timchambo Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 was bored before I go out tonight and instead of doing something I would regret (checking up on the ex) I browsed the forums. One of the posts got me to thinking about a conversation me and the ex had during our breakup. -LTR lasted over 7 years -Treated her way too good (loved her too much, 100% financial support) -Leaves me because she's "not in love anymore" -Dating new guy within days The week following the split she was trying to reach out to me. I feel its just to relieve some guilt and such so I didn't respond. I eventually had to let her know to not contact me anymore because of how she left me. This resulted in a couple replies that basically said, "fine! I am only disrespecting myself by reaching out!", and "WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY PASSION!". Basically just angry responses, at this point I think she didn't think I knew about the new guy. The latter of which I disagree with, but clearly this is something she is using as a crutch to justify her actions. My question is why did she show the anger? I am past the idea she has any feelings, especially with mr. perfect in the picture. For my own selfish reasons I wan't to believe she hates what she did and how she did it. I don't want her to be happy with how she used me and left me for another guy.
bl22 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 She got angry because she was testing you to see if you'd tell her how much you loved her and beg her back...you didnt...she got angry. They get angry sometimes because theyre angry at themselves. Theyre 'confused' they know what theyre doin is wrong and they find the easiest target to blame...us. My ex once stayed out most of the night when she is usualy home by 10 after work...I was so worried, thinking all sorts, she may have been kidnapped or hurt or lost. Her mum was worried and I rang her, she had no clue and we ended up ringing the police. She eventually gets in late at night and after me relieved shes okay she says to me 'Im not a ****in child, im goin bed, bye' Yeah , ive just spent the last 3 hours worrying my arse off and thats all i get from you. She changed into a total monster my ex.
bslchump Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Hey tim, From personal experience, they seem to run the gamut of emotions until one feels right or gets the reaction they want. When I first confronted my ex (1 day later) with her already flirting/setting things up with a new guy, she was first sobbing apologetic, then indignant, then angry, then ashamed, then sarcastic, then haughty, then ashamed again, and finally she stopped seeming to care. She would just respond with dead eyes and say "ok I'm the worst girlfriend ever." She liked playing the martyr. I'm just saying don't put a lot of thought into how/why she says things (even though you probably still will). Some things you take great solace in could be total lies and the things that infuriate you could also be total lies. There's no way of knowing what kind of BS she's throwing your way. The reason NC works is because it removes you from having to make these kinds of decisions and think these kinds of thoughts. My ex would be a total sweetheart to me and laugh and joke and flirt. Then I found out she would go RIGHT from that to cybering with her new guy. Pretty crummy of her, right? Like we've said before, our situations are really similar. If my ex responded like that to my face, I'd either tell her to go f*ck herself or I'd just roll my eyes and walk away.
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