seanmathews3 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 A few questions.. 1) Girlfriend and I broke up like 5 days ago.. long story short dated for 5 months but her feelings got kinda lost towards the end because of some mistakes we made..(seeing eachother too much.. not enough "me" time.. relationship was a little "routine" like because our schedules) we both want to go back to how things were in the beginning when we were both happy.. the last 2 weeks of the relationship we tried staying together and working things out but there was no progress.. so my next idea was to "start over" with her.. and that seems to be our only option but we were both thinking how do we go about that being afraid of things falling right back to how they were.. When i say start over i mean literally "hi im sean".. pretty much back to the way we first started talking.. but doing things a bit different and doing things right. Its just hard to talk her into giving it a shot since her fear is having things fall back to where they were.. any advice or thoughts on that? some more things i could say? second question 2)one mistake she did that led to a loss of feelings i believe is.. she measured time together with what feelings she should have.. for example "oh its been 3 months i should be feeling this.." "oh its 5 months i should be feeling this" on top of that she compared this relationship to a few of her past ones.. i told her you cant put a timeline on feelings.. they come when they are supposed to.. is there anything else i should explain to her so she can see where im coming from? we really do make a good couple.. no big fights and less than a handful of little arguments over 6 months
Bateman Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Its difficult for anyone to get those feelings back. It will not happen overnight. I believe it does happen, but I think it is very rare and usually takes some time away from each other. This may mean a period of no contact. That being said, too much time could result in someone moving on with someone else. It's very tricky. I think this is one of the most difficult situations in which you want to get back together. "The feelings aren't there anymore." Sounds like the honeymoon phase is over. You need to take time for yourself, and for her also. If she has compared you to her previous relationships then what's to stop her from doing it again? She obviously has felt ways in her previous relationships that she does not feel with you. (i.e. "oh, its been 3 months, I should be feeling this.) If she's not feeling it, then she's not feeling it. sorry. The odds are against you. Sorry to say. I've been down this path before. The only option right now, is to at least "act" like you are moving on. Hope this helps.
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