Nukulus Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) So wow, just got back from the first date with a girl I met on Match. Lasted approx ~8 hours. So I was planning to drive to her city to meet her (she lives ~70 miles away) we were going to go to a Dave&Busters. I text her about an hour before I leave to let me know if everything was good. She texts back a bit later saying she's hungover but still wants to hang out... OK good, whatever. She has me meet her at her house, which was a wreck, from some friends being over the night before. She admits she only got out of bed 20 minutes prior to me getting there. We hang out and play with her dog for a couple hours while she cleans up from the night before. We then go to D&B. I pay for dinner/game cards. There for ~2.5 hours. Go back to her place, watch some tv. She shows me some stuff on her computer. I show her how to do some things with her mac. We're sitting on the couch with her dog between us. Dog farts on me twice. It's rancid. I laugh about it because I have pets and understand. Anyway watch some of the Oscars until about 10:30. I leave. She say's she'll prob talk to me tomorrow. All in all, it felt like I was hanging out with a friend. No awkwardness, it was comfortable. However, she did not say thank you. At. All. For anything. No "Thanks for driving more than an hour to see me despite gas being expensive" no "Thanks for dinner" no "thanks for not minding hanging out at my place while I clean up from the night before". Also No opportunity for physical contact the entire night. No hug goodbye, no kiss on the cheek, nada. She was pretty much never came closer than ~ 2 feet to me lol. I don't think I've ever felt like such a chump in my life. This is one of 2 times (that I remember) that I wen't on a first date and left not wanting a second haha. Needless to say I won't be asking to see her again. Edited February 28, 2011 by Nukulus
lemonlegs Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Don't let that prevent you from dating anyone else you may meet online! Bad manners are a huge turn off for me too, so I do not blame you whatsoever. Some people have different values. Though it was good she did not flake on you, I find it strange that she didn't mind you coming over when her house was a disaster and she was hungover.... afterall, first impressions are kinda important. Oh well, you gave it a shot and it didn't turn out. C'est la vie!
alethean Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Wow. You handled things gracefully. I would have been unable to hide my irritation. Hope the next one goes better.
carhill Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 One day. One date. One 'ugh'. OP, my only advice is, next time, if you 'feel' the 'ugh' vibe within yourself, be proactive about minimizing your subsequent exposure. No need for an 8.5 hour 'date'. No prejudice and no need to waste your or her time. I hope you have more dates in the near future to compare. Dating surely is a numbers game. Good luck
Author Nukulus Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 One day. One date. One 'ugh'. OP, my only advice is, next time, if you 'feel' the 'ugh' vibe within yourself, be proactive about minimizing your subsequent exposure. No need for an 8.5 hour 'date'. No prejudice and no need to waste your or her time. I hope you have more dates in the near future to compare. Dating surely is a numbers game. Good luck Yea for sure, I agree. I think the ugh vibe was partially masked by the comfort factor, like it maybe felt like a "date" with someone you've been with for years. i.e. you just don't give a **** anymore, not a first date when you're trying to impress haha. Oh well, you live and you learn. I got another one tonight, going bowling. It's in town, and regardless of how the girl is I'll have fun anyway haha.
blackmagik Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 You have the right attitude towards dating. It is definitely all about just having fun. Like was mentioned before, you definitely do not have to stick around when the date is going bad. You actually stuck it out longer than I would have. I would have totally been out if she was busy "cleaning her house" instead of being on the date with me. I think that shows some of the persons character, probably just the way I think.
GivenUp0083 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 OP, sorry you didn't feel anything with her, but I've heard of and been on a lot worse first dates. Gotta just take it for what it is...one night out. I would be a little offended at not being thanked for my efforts and generosity, but hey, you learned after just one date that she's not an appreciative person. Many people find out such a flaw much later in the dating or relationship process. Be thankful you were able to weed her out so early. As for spending so much time/money...I always tried to limit my first dates to just a meet. Meaning, something short, like coffee or a drink. That way you are just meeting them, there's no defined amount of time or money you have to spend with them. Have one coffee and talk. Have a couple drinks and talk. Get a feel for them, get to know them more. If it goes well, stay out for 6 hours talking...if you're not feeling it, end it after two drinks. Then you only lose what, an hour of your life? coffee is like 3 bucks, drinks are 3-6 depending on where/what you guys drink. You don't lose much on a first date if it's awkward or weird. It's a numbers game, but you also learn things about yourself and what you want. Sounds like you have a good approach, just don't invest so much on the first date.
Intricategirl Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 You've got a good attitude and an even better story. Don't be afraid to bail if it isn't working out ("Oh, look at the time...."), but try not to sweat it. Just go out and enjoy yourself, and it sounds like you are. Good luck
daphne Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Nuke! Glad to see you're making waves online. The dog thing made me guffaw. Thank god my cat doesn't do that. I'd have to give her time outs. I've definitely been on worse dates than that one. It's possible that she wasn't thinking when she didn't thank you. I know I was guilty of that twice with the same guy. I had to tex him later to thank him. It was embarrassing. Would you have been less upset with her poor manners had there been some physical contact? It's possible she prefers to take things slowly. At any rate, hope your next date is better.
Art_Critic Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Would you have thought the date went great if she had banged your brains out ? While it doesn't sound like the biggest connection it also doesn't sound like it went all that bad, aside from her not thanking you that is. Sometimes in dating you have to roll with the punches and you get a better picture of things than if you had the perfect date ie: you saw her mess, and her thoughtlessness toward you on this date.. if she hadn't have slept in you might not have seen this side of her.. At this point is all up to you, if she wants a second date meet her halfway this time... make her expel some effort besides just brushing her teeth.
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