Mystery Man Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 There's a girl in my Salsa club that I have danced and chatted with a lot duribg the last six months. She's very nice, very friendly and we have a lot of common interests. I have never really considered asking her out before because i suspected she was like 28 years old or something....still a bit on the young side for me who is 40. Funny, but we never discussed age and most people think I'm 35 tops. Asked her out this evening and she happily accepted. But then, when I finally knew her full name, I checked her up on Facebook and to my shock and horror...she's only 23!!!! I can't believe it! Not that she looks "old" but she's very mature and "low key" in comparison to other girls of her age! I'm actually quite dissapointed...she's so nice and our conversations are really interesting....What a luxure problem eh?
ShatteredReality Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Does she knwo how old you are? I don't see a problem here. I mean...there will be some issues in different generations perhaps...You will talk about movies and TV shows before her time yadda yadda...but mostly age gaps are only as much of an issue as you make of them. I actually JUST SAID this on another thread...funny....but my mom and dad were 17yrs apart...it wasn't the age that parted them - it was his abuse. My stepdad and my mom are 11yrs apart. My in laws were 12 yrs apart...My sister and her H are 7yrs apart...here's the best kicker...and this one was a bit much for even me...my step mom was 28 yrs younger than my dad...he died two years ago....I would say that is the biggest drag - the bigger the space the more chance there is for one being left behind.
mtber75 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 There's a girl in my Salsa club that I have danced and chatted with a lot duribg the last six months. She's very nice, very friendly and we have a lot of common interests. I have never really considered asking her out before because i suspected she was like 28 years old or something....still a bit on the young side for me who is 40. Funny, but we never discussed age and most people think I'm 35 tops. Asked her out this evening and she happily accepted. But then, when I finally knew her full name, I checked her up on Facebook and to my shock and horror...she's only 23!!!! I can't believe it! Not that she looks "old" but she's very mature and "low key" in comparison to other girls of her age! I'm actually quite dissapointed...she's so nice and our conversations are really interesting....What a luxure problem eh? Good problem to have I guess? But it can be disappointing that your looking for a long term/serious and girls that age will almost always NOT look into anything serious:( But doesn't hurt to go out with her!
BelieveInUs Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Hey Mystery Man: If your new girlfriend is 23 and you are 40, don't you think that is a little too far south of the border. Stick with someone who is 30 or over and I am sure you will find someone who is mature and know who she is and what she wants. Why do you want to mess with a kiddie girl as oppose to a full grown woman. I hope you make the right decision. Take care. Sincerely, BelieveInUs One of the Man
Cee Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Sometimes age differences aren't that big of a deal. My boyfriend is much younger than me (17 years - he's 24) and has commented that he and I are unconventional people. And then he asked me if I wanted to be like everybody else and I said, "Hell no." If she's interested in you, why not give it a shot? I don't understand why people are finding reasons to get in the way of their own happiness. Being unconventional can be a blessing. It means that you can follow your heart, not the prescriptions of a faceless majority. And if anybody were to judge you, you should ask them how much they enjoy sleeping alone.
Author Mystery Man Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 Thank you all for your support! I'll go on the date and try to make it fun but I won't pursue her after that. While I agree that age shouldn't be the deciding factor the latin dance scene here is somewhat limited and I'm afraid other viable ladies wil regard me as a creep if word gets aroun that I date "minors" It's a shame though! First lady I've met that thinks the perfect holiday is to spend a couple of weeks on a camel back travelling through Rajastahn. My perfect holiday also!
fishtaco Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 That's too bad. In Los Angeles there is unsurprisingly quite a large Latin dance scene. But I guess word gets around anyway. My dating style is different from yours. I'd do it anyway. Even if things don't work out eventually and word gets around, I'd consider this a badge of honor. So when I hit on a 37 year old woman next, she'd be like... wow this guy dates 23 year olds, I must look young! Or at least I'd steer her in that direction. Gotta use what you have to your advantage.
baguette Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 It's just a date, what's the big deal? Expect incompatibilities to surface, but why listen to people here instead of finding out for yourself?
ShatteredReality Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Thank you all for your support! I'll go on the date and try to make it fun but I won't pursue her after that. While I agree that age shouldn't be the deciding factor the latin dance scene here is somewhat limited and I'm afraid other viable ladies wil regard me as a creep if word gets aroun that I date "minors" It's a shame though! First lady I've met that thinks the perfect holiday is to spend a couple of weeks on a camel back travelling through Rajastahn. My perfect holiday also! If you have a good time why wouldn't you pursue it futher? She's not jailbait for crying out loud - she's an adult and she can choose who to date and who not to - age is only as important as you make it out to be. When I was 21 when I would speak to people who couldn't see my obvious baby face I was generally guessed at 35. Life experience and different cirumstances age us all mentally differently. You might be pleasantly surprized...what if she's walking about in that 23 yo body (nice) but has the mind of a 35yo?? You will turn your back on that because of some perceived stigma you MIGHT get from dating her? Mystery - you have attracted the attention of a beautiful young woman...have fun, enjoy your time with her, don't put too much pressure on the age thing or whether you should or should not pursue it!!
Cee Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 That's too bad. In Los Angeles there is unsurprisingly quite a large Latin dance scene. But I guess word gets around anyway. My dating style is different from yours. I'd do it anyway. Even if things don't work out eventually and word gets around, I'd consider this a badge of honor. So when I hit on a 37 year old woman next, she'd be like... wow this guy dates 23 year olds, I must look young! Or at least I'd steer her in that direction. Gotta use what you have to your advantage. I second fishtaco on that one. I dated a man who was 38 when I was 23 (yeah, I've dated older and younger). We broke up and eventually he went on to marry a woman who was at least 15 years younger than him. He ended up becoming a first time father at age 52. And he's a very happy man. By being open to dating people you are attracted to regardless of age (well, legal), you increase your possibilities considerably. Have a great date. Will there be dancing?
Author Mystery Man Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Thank you Cee! No dancing on our date, we dance a lot anyways!
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