collegeguy_24 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Title says it all just about. Lately I've been feeling rather down, and today I came to the conclusion that its because I feel invisible in regards to all my relationships, whether they be with my exes, my current GF, friends and family. Looking over my life I feel like I just don't really matter and I'm afriad its what going to happen with my current relationship. My first ex, things went well, until a time came that every time I visited her, it was like I was never there, like I never mattered, all she did was play on her computer. I later found out she was cheating on me, but still, it was like I just didn't exist. My last ex, after she ended things, she moved on like what we had, like all we've been through, never happened or that I didn't even exist. Even though she wanted to stay in communication, nothing came of it. I tried opening communication with her after feeling that I moved on enough, and after a few email exchanges all went quite. I've received nothing back from her in regards to my last email, and its been several weeks. I see my friends and family all living their lives, all enjoying them, and even when I try to partake, I'm just not there. I don't register to them and am overlooked. Same thing at work. In my new relationship, I'm afraid that as time goes on she to will not even see me, that I will just grow invisible to her until I don't even exist. I really like her, I do, she's great, buts it a repeated pattern in my life, that as time goes on I just become insignificant until I no longer exist. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I mean, whats the point of living a life, if despite all your efforts, you don't even exist to those around you?
Ay Diesel T Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 What kind of person are you in social events? The outgoing and social type? The quiet guy? The wolf? The sheep?
Author collegeguy_24 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I've actually tried both. Most of my life I have been the quite type, but in the past 3 years I've gone out and tired to be the social type. Mst people tend to ignore me. I've tried initiating conversation, or joining in when a friend invites me in, but in the end I'm still ignored and invisible.
Stealthbreed Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 just keep being social and eventually you will find someone who loves you for who you are.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I have felt the way you do at times. At those times I was clinically depressed. I think you should tell what you have said to a psychological professional.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I have told one before, and the rare times we can communicate, even my own mom agrees. They say I am more closed, that I have built something akin to a fortress around my heart after having been screwed twice. Even my last ex, who I still have feelings for, said I have become a vengeful person which is an unattractive trait. My current GF agrees with her, at least on that aspect alone. I've even been told by my GF that I appear to be looking to always have an escape available, that by feeling invisible I am really looking to keep an option of being guarded up so I won't hurt again. DOes any of this make actual sense?
commadore Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 i have felt like you before man. somtimes i feel depressed for no reason, usually when im alone or think about the future. and when in a group im not even there, its like they take for granted that ill be there. im a ghost
SmileFace Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 DOes any of this make actual sense? Yes, it does make sense. I am really would like to comment but I am having a horrible day right now. I can't deal with the headache of actually rethinking how invisible I feel. I have been told by complete strangers about how guarded I am. This crap has ruined many relationships for me. Relationships of all kind. The thing is every time I try to let my guard down,I get ****ed over again. I really don't know what to do. I only feel invisible because that is what I allowed. I allowed myself not to be seen. I tried my best to hide from people - to keep me safe but now that is just proving to be more trouble than good. It isn't good to be guarded - I only ****ed myself over trying to protect myself. When I actually need people now - no one wants to be there for me since I shun them out of my life when I want to.Sigh , this problem most likely doesn't even relate to you. - Nevermind Sorry you feel this way and sorry for blabbering - I would delete but I already wrote it .
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 Your not blabbering, what you said makes a lot of sense. I have grown guarded because of all the hurt i've been through, and its hard to let people in, but when I do, or try to, its like I may as well as not bother as its like I'm not there.
Nexus One Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I wish there was a way I could make you all feel better. GROUPHUUUUG!
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