Surviving your Sexual Peak

[Titania22]

Yeah quite possibly, however I got the idea from your post that you were really desperate. So I wrote down the boldest thing I could come up with, short of standing naked alongside a road with a sign that says "f*ck me".

 

LOL, sorry for this.

 

It's ok, I wasn't trying to purposely ignore you, I just had no idea how to respond. I did however take an action I otherwise wouldn't have taken, so we will see if that to anything good. If it does you get props for giving me the push.

[ascendotum]

cry my cries out lol.

 

I definitely expect that your 'working out heaps' especially if you use weights would be elevating your dhea + testosterone levels, and would likely be amplifying your horniness, but not from a KJoule deficit. I find it strange that the more you do it the more you want it, though I did have a girlfriend mid 30s like this (great...initially).

Sorry but as a guy I cant offer anything better than what you are already doing, masterbation + gym workouts (but do more cardio), or putting in more hours at work. I wish I had a post sex bounce back of only a couple of minutes.

IDK - you could get a prescription for a SSRI, many users report diminshed desire for sex, as a side effect. Switch jobs to something that is more demanding + stressful. There are plenty of kinky couples who advertise for woman for a 3some who would love to have regular encounters with you.

 

I FAIL at getting a guy who is willing to make the money commitment to have sex on a regular basis

 

...what's this mean?

 

One guy I didn't mention on here I met 4months ago had sex with me twice and then wanted me to pay for it..

 

Huh!!! I am pretty sure I have seen a photo of you on LS before. You have longish blond hair yes? If you are who I am thinking of..yes you are 'pretty decent looking one at that'. I am stunned that you are having trouble finding a regular fwb let alone a bf, and in a city the size of Syndey. WTH!

[Titania22]

 

I FAIL at getting a guy who is willing to make the money commitment to have sex on a regular basis

 

That was a typo, time commitment not money commitment

 

 

Huh!!! I am pretty sure I have seen a photo of you on LS before. You have longish blond hair yes? If you are who I am thinking of..yes you are 'pretty decent looking one at that'. I am stunned that you are having trouble finding a regular fwb let alone a bf, and in a city the size of Syndey. WTH!

 

Yes that's me. And yes it's strange, maybe it's because it's a really expensive city, and everyone is too busy working to pay the rent. IDK

A boyfriend is a nice idea, but even in my last LTR, my boyfriend didn't want to have sex, wouldn't sex with me for the last 12mths of the relationship. I am starting to thinking guys wanting lots of sex is just a perpetuated myth.

[Titania22]

BTW Since on other thread guys have talked about girls measurements and girls have sometimes posted theirs, and I never have. As of a few hours ago my measurements in inches were chest 35.5, waist 30.5 and hips 40.5.

[Knittress]

BTW Since on other thread guys have talked about girls measurements and girls have sometimes posted theirs, and I never have. As of a few hours ago my measurements in inches were chest 35.5, waist 30.5 and hips 40.5.

 

Classic pear! :>/ Are you seeking validation from the internet? But you're so much cooler than that! Why don't you browse some online sex toy boutiques? I like to do that sometimes when I'm horny.

[somedude81]

i never wanted sex before 27

I know it's not the point of this thread; but that statement really stuck out to me.

 

I wonder how many other women feel/felt the same way.

 

Do young women simply not get horny?

[J200]

I know it's not the point of this thread; but that statement really stuck out to me.

 

I wonder how many other women feel/felt the same way.

 

Do young women simply not get horny?

 

Not me, I was horny and watching porn already at 18, 19... lol . It was vhs back then before the internet. I was horny but I was celibate from around 19-27. Seriously. My first bf went to jail and I actually thought it was a good idea to wait for him. lol

 

I started being horny when I was young actually... like junior high...i got caught calling phone sex lines...

Edited February 27, 2011 by J200

[Knittress]

I wonder how many other women feel/felt the same way.

 

Do young women simply not get horny?

