innocenteyes Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Nearly a year ago me and my boyfriend at the time split up after a 2 year relationship this was difficult enough as he was pretty angry towards me due to me never wanting children. Since our break up he got into a relationship with my so called best friend( her words not mine) Obviously I was very upset about the situation as I believed neither would do something like this to me. They both claim I was so special to them. I have no contact with either of them now and they are still together 6 months on). This has also meant that nearly all my other friends in London I don't really see now as they are mutual friends with the ex and her. I just can't bare to hear stuff about them two and how happy they are and I know what I say will likely get back to them so I just have to not see any of them. Which has left me angry about how they've treated me and virtually nobody to turn to locally. I do want to stop it from eating away at me and just be happy. How does this happen? Its hard to go out meeting new people when your not in the best place confidence wise. I was thinking that my so called best friend would have supported me after my break up but she decided to support my ex instead.
Author innocenteyes Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Maybe this should be in coping but I want to also want to start going out again and putting all that rubbish behind me and be happy once more. I do find it hard in social situations being a shy person and having no support locally behind me any more. Any advice would be very welcome.
iwanttolive Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Maybe you could let your friends know that you are still trying to heal and request their supports not to breathe a word about your ex and his partner. Now you are focusing all your energy on "how happy they are", you probably forget to live for yourself and how happy you can be as well. You were with him for two years. Sometimes you forget who you really are as an individual and what makes you truly happy. For me is going to the beach, looking toned and tanned in my bikini, hangout at a nice cafe reading a book. Do find yourself again! Take care..
iwanttolive Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 And to add to my earlier post, people are not as happy as they seem to be. I have a friend who's born to a totally wealthy family. She has all the money to do whatever she wants in life. But her mom is suffering from extreme depression. I'm not a wealthy person, but I'm the only child and my parents could give me whatever that I want. But guess what? I live in fear of the day when they are gone because I don't have any other family in this world. So don't be fooled by surface appearances. Find peace in your inner self. I personally think we are lucky in this day and age. We have professional counsellor, all the self-help materials, virtual supports like LS if there are no friends you could trust. Plenty of entertainment and we live sufficiently... I hope you could get through this.. I am unhappy about my job right now. I just couldn't find the passion in my work and I have not been promoted for a long long time. Then I discovered that I've been psycho-ing myself to love the job and I've come to the point of exhaustion after 5 years. Now that I have some savings, I've decided to forego following society path (i.e. get married, buy a house and car, have kids and work until i'm 60). I'm gonna leave my country and study my dream job as an oceanologist. I could not do it last time as I felt I needed to be responsible to my parents and study something safe (Business Administration). Not meant to hijack your thread, just sharing...
Author innocenteyes Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 I know from past experience it will get back to them, what I say. These mutual friends are really close to my ex and her. His best mate, her ex of 8 years, a guy she was seeing after the 8 year guy and another guy that seems to be out with them a lot recently. I just know I'm best just to make a fresh start from them all...well for now anyway until I no longer care and wouldn't sound bitter talking about them. I have good friends in other cities/countries but that doesn't help my social life and recovery in London. I've been doing a lot at home trying to get myself to a better place. Baking, Exercise, watching motivational films, having clear outs, self development websites, me days, leaning the keyboard all these things are helping me but still I'm struggling with what has happened and how to totally move forward as I don't have people in my life in human form(if that makes sense). I'm glad you said that about people not always being as happy as they might seem. I know she always seemed happy with ex but the story she used to tell me was very different so that helps me a bit. iwanttolive well done I'm glad you are going to try and do something that will make you happy instead of following societies path. So many people just do the same thing...I'm not one of them either well not the children and car part of it. My ex could never understand why I just didn't want children. Thank you for your helpful words.
Recommended Posts