sjguy Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Hey, I'm a college male and I've never had sex before, I really would appreciate some advice. I've been dating this girl for a few months and I like her a lot. She wanted to go really slow at first but a few weeks ago she voiced that she wanted to have sex with me (she's actually really experienced but she just got out of a long-term relationship). Well one night after that I told her I had condoms in my room (we live in different rooms in the same dorm) while we were making out, but long and slightly embarassing story short, I ended up losing my erection going to get them and we didn't have sex. Since then she's seemed colder and more frustrated with me than she was before, and we've only made out once since (i decided to stick with the handjob that time, haha) although I asked her if I should get a condom again a few nights later when we were both drunk and she said no (probably smart). Anyway, she's been showing a lot more interest in me the past week or so and I want to try again, but I can't think of a good way to approach it. People say sex should just happen naturally, but it seems hard to do in this case because we have to go to her room to mess around (she doesn't have roommates). The way I see it these are my options: 1. Ask her if I can get the condom from my room and then come back: Interrupts the whole thing as it takes a few minutes to get the condom from my room and risks the same scenario happening all over again. 2. Bring a condom over there before we start: Would work well except these situations are spontaneous, she doesn't text me to come over and makeout right now or anything, so I could potentially be sitting in her room for a couple hours with a condom in my pocket. Plus, if we're kissing and viola! I pull a condom out, it just seems weird and stalkery and like I came over there with only one thing on my mind. I don't know, it just seems like it'd be a turn-off if I was a girl. 3. Just tell her I want to have sex with her right as we start making out, that way I don't even have an erection yet: Will help maybe but again from what I've heard it's a turn-off to tell a girl you want to have sex with her, you're supposed to just "go with it". Still doesn't alleviate the fact that we have to randomly pause for 5 minutes, kinda kills the mood. 4. Don't use a condom: No. So what do you think? I'd guess not many of you have been in this exact situation, but something analogous would be anytime you have to have sex at a girl's place (and it's not planned, like she knows you're coming there for sex right then). What do you do? I can't think of a way to not make the situation awkward but there's defintely interest on her part, and I obviously want to have sex as well. Any advice or feedback is extremely appreciated, as this is obviously an important issue for me.
Eclypse Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I see nothing wrong with keeping a condom in your bag or something. Then while with her start making out, grinding etc then just reach over and pull it out! I don't think shed think it was weird, I mean what else could she be expecting? Me and my gf were both virgins. I had trouble keeping it up the first time too. It's more common than you think. If she holds it against you then I'd suggest you stop dating her.
Arbitrariness Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Dude, you are seeing a girl who has expressed interest that she would like to have sex with you. Just ask her if you can come round to watch a movie and then pounce. I suggest a bit of foreplay in which you treat her to something and I'm sure you'll find things easier. Just keep a condom in your jacket pocket, its not creepy to be safe and its very likely that she has a stash of her own.
Cee Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Bring the condoms with you. Spontaneity is a concept that people give lip service to. Responsible sexuality requires advance planning. You don't have to offer sex every time you have a condom, only on those times both of you are very much in the mood. Having it there will help enormously when you finally do. Good luck.
huskers11 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Just bring one with you when go to see her. If you are worried what she may think of this, tell her you brought one just in case but it was no pressure. You just wanted to be prepared in case something should occur! Be careful carrying condoms on you though! Your body heat overtime causes the condom to lose their effectiveness; therefore, increasing your chances of it breaking or not working properly!
blackmagik Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 You can get the trojan to-go too. They come in a hard plastic case and are made to fit in your wallet. I would say your problem is definitely not having the condom already on you. No girl will have a problem with you having it with you. If has already come up a few times it would to be expected. Also when you are already in the mood she will think nothing of it. If you really want it to happen sooner than later, be proactive and setup a time where a makeout session is possible.
Andy_K Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Keep one in your wallet. Take it out when you've both got your pants off and you're ready to go. You don't need to announce beforehand that you have one or whatever. It shouldn't take you more than 30 seconds to get it and put it on. Or better still, get her to put it on for you
Saphira Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 i think that if she has already expressed that she is ready to have sex with you then it would not be creepy if you had them on you. I am a college student as well, and am also a virgin and i keep a condom in my wallet. of course that was because i was in a relationship. but we just recently ended it. I kept one because there is always that possibility and you dont want to get going and be without. Or in your case have to leave the entire room to retrieve one. I think it would be best for you to just keep one on you, or in a wallet so when the time comes it is right there for you and you dont have to waste all the time retrieving it and loosing your erection.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I agree with Andy. Keep at least one in your wallet. You should, anyway. You never know when you might need one.
denise_xo Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Any man who is prepared with a condom is responsible, not creepy. A lot of women I know would really appreciate that. One of the worst things I know is to have to spend a lot of energy actually convincing a man to use a condom. So if your gf is just a little bit mature, she'll probably appreciate it and she might enjoy putting it on, too Don't worry about it & enjoy
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Well, it would be creepy if you were a teenager, or an older man trying to proposition someone who's much younger than you. A college male having a condom is a responsible and sexually aware (aware of STDs) person. I am a virgin, and I carry two in my wallet.
Saphira Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Well, it would be creepy if you were a teenager, or an older man trying to proposition someone who's much younger than you. A college male having a condom is a responsible and sexually aware (aware of STDs) person. I am a virgin, and I carry two in my wallet. yeah i think it is deffinitly responsible. im a college female and a virgin and i carry two as well. one in my bag and one in my wallet when i dont take my bag with me. it is always better to have one and not need it then to be getting hot in heavy and when the moment comes not have one with you.
blackmagik Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 well if you are to keep one in your wallet, be sure to swap it out every few months. Friction is super bad for them and it is very much not responsible to have a condom that has been in your wallet for 6 months, unless its one of the trjoan to-go ones like I mentioned. (they should pay me for promotion after this post haah)
Saphira Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 well if you are to keep one in your wallet, be sure to swap it out every few months. Friction is super bad for them and it is very much not responsible to have a condom that has been in your wallet for 6 months, unless its one of the trjoan to-go ones like I mentioned. (they should pay me for promotion after this post haah) :lmao::lmao:.................bahahahaha maybe you should hit them up for that payment lol and yes i agree. change out, it would definitely not be good to have an out of date/out of shape condom lol
Recommended Posts