 

I think it totally depends on the person, but yeah - this isn't so uncommon for women like it would be for a man. I think a lot of women start off having sex for emotional reasons but then gradually learn to enjoy it physically. I can't speak for everyone, but for me sensuality and sexual response was a skill I had to cultivate.

[mustofbeen]

i only get like that after working out for few days in a row

[Titania22]

Classic pear! :>/ Are you seeking validation from the internet? But you're so much cooler than that! Why don't you browse some online sex toy boutiques? I like to do that sometimes when I'm horny.

 

That's a good idea, I guess. I don't know about the validation thing, but I do know I didn't want the implication that I am somehow not attractive or letting myself go. I have worked hard to look good, mostly before I feel better in myself, but also because of the possibility of attracting favourable sexual experiences into my life.

 

I know it's not the point of this thread; but that statement really stuck out to me.

 

I wonder how many other women feel/felt the same way.

 

Do young women simply not get horny?

 

I can't really speak for other women, but one thing I have heard more then once from other women my age or older (when we can finally be honest with ourselves and other about our actual feelings about sex), is that they realise they don't really like sex. They women tended to have alot of it when they were younger (than 27) and I think they tricked themselves into thinking they liked it or wanted it because there is pressure in society not to be seen as frigid, and finally after doing it for years, they come to accept that they don't like it. Rather then be as these women I accepted I didn't like it, I was married to a psychopath and had to do it every 72hrs anyone to avoid getting beaten up, but I didn't pretend to want it more then I did, and slowly over these years my natural desires have slowly awakened, without any pressure. I have spent many of the years since my married ended completely celibate, or maybe having sex once or twice a year. Last year, was my most sexual, actively interested in it every couple of months (not necessarily finding it every time), and this year is just off the charts so far.

[J200]

That's a good idea, I guess. I don't know about the validation thing, but I do know I didn't want the implication that I am somehow not attractive or letting myself go. I have worked hard to look good, mostly before I feel better in myself, but also because of the possibility of attracting favourable sexual experiences into my life.

 

 

I haven't let myself go either. I'm a size 00 and weigh 90 lbs. However I'm a hair under 5'ft though. I get rated a 9-10 on HotorNot and yea it's lame but I did post my pics on other forums for people to guess my age and most guess me early to mid twenties.

[Titania22]

I haven't let myself go either. I'm a size 00 and weigh 90 lbs. However I'm a hair under 5'ft though. I get rated a 9-10 on HotorNot and yea it's lame but I did post my pics on other forums for people to guess my age and most guess me early to mid twenties.

 

Yes I believe that.

 

On here I have read multiple times that hot women are rarely hit upon, whilst slightly less than hot women get lots of attention, but based of that I have been unable to work out if I would be classified in the hot category. I don't suppose it matters, but each time I read a hot girl thread on here it get me wondering, where do guys classify me. I will be curious when I start uni later this year, and am studying with 18-19yr olds, what kind of attention I will receive. It could either be an exercise in severe sexual frustration (for me) or possibly finding the satisfaction I so desire.

[J200]

Yes I believe that.

 

On here I have read multiple times that hot women are rarely hit upon, whilst slightly less than hot women get lots of attention, but based of that I have been unable to work out if I would be classified in the hot category. I don't suppose it matters, but each time I read a hot girl thread on here it get me wondering, where do guys classify me. I will be curious when I start uni later this year, and am studying with 18-19yr olds, what kind of attention I will receive. It could either be an exercise in severe sexual frustration (for me) or possibly finding the satisfaction I so desire.

 

When I see someone approaching me I will give them "mean looks" and "bad vibes" so they don't approach me or I will turn away. If someone starts a conversation I don't respond and ignore them. I realize that's not helpful if I want to meet a guy for fun. Even though I want some fun I still have an "icy exterior"; I've just always been this way. I have an unfriendly attitude and I'm not friendly; that's the reason why I don't meet anyone and when I do get approached I simply walk away.

 

When I'm in the grocery store or a random place when someone looks like they are about to approach me I'm usually irritable) because of all the people around me) and not in the mood at all. I'm only in the mood when I'm at home or at work etc.

