AKO87 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) This is possibly just a rant than anything else, but I appreciate feedback because I feel like crap. (sorry for the length) My ex and I broke up officially over a year ago. We still hung out some, texted, and had "intimate" relations afterwards though (neither of us have dated since). Basically what changed were the titles we applied, the expectations, and the frequency with which we saw each other. She moved to another state for work about 6 months ago and nothing really changed except a decrease in how much we slept together. We still talk/text a few times a week and we've been "intimate" during times she came back to visit her family. Well about a week ago she told me some guy had asked her out, but she said she would think about it. She still has strong residual feelings for me (she would have said yes if I asked her to marry me), and so I told her she shouldn't put her life on hold for me when she told me. It's kind of implied that she's taking him up on the offer, and based on our conversations the last week and my own feelings I sent her a text Thursday night. The text basically said what she thought of us ceasing communications now that one of us one dating to prevent any complications. She responded she didn't want to, but we talked later and I explained my reasoning in a very logical manner. She cried and didn't want to but took it as something she had to accept. - For anyone interested in what I said. I listed two problems that each affected one of us. The first being how appropriate it would be for two people who have dated and continued relations like we have to remain in close contact now that one of us is dating. The second being my feelings and thoughts. I can admit that I'm human in this regard we all want what we can't have, and honestly I have a hard time imagining her doing things in her new relationship that we used to do together. I recognize this as jealousy and I know it's irrational as we haven't officially been together in over a year, but I know me and it isn't something I can change. So my solution for both problems was to just remove the "us" from the equation. It would remove any complications she may have with her new relationship with me being a factor and it removes the somewhat inevitable thoughts that might invade my mind when we talk - Anyways, I've felt terrible since we ended our conversation. I don't like making her cry and she was one of my best friends, in fact this decision basically is going to cut my phone texts/calls in half. So I've definitely lost a friend, and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't want to not be friends with her anymore, and I've even considered calling her back to try and work things out between us. I recognize a lot of this as jealousy though and it would just be unfair to her. Especially since I know I've been looking for a relationship as well, my ability in that regards notwithstanding. So all of these complications were inevitable one way or another and I can't help but think that this was the best solution. I keep having to resist the urge to take it back though Well I think I've made my self look like enough of a jerk here lol. I still appreciate any feedback though. Edited February 26, 2011 by AKO87
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