Ready4Life Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I'm currently in more or less the same situation as you; my ex also left me 3 weeks ago, having 'lost the love'. We had also been in a relationship for 5 years, a year living together, two years apart and 3 breakups in between. Needless to say, I can relate to your story. But at the same time, my ex is being civil about it. She's giving me my space to get over it, and that's appreciated. Although I do have a daily fight with the urge to contact her, I have managed not to. I still care about her, and wish for nothing more than to give both of us a fair chance to move on (of course, at this point my recovery is more important than hers ). No contact is the only way to do this. I think that your ex owes you the same decency, as you owe her. Why are you letting her run your life still? Letting her tell you how you messed up? You don't owe her anything! The fact that she broke up immediately voids all value of her opinion of you. And if you're thinking about getting back together; think again Would you honestly be happy with someone who made such statements about you? Who intentionally set out to hurt you? Who would probably leave you again? You would no longer be able to give such a person your full commitment and you know it. As depplover said; think about your self respect. You can still retain it if you claim it now. Best of luck; you're not alone. I know all of us will both pull through and be better individuals, without our respective ex's. In time.
Layzie89 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Seriously man, salvage the dignity you have left and stop talking to her...she's not talking to you or agreeing to meet with you with hopes of getting back together...she's sympathizing, talking to you out of pity. I know it hurts dude, but you really have to look at it from a womens perspective. What's more attractive to a woman? An independent, confident guy who shows they don't NEED their ex and is taking care of himself after a breakup and who's perfectly fine without them. Or a needy, clingy, dependent guy who's weak after a breakup, begging and pleading every chance he gets. Think about how you're portraying yourself to her right now and if she'd ever want to go back to that.
0hpenelope Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I entirely echo Penelope's sentiments, but with the addition and harsh - get some self respect and stop talking to her. People will run out of sympathy for you soon if you keep doing this to yourself. Oh, he's still keeping in touch with her on purpose, depp? Brother, don't do it. The sooner you stick with NC, the better you'll feel. People who don't hang around the ex like a bad stink regain their self-respect and dignity back faster. They go through the worst parts of the healing process and then come out feeling much better, stronger because they actually went through the muck. Seriously man, salvage the dignity you have left and stop talking to her...she's not talking to you or agreeing to meet with you with hopes of getting back together...she's sympathizing, talking to you out of pity. I know it hurts dude, but you really have to look at it from a womens perspective. What's more attractive to a woman? An independent, confident guy who shows they don't NEED their ex and is taking care of himself after a breakup and who's perfectly fine without them. Or a needy, clingy, dependent guy who's weak after a breakup, begging and pleading every chance he gets. Think about how you're portraying yourself to her right now and if she'd ever want to go back to that. All of these? True! Don't sabotage your own chances: you've done the begging and being there for her and you already know the tactics you've done don't work, so why keep doing 'em? You're in a good position here. Let her go and work on yourself and she might come back. Let her go and work on yourself and you'll feel so much better about yourself, you won't care whether she comes back or not. Win-win.
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