[Beaver Bob]

Wow that can be a problem, however me personally I seemed to always had a way to MB and please myself. There was a few times that didn't seem to do the trick and I had to find a FB (fuxx buddy). We used to call it "dinner and a fuxx" it lasted a year or so but then she thought we were a couple and wanted a key....what would the GF say? I married the GF and deep 6 the FB.

BB

[LittleTiger]

So you're 38 and single? Is that right? How long have you been single? How long since you had a satisfying, loving sexual relationship?

 

Whilst I agree that sex drive increases for many women as they get older, I suspect it has more to do with a need for intimacy than orgasms - hence the reason masturbation doesn't scratch the itch.

 

I think what you're craving isn't 'sex' in the way a man craves it - what you're craving could be physical contact and intimate closeness.

 

I'd guess that what you really want is a close sexual relationship with someone who actually cares - hence one night stands don't scratch the itch either.

 

My desire for sex has definitely increased as I've got older and when I was single briefly after my marriage ended I was going around giving off an 'I want sex' vibe. I had no shortage of men to pick from but I'm not the ONS type so I picked a FWB. It worked for a while and the sex was great but it still wasn't enough.

 

Now I'm 46 and in a great relationship. My sex drive is higher than it's ever been BUT my partner and I are apart for months at a time so sometimes I have to go without. Even with my sex drive at it's peak I manage fine because when I get 'sex' it provides me with what I need until the next time. It's not ideal and I do get frustrated but I'm not fantically masturbating to fill the 'void'.

 

Of course, you may be entirely different but what you've said so far rang a few bells for me so I thought I'd post it as another angle to consider.

[Titania22]

I see what your saying Little Tiger, and I agree with you that I want intimate sex. But in general life I get heaps of intimacy from my children, good clean nonsexual intimacy.

 

ONS don't scratch the itch, because I need really good sex, and that only comes with a partner who is making an effort. In an ONS situation, there is no reason for the guy to care about anything other than his own satisfaction. Also there is the matter of endowment, most guys I have come across under average in size, so it really doesn't matter what they do, they are hardly going to satisfy me any more than masturbation would.

 

You asked How long since you had a satisfying, loving sexual relationship?

 

and I answer I have had 2 major relationships in my life, the last one was loving and ended 3yrs ago, but it wasn't sexually satisfying because my partner refused to have sex with me. So it had lots of intimacy and was very frustrating. The 1st one was just a nightmare.

[bac]

The best way to get rid of sex drive completely for a female is to make her brains busy with smth else but not with sex. I mean smth intellectual and demanding like going to college, having a very demanding job.

I have heard that it does not work out well for males because looking at college girls makes them even more horny. But, it works out great for females.

Also, it helps stop masterbating at all. It is good to have some external reason which would not allow you to masterbate.

 

Finding a horny FWBs/NSA would not help as well. Finding a husband would help to lower your libido but you might have low libido only for your husband but not for other males.

 

IMO, ONS's guys are trying to do their best job.

They perform the best they can. It depends on a guy's personality, if he is willing to satisfy a woman sexually.

Edited February 27, 2011 by bac

[LittleTiger]

I see what your saying Little Tiger, and I agree with you that I want intimate sex. But in general life I get heaps of intimacy from my children, good clean nonsexual intimacy.

 

That's wonderful, you're very lucky and you are a sexually mature adult with adult needs too. Sexual love and intimacy are, as we all know, very different from the love and intimacy we receive from (or give to) our children.

 

I don't know how old your children are but imagine 20yrs from now one of them has children of their own but no relationship and tells you what you've just told us. What would you want for them? Would you tell them they should be ok without a loving sexual relationship because they've got their children?

 

ONS don't scratch the itch, because I need really good sex, and that only comes with a partner who is making an effort. In an ONS situation, there is no reason for the guy to care about anything other than his own satisfaction. Also there is the matter of endowment, most guys I have come across under average in size, so it really doesn't matter what they do, they are hardly going to satisfy me any more than masturbation would.

