (to the caribbean no less), weekends away, meeting new friends, took me to his friend's wedding, christmas with his family... And then bang, when it all got a bit too real I was dumped from a height, god what a height. I couldn't believe it. Well, i could really... it isnt like he hadn't done it before. But it was worse this time because I had met his family again, spent days with them, was made to feel so welcome... I got the loveliest presents, i put so much thought into theirs. We all sat up late chatting, laughing... So fast forward to my being dumped by text. To be told 'let's face it, we didnt really get along, we had some great times but it isn't really there for me'. There were a few more texts (he wouldnt take my call) basically crushing me. Oh, I remained dignified, I never begged. I went into NC and spoke, cried to friends who told me that he is a fool. That the chemistry between us was electric; that we bounced off each other... blah blah. And yes, it is true which is what hurt the most. I am 38, I know chemistry when I see it/feel it. No-one offers financial help to someone they dont get on with (I lost my job in december) or flies from one country to another every 3 weeks for 7 months.... But anyway... so time went on and I kept up NC until about a week ago. I was in the country he lives (my best friend lives there too) and I text him about having a proper goodbye. To be honest, I'd had a few glasses of wine and thought it was a good idea (aaarrrrrgggh). Well he replied, all well and good that he would have but was working the next day and lives an hour away. Fair enough. The banter continued throughout the next day. We didn't meet up. OK, so I get home and am thinking more about things... no contact though. I had been feeling this surge of anger building (that he could be all jokey in texts etc despite saying what he did to me 6 weeks ago). I had always been very kind to him saying if he didn't feel it then he was right to end it and all the best etc etc... but he was so cold and nasty - you'd have thought i had done the dirt on him, I didn't, never would have, but you'd have hought I must have done something horrific to deserve the treatment i received. OK, two days ago i decided that this 'man' has done nothing but lead me on for YEARS and treat me like sh/t when I have been nothing but loving, faithful and kind to him. he knows I am sensitive (he knows me inside out truth be told), which is what makes his treatment even worse. I snapped then. I was suddenly fuming. I decided that this was it. Time for me to take back control of my life, to build up my self esteem and never accept such pathetic crumbs of affection again. I sent him a message. I told him that I think he is a cruel man, that he had no right inviting me to spend Christmas with his family if he didnt feel 'it' [he knew I had other places to go, no problem]. I told him that if it hadn't been for my upbringing [i had an absolutely rotten childhood] I would never had tolerated such behaviour from him. I finished by saying I never want to see his face again. Well, my God. It felt incredible. I'm not one of those people that enjoys conflict or creates it but this had to be sent. Today I signed up for a web design course, I went for a walk with a friend and I have not looked back. I see a future for myself... My life begins now... finally. Never again will I let that cowardly excuse of a man make me question my self worth. I am all for NC but sometimes, just sometimes, breaking it can be the best thing you ever did. I have not stopped smiling Thanks everyone. I never posted much, but reading all your stories inspired me to get through it. Best wishes to you all in your healing. Wishing you all the very best. BB xxx
brneyedgrl Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Congrats!!!! Sometimes giving them a piece of your mind is just the therapy we need:-)
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