Eddie Edirol Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Exactly, most women are EXTREMELY "cliquey". They are always in a herd; at restaurants or at the mall or even bathroom. I cannot even "go" in the bathroom when there are other people around; I gotta wait till it's empty. I am very rare because I am independent and do everything alone; therefore I am an anomaly to most people. So whats the conclusion of what you think if people judge you when you go out? Suppose they do assume youre lonely. What then?
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 So whats the conclusion of what you think if people judge you when you go out? Suppose they do assume youre lonely. What then? If they assume that I am lonely, then it just means that I was correct in my belief about how solo diners are perceived in general. And it means that other posters who said that people don't judge your or don't care to, are wrong. And I'm right. That's all. The end. No groundbreaking conclusion or anything. Just interesting to note how society perceives people who eat alone.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I don't feel like I have to pretend to read something or fiddle with a phone to keep me preoccupied. Those are suggestions generally given to solo diners byt why should I read? I want to sit and savor the moment while waiting for the food and then savor my food and enjoy. Why should I pretend to read a book or a Kindle just because I am alone? I don't feel I should have to compensate by doing all that just because I am alone. Btw, I also make sure to tip like 30 percent when I'm alone; cause I am representing solo female diners and want the waiters to know that we have money too. (Otherwise they might treat us like crap because they are wasting a table on one diner when they could have more). Also many waiters might think that female solo diners are bad tippers, which I am not and I tip extra to make sure they get the point. If that's your thing it isn't a big deal. Probably most people will just assume you got stood up on a date. When I travel for business and have to eat out alone, I sometimes get approached by women if I'm not occupied with something. Although I tend to eat in the bar where I can see a TV with sports. When I feel particularly anti-social, I will sit and TXT my GF and read a newspaper or work on my laptop.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) If that's your thing it isn't a big deal. Probably most people will just assume you got stood up on a date. When I travel for business and have to eat out alone, I sometimes get approached by women if I'm not occupied with something. Although I tend to eat in the bar where I can see a TV with sports. When I feel particularly anti-social, I will sit and TXT my GF and read a newspaper or work on my laptop. Like I posted before... When you go on a date, you WAIT for your date to arrive. Who the heck actually orders food before their date gets there? You don't do that! Also, if I was stood up, why would I spend an hour eating many courses and then eating desert and taking my sweet time? Don't you think that someone who was stood up would probably order a drink while waiting for their date and then LEAVE once he never showed up? Who would actually eat a meal at LEISURE if they were stood up? So explain why you would think I got stood up. Also, why would people not think that I WANTED and CHOSE to eat alone? Why would they assume that I got stood up you think? Is eating alone so abnormal that the only logical thought is "She must have been stood up"? Edited February 27, 2011 by J200
wbr4p Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 damn this thread is just so weird. first of all, i am confused why the op is even asking this..isnt it obvious..its not weird. its ok. second of all, there was actually someone that said that it IS weird. seriously? are we in the 60s? way back in college everyone else did their thing, i had to sit on the porch and eat crackers with bottled water. i wasnt a big lunch eater. i did that every day for several months. my 2 best friends left for new york and my bf overseas, nobody really interesting to "invite". i'd eat lunch/dinner alone all the time, the only caveat is that when youre eating alone at odd hours (3am or very early 6-7am) old men look at you they think you're a ...professional pleasure giver (if you know what i mean). by the way, beauty depends on who is looking at it. u claim you are attractive and beautiful, but that only goes for you (your tastes) it does not go for the entire mass human population.
Els Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) To be fair, I think IRL people do judge. It's the silly, automatic 'Oh, he/she must be a loser/have no friends!' thing, I guess. And by judge I don't mean they'll come up to you and say it, or throw rotten veggies at you. They'll just look, think, maybe talk to their friends about it. I know, because I used to get the 'OMG, you ate -alone-!?!?' response from many of my friends/relatives too. That being said, people judge everyone for anything out of the norm. So either you be judged, or you trundle along with all the other sheep all the time. The choice is clear, for me at least. I would honestly feel awkward eating at a very nice restaurant by myself (yes, I HAVE noticed people looking), so I tend to stick to less-nice restaurants when eating by myself. It's a pity, since I actually enjoy eating alone sometimes. Edited February 27, 2011 by Elswyth
jane100 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) I remember being in a beautiful and exotic restaurant in the Far East many years ago (I was travelling). I was alone and I was eating a wonderful meal. Yet I felt close to tears because I had no-one to share this with - which really surprised me at the time. I think there is something sometimes about eating and sharing, especially with a very "special" meal. However, does it surprise me that women sometimes eat alone. No. 1. If she was rich, alone, and just fancied the nice food , something pleasurable for herself without other plans made. 2. Also I've had female friends who were away from home on business and just had to eat at a restaurant ... Edited February 27, 2011 by jane100
tami-chan Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) Like I posted before... When you go on a date, you WAIT for your date to arrive. Who the heck actually orders food before their date gets there? You don't do that! Also, if I was stood up, why would I spend an hour eating many courses and then eating desert and taking my sweet time? Don't you think that someone who was stood up would probably order a drink while waiting for their date and then LEAVE once he never showed up? Who would actually eat a meal at LEISURE if they were stood up? So explain why you would think I got stood up. Also, why would people not think that I WANTED and CHOSE to eat alone? Why would they assume that I got stood up you think? Is eating alone so abnormal that the only logical thought is "She must have been stood up"? You are assuming that people actually would take time to FIGURE out why you are alone and take into consideration other things that are going on-ie. you are calm , or already eating your entre,etc.etc... I do not think most people take time out to do that. All they would notice (if at all) is that you are alone and the first thought that would come would be "oh poor thing, got stood up"....then they would forget you and focus on their own lives. Perhaps these thoughts are what go on with you when you see individuals dining alone. But most people are too busy about their own lives to worry about other people. Edited February 27, 2011 by tami-chan
