tommy.is.my.name Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 hi, just a quick question. so my ex is in europe till july. we broke up 1 month into her trip there. for the reason that it was a LDR. she broke up with me. when we broke up it was not ended badly. she said she still loves me and we will see what happens when she gets back. anyway, since the breakup we have spoken a few times. but, i decided to go NC. I did this about 8 days ago. . .three days after the breakup. she hasnt tried to contact me, nor i her. today while i was snowboarding i checked facebook on my phone while i was uploading some photos. i noticed that she deleted me as a friend. she still has my mother, brother, sister and law and three nieces as her friends on facebook. my question is. why do you think she did this? she knows im on facebook all the time. the kicker is, i havent looked at her profile at all since the breakup. could it be to get a rise out of me? to see if ill call or email her and question her why she did it? when we broke up she made it clear that she still loves me and wants to remain friends. so what gives? anyone else experience this before? i know, its just facebook. i feel super stupid for even being concerned about it, but i just dont know what to think. thank you.
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Should I even respond to her taking me off her friends lust? She hasn't blocked on Skype.
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Well she logged onto Skype and I instant messaged her. Kept it cordial. Just how are yous, doing fine, etc. No desperate moves to get her back. She didn't express anything saying take her back or whatnot. I kept it really short and ended the conversation myself. She didnt mentjon the Facebook thing. Thoughts??
flitzanu Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 i say one-up her and block her on fb. she deleted you, so block her.
ally21 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 If you are the one who initiated the NC, and didn't talk to her about it... she is probably wondering if you would even notice her doing it. She is doing it to get a response, but it's not to piss you off, or get a rise. It's just her way of inadvertently/subtly asking if you notice her gone. It's all a game... and I've been apart of that game for too long. Don't one up and block her. I did the same thing to my ex boyfriend...and he handled it really well. He wrote me a message, "Hey, I noticed I'm deleted. I am very busy, but I do notice when you're gone." -- Obviously, if you have control issues this might not be something you want to do because it IS putting the ball in her court.
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) Thanks ally that sounds like a very mature way of handling it. And yep, I started nc without saying anything about it. I hope I'm not deluding myself by thinking she did it to get my attention. I mean I'd she really didnt want to talk to me she wouldn't have responded on skype. Could it be that she was testing me because she saw all the pics I was posting when Snowboarding? It's not like we had been arguing. I did start nc after she asked me about my new job. A couple says after we broke up she found out I slept with somebody (post breakup). I felt really ****ty about it. I guess it was a stupid way to try to cope. But, then she got pissed at me about it. That's the only thing I can think of she would be mad about. But we talked about it two weeks ago. Confused... Edited February 28, 2011 by tommy.is.my.name
ally21 Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I have been through enough relationships to know that when a man finds solace in post-breakup sex with another woman, not to take it seriously... but it still hurts. Women and men view sex extremely differently because of the consequences. If she has not given herself to another man, which I am guessing she hasn't, it hurts to know that you crossed that physical line. She viewed you as 'hers' and that was probably a good wake up call to her to realize that you aren't, anymore. I don't think she is mad at you, anymore...That is a really tricky one. She may be just hiding it; if she is still talking to you, and you were the one who initiated NC. I think she did it just to find out what is going on on your end. You took back control when you initiated NC, and she's trying to find out why you stopped talking to her, and to know if you still are there. I know that my ex (you just replied to mine ) is not talking to me, and it's driving me insane. Obviously, or I wouldn't be on here! lol... So continue to do your thing... It shows her you don't NEED her in your life, but if possible, show her you want her... or else she will be in my position - not knowing what you want at all.
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 So I emailed her letting her know I noticed the delete. She emailed back promptly. Said she did it bc she didn't want me to get drunk and write something hurtful. And that out of sight is out of mind. WTF? For her or me? I then reminded het that I haven't done anything spiteful since the breakup two weeks ago. She said I'm right and thanked me. I then sent her an email saying I still love her but accept the breakup. But that there is still a part of me that hopes we can start a new relationship when she gets back. And that no matter what I'm happy she can travel Europe right now. And experience everything that it has to offer. Dumb move?
lilymore Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 deleted you is not a big problem,cuz she can add you later. girls often play this games
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 O and I'm heading to new Orleans tomorrow for mardi gras. Should be a blast but still can't stop obsessing over the breakup. Luckily I can keep logged into LS via my phone. You guys are life savers.
ally21 Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Go HAVE FUN!!! Put the break up on hold. Seriously. Just think of it as you guys taking a break. She's in Europe, and you're there. If you sleep with someone else while there, talk to us before you jump the gun and tell her... 'cause I don't think you should, personally. What you do during your break up is your own business, and she has no need to know, unless she straight up asks. Either way, HAVE FUN!!! Get out, party, and just forget it as much as possible. Easier said than done, but hey, you deserve it.
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Thanks lil you're right not a big deal I guess. And ally you're right I need to take a break from the break up. The biggest party in America should help. And for sure ill bend your ear before I divulge any extracurricular activities to my ex
Author tommy.is.my.name Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 Mardi Gras is over. Had a great time, but still am heartbroken. Findings comfort in the flesh of others is not the way to go. Just feel dirty and even mote alone. I'm leaving new Orleans today. Quit my job and feel lost. Don't know where to go...graduated fro+ university of Hawaii this past December. Any suggestions of a city to move to? O and I broke nc, damnit. Just said " hi, its mardi gras. Wish you were here."' Stupid me. I wasdrunk. No reply from her
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