Leeway Harris Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I'm not a person who has a lot of pictures of myself. All I have are the self-portraits (not in front of the bathroom mirror, I put the camera on top of the refrigerator and set the timer). They're not great shots. I see these ads on for professional photographers who take pictures for people to put on their online dating profiles. Is that weird? The pictures are all-important, I know we don't kid ourselves about that here. Would most women think less of a man who had professional photos taken of himself for a dating site? What if you started dating a man from the site, and found out later that the first picture you saw of him was taken by a professional? Would you think he was... I don't know, a sissy or something? I doubt it would bother most people if a woman went to a professional photographer. Women are "allowed" to be more vain than men in that regard. So what do you think?
curlygirl40 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 If all of the pictures of you that you put on the web are professionally taken, like head shots in front of a backdrop, I think that would be a little strange. How about instead you get used to carrying a camera around with you and have friends take candid pictures of you while you're doing activities. Go out to a club with friends? Out to a bar with buddies? Bowling? Hiking? Working? Have someone snap a pic. Or even if you fake it a little. As an example. There was this one guy from match that I went out with. He had several pictures on his profile. One was him sitting at a bar (that you could tell was in someone's basement). One of him playing pool. One of him playing darts. One he was outside like he was chopping wood and someone took a pic. He confessed to me later that his Sister in law staged all of those pics in the same day for his profile. He changed outfits and she put him in front of different places doing different things. But they looked natural. Hope this helps. I have a neighbor who is a photographer and she's taken many pics of me for my profile. But they are always natural looking. Like while we're with friends. Or we go to a park or something and they are taken outside. They aren't just head shots. Same idea but natural looking. Good luck!
Author Leeway Harris Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Thanks curlygirl40. I don't have friends who would do this for me without it being awkward and weird (I know, maybe I need better friends). But the pros who take dating photos don't concentrate on "head shot" type pictures. They try to make it look natural, just like your friend's sister-in-law. They tell you to bring a few outfits and they'll shoot you in a few different settings, so it looks like the shots are candid. When the guy told you that his sister-in-law took all the pictures in the same day, did you feel misled in any way? By putting up those photos, he implied that he had people in his life who wanted to take pictures of him, presumably for non-dating purposes. How did you feel when you found out he had to fake that?
jane100 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Sometimes professional photos can look a bit "weird" though. I am not convinced they look natural. Unless you have a good photographer, they can look like business or wedding photos! However, a good photo is an absolute imperative for a man, so you are absolutely right to try and get this right. Alot of men online have terrible photos and it is very offputting. It might take a bit of effort, and asking a friend or relative, even if it is embarrassing, but needs must sometimes?
Author Leeway Harris Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Thanks to both of you for your responses, I guess this wasn't a very popular topic. jane100, I find that this isn't something people want to help their friends with. I could get friends to help me move to a new apartment, no problem. But helping someone with their love and/or sex life is like another level. And awkward feelings do not produce good photos. My sister has offered in the past. She even has some professional experience taking portraits for people - headshots, candids, and artistic portraits. It'd seem like a no-brainer that she would do it, but I can't get her to commit to it. Basically I don't have a lot of reliable people in my life. Whatever, I'm only toying with the idea of trying online dating again anyway, but what I'm hearing is that under no circumstances should I get a professional to take pictures of me for this purpose, because it would look stupid and only a desperate loser would do something like that anyway. Do I have that right?
jane100 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 jane100, I find that this isn't something people want to help their friends with. I could get friends to help me move to a new apartment, no problem. But helping someone with their love and/or sex life is like another level. And awkward feelings do not produce good photos. .... Whatever, I'm only toying with the idea of trying online dating again anyway, but what I'm hearing is that under no circumstances should I get a professional to take pictures of me for this purpose, because it would look stupid and only a desperate loser would do something like that anyway. Do I have that right? Yes, I do see what you mean more clearly. Actually, taking "dating" photos I suppose is quite an intimate thing, thats probably why your friends are a little reluctant or you are a little awkward. Understood, also from my own experience. If not straightforward or possible with your sister etc, I see no reason not to get a professional photographer. If you tell the photographer whats it for i.e. its not for a job, and you don't want it too cheesy, you might actually get some really good results! And I doubt it would be that expensive. I have seen a few professional photos on dating websites that were good but they were a bit "different", creative (note: to myself of this good idea!)The worst ones are where the guys look like CEOs from the 1950s, lol! More power to you for putting effort into this - it really is important! Good luck.
johan Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Seems like a waste of money to me. I just recommend a couple of pictures taken from your webcam, and a few you take of yourself via the bathroom mirror, shirt optional. If you have any from a decade or so ago, use them. Lighting is not important. Blurry is good, because it obscures your blemishes, and no one picks up on that. Also people tend to look a better as the picture size gets smaller, so thumbnails can be your friend. Good luck!
jane100 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) Seems like a waste of money to me. I just recommend a couple of pictures taken from your webcam, and a few you take of yourself via the bathroom mirror, shirt optional. If you have any from a decade or so ago, use them. Lighting is not important. Blurry is good, because it obscures your blemishes, and no one picks up on that. Also people tend to look a better as the picture size gets smaller, so thumbnails can be your friend. Good luck! Oooooo, what don't i disagree with in this . But maybe you are being humourous? 1. The bathroom mirror picture - passion killer straight up! 2. Old photos and blurry photos - only if you want to waste everyone's time, including your own, and your feelings won't be spared when the woman is not impressed by what she sees in reality. You need a clear photos. I avoid blurry now, as from experience I know the man is hiding something. The same with thumbnail. I don't think you can fool people so easily. 3. You don't have to be drop dead gorgeous, just an honest (but obviously flattering photograph that shows you at your best). Edited February 27, 2011 by jane100
curlygirl40 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Sorry it took me so long to get back to this thread. OP, I didn't really think too much about that guy who told me his SIL took those pictures. I didn't feel mislead. When I look at pictures what I want to see is who the guy is. Chopping wood, playing pool with friends, a couple with his kids. I was o.k with all of that. The last thing I think about is 'wow he must have a lot of great friends who took those pictures', then feel mislead when I found out the same person took them. Make sense? I looked at a guy's profile on match yesterday and he looked like a professional model. I don't mean like great looking, I mean he was posing in all of the pictures like he was trying to sell something. It looked cheesy and weird. So don't do that. But yet hiring a professional photographer to take some natural shots might not be a bad idea if it can look natural and not posed. Make sure the pics are out and about doing things you would normally do. Not like in front of a sheet or something. And IMO, pics in front of your car, shirtless, flexing anything, blech! Hey easter is coming, maybe you can get your picture taken at the mall with the easter bunny. Best of luck
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