kaygato Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I'm not really proud of the way I treated my ex at the end of our relationship. I took him for granted and said some things I wish I could take back. It's been a month since we broke up for good, and 4 months since the first time we broke up. I really want to fully apologize for the things I did wrong. I tried to do that when we first broke up but didn't really apologize for everything, was defensive, and overly emotional. My ex has now been dating someone new for 2-3 weeks. I think we still both need space, and I still feel hurt because he kind of strung me along after we first broke up, so I'm going to wait a couple months to call him and finally get this off my chest. How do you not allow pride/insecurity to get in the way of admitting you are wrong? I admit I do this too often in relationships... I'm not even sure I want him back anymore. I'm sort of of the fence about it, but I feel like me finally giving a good and honest apology would be a good first step if we're meant to reconcile. So yeah...I just need advice with this. Right now I'm using no contact, but I do want to apologize eventually.
huskers11 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Don't apologize because you hope it will lead you two back together. Only time will really tell if that will happen! Do it because it's what you feel in your heart and because you are truly sorry. In a breakup, neither person owes the other person a single thing. So you do not owe him an apology. But if it's something that you feel like you need to do to move on, then do it! Think about what you are sorry for and just tell him. I can be rather stubborn too and often I don't say sorry like I should but if it's something I honestly feel bad for and know I have to do it for me then it's so easy to get over that stubborness! When that's the case, I instantly feel better because all of my hurt and guilt is gone. It's almost liberating! If it's really something you want to do, then you just have to do it! But don't do it because you hope it may get you back together with him because odds are it won't work! Do it for you and ONLY you!
YSS Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 To get past pride and insecurity, is simple, it's called integrity and respect. If you are feeling bad for how you treated your ex, imagine how he is feeling! Read the posts here of many whose pain of a break up is compounded by the undeserving conduct of their ex towards them Could it be your treatment of him let a painful situation such as a break up become compounded by your behaviour, specifically treatment of him in the end. So, if you treated him in a way that was not deserving, you own your behaviour and set it right. An apology in this instance is not to make you feel better rather to own up to what you did. It's having respect for the other to say he did not deserve that from you.
stopthemadness Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I think contacting your ex for any reason is a really bad idea. Write a letter and then dont mail it. Ive done that before it helps. You said your ex is with smone new (so is mine, so i feel ya) But the best thing you can give your ex is the gift of missing you. I heard that on here. I think its sooo true. Look all am saying is, nothing you say right now will change anything. So why not just leave it alone? You dont realize it but as each day goes by, your getting better and better. Time is your true friend right now. Time will heal our broken hearts, I promise!! so give it time k? N/C N/C
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