 

Again, you are focusing on scratching a physical itch. I think it's unlikely your itch is 'physical'. If you were to meet a man who loved you and was attentive to your every need in bed (regardless of the size of his penis!) I would be willing to bet you would be more than satisfied.

 

You asked How long since you had a satisfying, loving sexual relationship?

 

and I answer I have had 2 major relationships in my life, the last one was loving and ended 3yrs ago, but it wasn't sexually satisfying because my partner refused to have sex with me. So it had lots of intimacy and was very frustrating. The 1st one was just a nightmare.

 

So what you're saying is you have never had a loving sexual relationship? Isn't it possible then that this is what you are really craving? In a few years you'll be 40 and you're very aware that something is missing from your life - something besides the love and affection of your children.

 

Sex is similar to food, I think. When we have a craving for eg chocolate, but we're supposed to be on a diet, we may eat an apple or a banana instead because we think we're just hungry. How often does that apple or banana satisfy the craving? How often do we still feel 'hungry' and go looking for something else - maybe a couple of boiled sweets because they're lower in calories than chocolate but they just might fill the need that's not being met?

 

We could eat until we get indigestion but that craving probably won't go away.... and that's because what we're craving is chocolate and our bodies and our brains are telling us that nothing but chocolate will do.

 

So I don't think it's your increasing sex drive that's the problem, I think it's your building desire for something you currently don't have - and maybe have never had.

[Titania22]

The best way to get rid of sex drive completely for a female is to make her brains busy with smth else but not with sex. I mean smth intellectual and demanding like going to college, having a very demanding job.

I have heard that it does not work out well for males because looking at college girls makes them even more horny. But, it works out great for females.

Also, it helps stop masterbating at all. It is good to have some external reason which would not allow you to masterbate.

 

Finding a horny FWBs/NSA would not help as well. Finding a husband would help to lower your libido but you might have low libido only for your husband but not for other males.

 

IMO, ONS's guys are trying to do their best job.

They perform the best they can. It depends on a guy's personality, if he is willing to satisfy a woman sexually.

 

That's wonderful, you're very lucky and you are a sexually mature adult with adult needs too. Sexual love and intimacy are, as we all know, very different from the love and intimacy we receive from (or give to) our children.

 

I don't know how old your children are but imagine 20yrs from now one of them has children of their own but no relationship and tells you what you've just told us. What would you want for them? Would you tell them they should be ok without a loving sexual relationship because they've got their children?

 

 

 

Again, you are focusing on scratching a physical itch. I think it's unlikely your itch is 'physical'. If you were to meet a man who loved you and was attentive to your every need in bed (regardless of the size of his penis!) I would be willing to bet you would be more than satisfied.

 

 

 

So what you're saying is you have never had a loving sexual relationship? Isn't it possible then that this is what you are really craving? In a few years you'll be 40 and you're very aware that something is missing from your life - something besides the love and affection of your children.

 

Sex is similar to food, I think. When we have a craving for eg chocolate, but we're supposed to be on a diet, we may eat an apple or a banana instead because we think we're just hungry. How often does that apple or banana satisfy the craving? How often do we still feel 'hungry' and go looking for something else - maybe a couple of boiled sweets because they're lower in calories than chocolate but they just might fill the need that's not being met?

 

We could eat until we get indigestion but that craving probably won't go away.... and that's because what we're craving is chocolate and our bodies and our brains are telling us that nothing but chocolate will do.

 

So I don't think it's your increasing sex drive that's the problem, I think it's your building desire for something you currently don't have - and maybe have never had.

 

 

Thankyou bac and LittleTiger for your suggestions, I think they are really good, and food for thought. I am going to take both of your advice to heart.

 

Thankyou to everyone who left a comment, it is good to know that my feelings are normal, but also to have some idea what to do about it. I skipped my pump class today. And my kitchen got flooded and my computer crashed with viruses, and while fixing all this this morning I didn't think about sex once, so I think preoccupying myself is definately a good idea. I also applied this morning to help with the next election (not because i care about politics, but because it will give me more to do and earn me some needed cash).