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Not necessarily. I actually prefer eating alone. I am a bit of a loner - also have social anxiety - and tend to hang out by myself. I never bring a book or anything, unless I'm actually wanting to read one then. I am a guy, though, so my advice may be different. But if I see a girl eating by herself, I just think...she is eating alone. If she looks at me, and seems welcoming, I'll ask her if I can join her.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 This is not my quote, but I'm quoting someone else. He was a person that posted in one of my topics about Eating Alone on another message board and I love and agree with this quote so much that I saved it. It captures the way I feel about eating alone. "I don't feel humiliated at all. In fact most times i feel superior. A restaurant is a place for food. I pity people who make eating in a restaurant some kind of an event. They can afford to eat in a restaurant only on special occasions. For me, it's just a meal and catching up on some reading." No. 1. If she was rich, alone, and just fancied the nice food , something pleasurable for herself without other plans made. Eating alone in a restaurant frequently means you are rich? Hardly. If you don't drink, a meal at an ok restaurant won't cost more than $30 a plate. I am not talking about super fancy restaurants but "decent" restaurants. Since when do you have to be rich to afford a meal at a restaurant? lol Just because the average person is broke..... Eating out regularly HARDLY means you are rich. Again, I quote " I pity people who make eating in a restaurant some kind of an event. They can afford to eat in a restaurant only on special occasions."
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 You shouldn't feel pity. That's kind of messed up. Look, eating at a restaurant can either be a social event, or it can be a way to not be hungry. Or it can be both. Same thing with movies, or going to concerts, or going to the bar, or...wherever. I go to music concerts and movies alone all the time...why? Because friends generally don't like the music and movies I like. I mean, the last movie I saw in the theater was Burlesque, and I'm a huge Christina Aguilera fan. I don't know anybody who likes her, the way I do, so I had to go alone. Same with music, I saw Jimmy Eat World live, and my best friend doesn't even know any of their songs. They're one of my favorite bands, so I grabbed a ticket. No biggie. If I am craving Chinese food, or Indian food, or Mexican food, and all my friends are busy, am I going to go hungry? No. No, I'm going to get my butt out there, get in line, order what I want, and eat it there. And I have no shame in doing that, because I get to enjoy the food, and get to observe people rather than have to take part in a conversation. As an introvert and creative person, this is quite refreshing. And if someone sees me and wants to join me, that's cool, too. I would gladly pull out a seat.
glimmer Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Do you think it's highly unusual and rare for a very attractive and slender female who looks around 24-25 to eat by herself in a nice restaurant? Not five star restaurant but a restaurant where they have table cloth and cloth napkins instead of paper ones? And perhaps eating a meal of asparagus and scallops or even crab and oysters by herself? I'm not talking about an attractive woman eating while out on business. I am talking about eating in her hometown, around the area where she lives. I'm not very sociable, don't really want or enjoy company and don't have any gf's. Is it weird to go to nice restaurants alone? And not traveling either but around the cities where I live? Would you stare if you saw a woman eating alone? Would you wonder why she has no friends? Would you feel sorry for her? People like to say that other people don't pay attention to strangers and are too absorbed with their own surroundings to pay attention. However I disagree. If I was with people and I saw someone eating alone I WOULD notice. So it's not true that people are too self absorbed to notice. Some DO notice. I don't see why I should eat at home just cause I have no friends. I like to eat good food and be served. It's not ideal, in my honest opinion, but I do it sometimes. I don't want to miss out on experiencing places due to not having anyone to go with me! Tho, I don't think I have the nerve to do a dinner. Only breakfast or lunch. I've noticed that I'm never the only person in a place alone. A lot of people do it, and I don't see it as a big deal, if you're happy to be there. Now if you give off a lonely creepy vibe because you're not comfortable, then you might wanna skip it.
jane100 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Eating alone in a restaurant frequently means you are rich? Well, richer than me. So I tend to save my wining-and-dining for special/social occasions, thats the point I was making, I have nothing against eating alone, it can be very pleasant. I can't comment on $ meals because I live in Europe.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Well, richer than me. So I tend to save my wining-and-dining for special/social occasions, thats the point I was making. I live in Europe. Ok, I apologize. I didn't meant to sound snobby or condescending. And yes eating out in Europe is much more expensive than in the U.S.
january2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 If I really want to do something, I'll do it alone if I have to. That includes eating out. But I've found that it's just nicer to share experiences and also catch up with people at the same time. If I am sitting alone though, I don't worry about what other people think of me. I'm either too busy reading or people-watching to feel self-conscious. And I do see eating at a nice restaurant as a treat/event because otherwise, I'd be cooking and eating at home rather than have someone else cook for me, bring it to me when it's done and then do the washing up afterwards. It seems incongruous to me that that viewpoint should generate someone else's pity, which I think says more about their skewed worldview than it does mine.
jane100 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Ok, I apologize. I didn't meant to sound snobby or condescending. And yes eating out in Europe is much more expensive than in the U.S. No worries, accepted.
makelemonade1974 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I go out to eat by myself a lot. I usually bring work or reading with me though. I never thought people would feel sorry for me - wow. I just like good food. And I hate cooking.
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