brneyedgrl Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 It's been almost 2 months since our actual b/u and 3 weeks since I've been completely on my own,moved out, and started NC. I know it's easier to heal this way and I don't have anything more to say to him but the past couple days he's been on my mind. After 6 years he initiated the b/u, I tried everything I could to keep us together but eventually gave in to his wishes of no longer wanting to be in a relationship. I accept it and am actually happy right now. I'm re-building my life again and going out with friends. So why can't his memory just fade already? I knew it wouldn't be immediate, I knew this would be a long road but I think the main issue I'm having is the fact that he just walked away and hasn't looked back. It hurts and I thought maybe I'd at least get the liberty of knowing he misses me and will always love me. For me to go NC is one thing, for him to accept it and not attempt to contact me is another. These are ridiculous thoughts as I know we're over and can never make it work again, I wouldn't want to, but these past couple days have been harder for some reason.
WTRanger Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 So it's okay for you to NC him, but not okay for him to NC you? You need to start to accept that they are both one in the same. It's not a power game. Be GLAD he's not contacting you. Be glad you don't have to deal with the constant mind-melt that is contact or limited contact after a breakup of a long term relationship. You wanting to know he misses you is just you wanting power. We all want that power. But seeking that power is an anchor on the boat of acceptance. He was also the dumper, so he probably started moving on months ago. It was just until recent that he decided to act on it. So, in reality, he has a head start on you. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wakes up one day and decides to break up. They mull that decision over and over for weeks on end. You'll experience this for a long time. You'll go weeks, even months at a time and then for no reason one day you will get hit with a flood of thoughts and emotions about the breakup. The best thing to do is accept them, deal with the feelings, cry/rant/rave if you must. Then wake up feeling refreshed the next day. Everything you are going through is perfectly normal.
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