[Els]

Holy crap. I would hate for mine to increase, so I'm crossing my fingers hoping that it's all just a myth..

[musemaj11]

 

I don't do anything violent or anything, but I can picture myself going crazy with a machine gun killing everyone, or punching a wall, or just plain throwing a 2yr olds tantrum on the floor kicking and punching. Generally I would just put extra weights on my bar next time I do pump class, and exhaust myself so much that i have to sleep as soon as I get home. Plus I have taken up drinking. I don't even like alcohol.

Your feeling of aggressiveness is a clue that it is indeed testosterone related. As someone already said, your estrogen probably decreased with age while the testosterone stays.

 

Anyway, can you imagine that men, especially young men have three times higher testosterone than you do right now? Can you imagine what they are going through?

 

Also I find it hilarious that ironically it tends to be other women who cannot accept that some women are just very sexual and insist that there must be underlying psychological issues. I mean these women are so sad. They probably think that since they are never horny, other women must not be horny either and if they are, they must have problems. :laugh:

[LittleTiger]

Also I find it hilarious that ironically it tends to be other women who cannot accept that some women are just very sexual and insist that there must be underlying psychological issues. I mean these women are so sad. They probably think that since they are never horny, other women must not be horny either and if they are, they must have problems. :laugh:

 

Erm, excuse me. I'm one of the women who is saying there are other 'needs' behind her sex drive - and I have a sex drive that is through the roof.

 

There is a world of difference between the male and female sex drive and what causes it - it's not all about testosterone (not even for men).

 

It's a shame you misunderstand women's posts because you have so much to learn about them.

[Spices]

Interesting. All the stunning & attractive looking woman I know can't walk down the street without being ogled at or hit on. I find it kind of hard to believe that an attractive person would never get hit on or have trouble getting laid. I know a lot of outgoing guys who have to talk to the hottest girl in the room... it's almost like they can't help it.

 

I am very shy & reserved and I generally keep to myself but I still get hit on a lot. I actually find it kind of annoying because I'm not the most social person in the world, and I find that stuff to be kind of awkward. To be quite honest, I don't like walking by myself in a club, bar, or heavy social atmosphere without a guy or girl friend as a bodyguard, lol.

Edited February 28, 2011 by Spices

[Cee]

I survived a 4 year period of celibacy in my mid-30s by channeling my energy into socializing and dancing. I was voluntarily celibate so that helped. I did it because I was unhealthy in my relationships and needed to spend time working on myself.

 

Also, OP, ask yourself if sex is what you really want. For me, I was more starved for physical affection than sex. Masturbation is perfectly satisfying to the sex drive, but it does very little for one's needs for intimacy and closeness.

 

By the way, the sexual thermostat will go down if you stop masturbating. I know that sounds completely horrible, but it works. And there is no harm done by that. The sex drive picks right back up when you start getting off again.

[Titania22]

Interesting. All the stunning & attractive looking woman I know can't walk down the street without being ogled at or hit on. I find it kind of hard to believe that an attractive person would never get hit on or have trouble getting laid. I know a lot of outgoing guys who have to talk to the hottest girl in the room... it's almost like they can't help it.

 

I am very shy & reserved and I generally keep to myself but I still get hit on a lot. I actually find it kind of annoying because I'm not the most social person in the world, and I find that stuff to be kind of awkward. To be quite honest, I don't like walking by myself in a club, bar, or heavy social atmosphere without a guy or girl friend as a bodyguard, lol.

 

I think the city I live in might be a factor, and we're not talking about getting ONS, if I were ho like, like that I could get sex every night of the week, but to me that feels really disgusting. It has been brought to my attention by numerous different women that this is probably the wrong place to meet a long term man. There are no shortage of beautiful women here. If even the nerdy geek guys here want to keep there options open, I think that gives some idea. Unfortunately I am stuck here until my kids grow up.