shiddle Posted March 29, 2004 Posted March 29, 2004 Hey guys, I'm having a horrible time dealing with some things right now and was hoping that I could get some advice from some of you. Here's the situation: My girlfriend were dating for about 10 months, the past couple we were fighting a bit, mostly because I was being selfish and needy and trying to get her to keep putting more and more into the relationship (emotionally). So the fights were getting to be too much and things were probably about to end so we decided to take a couple days apart and not talk to each other. A couple days later at 5 in the morning she called me crying telling me that she had gone out the night before, had a few drinks, and slept with another guy. We talked and her being very sincere about what she did and how she wants to be with me made me decide to try to work things out. The next couple weeks for me were very tough, I didn't trust her and I was very emotionally needy. She apparantly couldn't take it and told me that she needed a break. Now two months after everything we still aren't back together, she says that she's not ready to be in a relationship. I'm crushed by this, I'm madly in love with this girl and only want to be with her, but for some reason she can't be with me now. She says that the feelings are there for her, but she's putting them aside right now. She says she sees a future with me, but she doesn't want to settle down right now. Neither of us want to not contact the other because of one good thing that came out of this break, we've realized that we really are best friends. Right now we're trying to have limited contact, but its just so hard. I don't know what to do right now. I know that if we don't contact each other I'm losing a friend and a potential reunion for us, but at the same time I can't continue with the feelings that I have for her. To add to it all she's graduating college in a little over a month and she plans on moving home... 300 miles away. Not that I have a problem with a long distance relationship, its the fear that after the distance is there I don't really see the possibility of us getting back together. Basically here's where I need some advice... What shold I do? I'm really clueless - I don't know what the best thing to do is here. And is there anything that I can do to help her get though this so that we can possibly get back on track? I'm really confused... thanks for any advice.
journey3 Posted March 29, 2004 Posted March 29, 2004 I'm sorry your so hurt, but I think you have to let her go, & as the famous saying goes "if it's meant to be, she'll come back & if it's not she won't" I also feel you could take some time to heal your own self/feelings from her night out. It's probably not what you wanted hear, but that what sounds like what needs to be done to me. Good Luck! Kathy
Arabess Posted March 29, 2004 Posted March 29, 2004 I don't know if you HAVE any options. If she doesn't wish to rekindle the relationship and is making plans to move 300 miles away.....then what can you do?? Once you've told her how you feel there isn't anything left but to wait for a response. He response was that she was moving. Welcome to the world of the broken hearted. You'll be miserable awhile, but in time, it gets better. Maybe you can stay friends with her....keep up on the news going on in each other's life. One day, you may even get back together. However, you can't live your whole life hanging on to a 'what if'. You are a young man who needs to get on with his life. Only for awhile will you feel like this is the only person in the world for you. That feeling passes as you get out and meet other people. Take care of yourself and post when you can.
Recommended Posts