Author caseinpoint Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 I wouldn't mind if she called because, I wouldn't have wanted to look rude when the fact could've been that I forgot all about it because I was busy. You won't lose your dignity by calling, but what if you sit there and do nothing and he never calls about it..how would you feel then? I already feel awful because it's unlike him to not respond more promptly and with more information. If he doesn't call by then, I have my answer, no? If you forgot about it because you were busy, doesn't that mean you aren't that interested to begin with?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 As a guy, if you had changed your mind within this time, would you still like a girl to call and ask you whether you're still going out? Wouldn't you prefer that she gets the hint and moves on? I'm thinking about my dignity. A date is not a powerplay. If you have to think this way, you're going to set yourself up for a lot of game playing. Just confirm for the sake of confirming. Overthinking and trying to get an upper hand is irrational.
Author caseinpoint Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 'Where are you taking me on our date? I would like to dress appropriately' Nothing wrong with that kind of proactive contact, IMO. An interested man will respond quickly and succinctly. This will be a positive thing. What's puzzling is he didn't offer more information. I don't think I can think it's confirmed unless I know all the necessary information. My point is if he's changed his mind, my asking could be met with no response.
Author caseinpoint Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Sometimes you can forget about things because something happens that takes your mind off of it. I have dated before and forgot to follow up because someone in my family was sick and I was dealing with that and work so it doesn't mean that he isn't interested if that was the case. Just take the time to contact him and find out what's up. Makes life a lot easier and less stressful. I get what you're trying to say. I'm probably too pissed by now (the lack of response and information) to think objectively. Most guys I've dated have been more proactive and prompt. This just makes me think he's not keen.
carhill Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Communication is a two-way street and is a cornerstone of a successful relationship and marriage. Call him (or text him, if that is your style), ask the question I quoted and accept the response as reality, whatever it is. Acceptance is key
mogul Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Sometimes I am just really busy. If you have a few days left till the date, there is still a possibility he'll call to confirm one or two days prior. It all depends on how much rapport you have built before setting up the date. If you want to take initiative, you can text him something simple such as "how are things going". Don't acknowledge the date and just see how the convo goes. He should bring it up. If not, drop it.
carhill Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Yes, many more potentials and the more quickly this one is clarified, the better for the OP. IMO, she's investing needless negative emotions into a dynamic which isn't yet worthy of any emotion. What will probably happen is that he'll call, she'll be all happy and we won't see her again. A normal day on a support forum OP, does this thread hold any relevance here?
Author caseinpoint Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Yes, many more potentials and the more quickly this one is clarified, the better for the OP. IMO, she's investing needless negative emotions into a dynamic which isn't yet worthy of any emotion. What will probably happen is that he'll call, she'll be all happy and we won't see her again. A normal day on a support forum OP, does this thread hold any relevance here? The thread is of a different guy. Now that you mentioned, I seem to be either meeting a lot of such men or I'm investing too much needless negative emotions before they're worthy with these guys.
Author caseinpoint Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 I think you are wasting too much time and emotion in this..its not like the two of you are couple and you are already stressed. I totally agree. I can't help it though. How do I not get emotionally involved or attached too soon?
carhill Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I offered the link up as a potential for establishing a pattern. Apparently, you may be perceiving this yourself. When younger, I had a pattern of over-investing in interactions with women whom I wasn't yet (or never) dating and whom didn't deserve nor request such investment. I recognize signs of this here.
Author caseinpoint Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 I offered the link up as a potential for establishing a pattern. Apparently, you may be perceiving this yourself. When younger, I had a pattern of over-investing in interactions with women whom I wasn't yet (or never) dating and whom didn't deserve nor request such investment. I recognize signs of this here. Did you overcome the over-investment? How did you do it?
carhill Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Did you overcome the over-investment? How did you do it? Got married (and divorced)
Author caseinpoint Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 So his explanation when I asked was that he was too busy with work and forgot about it. He said he was still free on the day he earlier scheduled. I told him I wasn't anymore. He asked for a reschedule. I don't plan to because he was never tardy before but when it was time for an actual something, he was so busy he forgot. The other reason not to reschedule was I don't like to wait for responses and he could still be busy to respond. What would you have done?
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