24 Days of no contact...feeling pretty good, have some ?'s though.

[VanCan06]

Hey LS,

 

So I've been lurking around here for about 2 months now since being dumped. Quite the experience to say the least, I'm almost 19, and it was my first actual relationship besides all that high school mumbo jumbo. I hear people say you have to experience a tough break-up at least once, as it will help you in future relationships.

 

I've been no contact for 24 days, after we broke up 2 months ago, I was in LC for the first month. I think I handled the break up pretty good though. I never begged, pleaded etc. Only time I actually cried was when my cat died the next day (animal softy lol). I did ask if we could work it out in the future after we settle down, and all I got were 'maybe' type answers, and a lot of sentences like "IF we get back together" etc etc... ugh

 

 

But besides that, I've realized no contact has it's positives and negatives I guess. In the positive, I feel pretty good. I have my life back on track for the most part, not only relationship wise, but school as well. I fell off the path for a little while and I am just now getting it all sorted out. I've been going to the gym for the last 10 months and it is one of my favourite things to do. I have improved myself greatly in the last two months both physically and mentally. I know if I ever saw my ex again she would notice.

 

On the negative, well no contact has allowed me to analyze our break up more logically of course, and I have realized I am at fault as well, as is sometime the case it seems, we dumpee's just don't realize it as we are taken back the feeling of being dumped. The thing is, I kinda wish our relationship ended badly, or there was some good reason behind it. In fact, I would almost be happier if I was told she left me for someone else as I would have a reason to easily not look back and forget her.

 

She broke up with me because she was "too stressed at the time, and felt we should get our lives back together so we can enjoy a great relationship"

Which I understand now. She was in school, I only saw her on Fridays/weekends, which was ok with me, but maybe not with her.

I had just finished a semester and decided to try and work until September to save up more money. (bad decision in hindsite, but that's another story...). Anyway, like I said, in the last 2 months I have managed to straighten out my life, I feel pretty good, and I understand I was at fault as well.

 

I am at a predicament after 2 months apart and just under a month NC, should I somehow let her know, talk to her, and try and get a straight answer?

I'm at the point where, I would rather have a definite 'yes or no', because otherwise I analyze things too much. I don't expect us to get back together as a couple, but I feel I should just lay the cards down and that way the decision is hers and it won't be a maybe. We've had two months to think about it, I think that should be long enough to settle down and think about this all rationally.

Because as it stands, she says she wants me to still be in her families life for the time being, but that's pretty diffacult when she makes no effort to contact me. So the way is stands, if she says she doesn't feel like a relationship will work, that's fine, I honestly think I will feel better with just an answer.

That all being said, do you think I should contact her? I know I should wait for her to contact me, but who knows how long that could take. I want to get it over with, with a simple answer. That way, for me no contact wouldn't even be an issue anymore.

If so, how should I got about it? I don't think she is comfortable talking to me, so I guess I could send an email, or go on MSN one night.

 

Thanks to those who took the time to read this

[Hhhh]

If she has any interest in speaking to you she will find a way to contact you. For the time being you need to continue to work on yourself.

 

Your right! Everyone must experience a break up once in their lives to learn to appreciate future relationships, that being said, don't dwell on the past and look forward to a bright future

[VanCan06]

If she has any interest in speaking to you she will find a way to contact you. For the time being you need to continue to work on yourself.

 

Your right! Everyone must experience a break up once in their lives to learn to appreciate future relationships, that being said, don't dwell on the past and look forward to a bright future

 

Thanks for the input!

 

I do agree, if she has any interest she should be able to pick up her cell and at the least text me, email me, anything. But I know she is stubborn, as she knows am I. She could very well be thinking the same thing I guess, but the more I look at it, it's the dumpers responsibility to engage in further contact. I guess all this time I just wanted a solid answer, but I realize most of the time this isn't how it works haha.

 

I do look forward to a bright near future though. I'm turning 19 in a little bit, which just so happens to be the legal age to enter clubs, and enjoy the nightlife.