allenmj Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I'm a guy, .. This dude's sick. Send one more text saying no thanks, good luck and don't respond to any more. If he starts sending more, and any more than 3 a day, contact law enforcement for a report/restraining order.
Author purple_cloud Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 YUCK I heard from him again: My dearest (name), Did you read my text message? You are precious to me, even though we just have met. Could we please be friends? Could we start as friends? I am dying to see you again. please. *************** I am getting increasingly creeped out
baguette Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I'm also a guy. This is REALLY weird, especially after one freakin date. Don't respond to him, it'll only fuel him to message/call you more.
Author purple_cloud Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 Keep in mind that it was only 2 hour date, with perhaps 3-4 short e-mails exchanged prior to the meet. During the date, I barely said few words because he did so much talking. Yet, he is inferring all these things about my personality
Eeyore79 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Did you read my text message? You are precious to me, even though we just have met. Could we please be friends? Could we start as friends? I am dying to see you again. please. Oh my goodness, that really is scary considering he barely knows you. He's obviously very clingy and is projecting a lot of his personal stuff onto you. I'm hesitant to even recommend sending a "Please leave me alone" text, since he might take any contact as a signal to continue pestering you. I think you should just ignore him now; he will eventually go away.
daphne Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Good question. I have an instinctive aversion to men who come on that strong. It has happened in the past only for them to cool off just as quickly and for no reason at all. Someone who speaks like that is either insincere or emotionally unstable. At best, he finds be extremely physically attractive and is filling in the personality blanks with his imagination. I have been burnt by men that put me on pedestal based on looks, only to coldly dump me once they wake up and see that I am not perfect. I found your whole post to be accurate, especially the bolded part. In every similar experience, that's what I've found too. And yeah, definitely look for a guy who likes you for the person you are. I feel so guilty. I hate hurting people. He was calling me all day (I didn't answer). I just got this text from him: Dear (name), I genuinly thought and felt that we enjoyed holding each others hands and that we felt a mutual spark. I certainly felt a very strong attraction towards you. I realize that I may have rushed things with hugging you and trying to kiss you and I apologize. I hope that you don't think I am a womanizer. I am very interested to find out more about you. I liked you in terms of building a long term relationship. I don't mind to take things gradually. I liked your personality and I found you interesting as a person and human being. It was much more that the way you look. We also could start from a friendship. You are quite a special person. I also wanted to pay for your taxi but you escaped too quickly. If you read his email again, it's pretty selfish. He's dismissing your feelings about him and focusing on well, probably his attraction to you. Unstable guys don't care where your needs fit in the equation as long as you give him waht he wants. In this case, another chance. I think it's natural to feel guilty when you think someone sincerely likes you and you might be hurting them. However, I think you should get over this fast. It makes you a target for an obsessive and selfish guy like this. You already know something's not right with him, but you still feel guilty from some sort of early conditioning (probably parental.) This is not your fault or your problem, as long as you are respectful with letting someone down. If you've done that, you can do no more. If you don't cut him out sooner rather than later, he'll persist.
Author purple_cloud Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Daphne, Spot on. What irritates me about men like this is how they only care about their own feelings. This guy is not hard to reject because I absolutely have no attraction to him. But when a guy comes on as strong and I find him attractive - it can be tricky. This selfishness swings both way. For example, now it's "I feel the spark and I want you. Your feelings are irrelevant." On the other end of the spectrum, once his infatuation dies down it would be "I don't the feel the spark and I don't want you anymore. Your feelings are irrelevant." That's is what I meant when I said I was coldly dumped out of the blue by men who previously seemed infatuated with me to the point of obsession.
daphne Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Daphne, On the other end of the spectrum, once his infatuation dies down it would be "I don't the feel the spark and I don't want you anymore. Your feelings are irrelevant." That's is what I meant when I said I was coldly dumped out of the blue by men who previously seemed infatuated with me to the point of obsession. Yep. That's why you have to keep your wits about you when you are highly attracted to a guy. The modus operandi doesn't change just because the guy's better looking and/or more charismatic. There are men that desperately want a beautiful woman and love the challenge. For this type of a guy, it's probably validation. Much like an overweight guy that likes to chase thin women. It is what it is. It could be worse. You could be unattractive. However, it's up to you to take your time and weed those guys out.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 All that is going through my mind is: Super freak! Super freak! Super freeekkkyyyyy! He has nut job written all over him. If you have not sent a second VERY CLEAR text about how you are not interested in seeing him again in any capacity then perhaps that would be warranted. But he'll probably keep this up for a while.
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