eerie_reverie Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 (edited) My aunt has this friend back home in her country who has a son living a couple hours away. The other day, she called to let me know that she'd volunteered me for showing him around this city. "He's not just someone," she said. "He's 28, has a PhD, and wants to start a family. Whatever you do," she added, "don't take him to a bar." I had never expressed any desire for a relationship to my relatives, and this caught me off guard. I was so confused by what was happening, I missed my chance to object. Now, I am torn. The 28 part and the PhD part sound appealing. If it were a regular blind dinner date, I'd be excited. But what if I don't like him? He's from my country, grew up there, which likely means we'll have nothing in common - I'm as Americanized as they come, and it's a totally different culture. And whenever I hear, "looking to start a family," I get creeped out. A whole day playing tour guide seems like a big commitment, especially if I'm not even allowed to drink on the job. What would you do? Edited March 1, 2011 by eerie_reverie
johan Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I have to say, I've learned quite a lot about being in relationships... what to do and say... what not to do or say.. While none have worked out so far, I think the ground is fertile.
heartshaped Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Personally, when I'm single, I'm all about taking chances. You never know if some random guy is going to end up being the guy for you. Yes, all day does sound like a huge commitment, but if you meet him and you aren't into him you can always come up with some excuse like you aren't feeling well and want to go home and lay down or that have one of your friends call you and act like you have to go help them with something. Basically, the same way you get out of a regular date you aren't enjoying you could do the same. If you wanted to, you could even tell the guy that you are very busy so you can't spare a lot of time, but could go for a few hours. It doesn't have to be an all day thing.
johan Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Just go and have fun. Don't think of it as a date... although if you don't happen to like the guy so much, then you're stuck with him all day. Actually, it's probably better not to schedule an entire day with someone of the opposite sex who is supposedly dating material. If there's no chemistry, or worse if it's one-sided chemistry, it's going to be a slog. Vi govoritye pa-Russkie? Or does he speak English?
january2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I agree. just do it. I think your head is already making this a bigger deal than it is. I'm not partial to introductions via relatives either but sometimes, you do have to just put yourself out there. If nothing else, if he's that hideous, you've got a good story to tell about that PhD guy.
Author eerie_reverie Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 Just go and have fun. Don't think of it as a date... although if you don't happen to like the guy so much, then you're stuck with him all day. Actually, it's probably better not to schedule an entire day with someone of the opposite sex who is supposedly dating material. If there's no chemistry, or worse if it's one-sided chemistry, it's going to be a slog. Vi govoritye pa-Russkie? Or does he speak English? My aunt assured me that he speaks English. The thing is, I can't just ditch him after an hour or two if I'm not feelin in. It's like a 3 hour drive.
johan Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 My aunt assured me that he speaks English. The thing is, I can't just ditch him after an hour or two if I'm not feelin in. It's like a 3 hour drive. Another option is to invite some others along. If there are four of you, two guys and two girls, then you can let the others help out and give you some time to check him out from afar.
Author eerie_reverie Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 Another option is to invite some others along. If there are four of you, two guys and two girls, then you can let the others help out and give you some time to check him out from afar. I thought of that, but I don't have any couple friends or girl friends.
Imajerk17 Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Look at it like this. It's only one day and you might have a great time. If you don't, well it's still only one day. Beforehand you can always start the date later in the day or you can set an end-time earlier ("I made plans to meet with some friends later on that day") so you're really only committed to several hours.
betsssssy Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Don't do it. I've been on 1-hour bad dates that seemed to last a lifetime. I can't imagine if they'd been the entire day. Wait until there's an opportunity to meet him in a lower-stress situation. If that doesn't happen, I wouldn't risk it.
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