whathurtsthemost Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Help! I met this girl... I was at a Karoke bar, she was with her 3 friends, and when I got up to sing, I asked for her name. When I sat back down, she called me over and we got chatting. She asked me to come along with her and her friends. I did. Towards the end of the night lost sight of each other and that was that. Met her next day, got her number, set up a date. Went to a local bar and hung out and got to know each other. She tells me she is a period of transition and prefers to be by herself than in a bad relationship. I guess she had a bad experience but later I find out she and her last ex finished 2009. Follow up with her, she is quite chatty, get another date yesterday. She mimics my body language across the table, really smiley, occassional stares with the eyes and then looking away, blushes but we didnt touch physically. Then we got on the whole "single talk" thing, which was probably a bad move - she tells me "I must be honest, if you think this could be romantic I dont want you to get that impression" or something of the sort - BLOW - I say hey, "ok, no problem" and then affirmed that I realize I was kind of concerned that she was just getting on her feet here in a new country. During those type of conversations she has repeatedly mentioned that it has "taken her time to get to where she is now" and doesnt want a bad relationship to ruin that, bla bla bla.. But I am nearly certain I saw attraction signals. Anyway, so I drop her off and she says with a smile beaming on her face (before drop off as we are walking to car) that she feels great and is having a great time... ???? Later I email her, saying that yes I do have some feelings for her, not the friendly type, and that I too had a bad experience etc and wanted to take it slow but now that she has told me this I will respect her decision. I tell her that if she needs anything or gets stuck to call me and I will help her out - but I didnt indicate friendship as such and I wish her well on her new life here in this country. SOOO... I really like this girl - but I dont know what to read into this - There were attraction signals but I got rejected on the second date. She is 27. On the first date she told me she didnt know why she was meeting me but she trusted me and didnt know why. Is she too hurt? What the hell do I do?
lululucy Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 If she is interested in you romantically, let her respond to the email. Don't try to change her mind and don't make any more moves -- you told her where you stand. Maybe she was just saying those things to protect her feelings, maybe she genuinely doesn't want to go anywhere romantic with you. You can't make her want to be with you so just wait and see, but don't pine over her. Give her a week to respond and then move on to someone who isn't so damaged she can't conceive of a healthy relationship existing for her.
mo mo Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 She wants you. She's just pulling your chain just to see how badly you want her. Girls do that. Anyone that tells you different is either deluded or lying. Your next step would be to lay down some pipe.
mo mo Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I like how no one challenged me. Glad that everyone understands who the boss is.
Author whathurtsthemost Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 If she is interested in you romantically, let her respond to the email. Don't try to change her mind and don't make any more moves -- you told her where you stand. Maybe she was just saying those things to protect her feelings, maybe she genuinely doesn't want to go anywhere romantic with you. You can't make her want to be with you so just wait and see, but don't pine over her. Give her a week to respond and then move on to someone who isn't so damaged she can't conceive of a healthy relationship existing for her. Thank you for your advice... She has emailed me back but firmly putting us in the "friends" category... Not that I really ever offered it to her... She wants to hang out sometime... Wish this were simpler
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