Els Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 You should definitely go to the party. What she is asking for is unreasonable. It would be one thing if you were going, just for the hell of it. But it's your best friend from HS! I'd say that she's being very unreasonable. Which is why I really think they should do in with the 'tradition' of having bachelor's parties at strip clubs. Most of the decent men are going to be caught in a dilemma not because they want to go to a strip club, but because they don't want to let their friends down. So the 'tradition' puts them in a very hard place. Where I come from, 'bachelor's party' typically just involves club night or hanging at a friend's house with drinks and possibly some raunchy movies. Noone ever had trouble with not going because their gfs were unhappy, assuming they had sane gfs. Girl is happy, guy is happy, groom is happy.
SmileFace Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Oh please, if a guy can't go to a strip club and not end up banging some chick at the end. That is his fault not the tradition of bachelor parties at strip clubs. My bff likes male strip clubs . I can't stand them but I know for her baccalaureate party I will be the one booking them. If my SO at the time has a problem with it - well he better deal with it. If he doesn't trust me enough - he doesn't deserve. Same in this case . sigh
Els Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Oh please, if a guy can't go to a strip club and not end up banging some chick at the end. That is his fault not the tradition of bachelor parties at strip clubs. My bff likes male strip clubs . I can't stand them but I know for her baccalaureate party I will be the one booking them. If my SO at the time has a problem with it - well he better deal with it. If he doesn't trust me enough - he doesn't deserve. Same in this case . sigh We'll just have to agree to disagree then. I would have no problem skipping a night of male strippers to spare my bf the anguish over them, although I would definitely try to make it up to my friend in any way possible during her wedding.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Lol the anguish. Maybe you both need to be secure in your relationships.
Els Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Different people have different ideas of what is proper behaviour in an R, and you'd better get that. You may not be okay with your girl pole dancing nude, but some girls are okay with their guys stripping. You may not be okay with your girl sleeping around, but some guys even crave MMF threesomes. So, you're less secure than them, eh? Or wait, those girls are just sluts and you have every right to be affronted? Equally so, some people have trouble with their SO going and getting lapdances from nude people of the opposite sex. My opinion is, if it affects them that badly and I don't even want it very much, I'm giving in. It's called logic.
SmileFace Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 We'll just have to agree to disagree then.. Agreed ;-)
Els Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) The thing I find strangest is that people often seem to think that THEIR standard of 'acceptable behaviour in a relationship' is THE yardstick, and that any other couple who disagrees with it, well, are pansies, insecure, etc. If a guy has a right to be affronted by his gf wanting to be a stripper and tell her not to, he has no right to call another guy a pansy for not seeing strippers because his gf doesn't want him to. Unless he doesn't mind people telling his gf she's being 'controlled' for respecting him and not showing her nude body off, just because THOSE people don't mind it. Edited February 28, 2011 by Elswyth
Author flyfishin Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I had to jump in here to defend myself. I'm getting a lot of bashing from guys calling me a pansy and even someone said I didn't go so I can keep my sex supply going w/my girlfriend and saying vagina is worst than crack cocaine...lmfao some of you are really funny... Saying I handed my balls over on a silver platter is very funny. I made the right move and avoided b.s. I'm definitely a "looker" or at least I've been told so trouble in finding women was never a problem of mine bro. So it has nothing to do w/me keeping my "sex supply" goibg. Evethough my girl is easily a 9.5 or 10 hands down! I stand w/my decision and I'm good, you're girls maybe really ugly and u know u may have needed to go to the strip club to fantasize what being w/ a realy sexy lady is instead of the mutt u are laid up with right now lol. I made the right choice my boy understood my girl is on the same page and life goes on. No biggie
Els Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I had to jump in here to defend myself. I'm getting a lot of bashing from guys calling me a pansy and even someone said I didn't go so I can keep my sex supply going w/my girlfriend and saying vagina is worst than crack cocaine...lmfao some of you are really funny... Saying I handed my balls over on a silver platter is very funny. I made the right move and avoided b.s. I'm definitely a "looker" or at least I've been told so trouble in finding women was never a problem of mine bro. So it has nothing to do w/me keeping my "sex supply" goibg. Evethough my girl is easily a 9.5 or 10 hands down! I stand w/my decision and I'm good, you're girls maybe really ugly and u know u may have needed to go to the strip club to fantasize what being w/ a realy sexy lady is instead of the mutt u are laid up with right now lol. I made the right choice my boy understood my girl is on the same page and life goes on. No biggie Don't worry. Those people are likely the same ones who would be telling their mates, "You go, boy, she needs to learn to respect you" when their mates make a big deal over their gf having lunch with a male friend. Apparently everyone should be okay with anything THEY are okay with, and not okay with anything they are not okay with.
SmileFace Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Saying I handed my balls over on a silver platter is very funny. I made the right move and avoided b.s. I'm definitely a "looker" or at least I've been told so trouble in finding women was never a problem of mine bro. I am a chick, no Bro. However, I don't see what anyone said has to do with you being a looker. The point is the strip club - not going to the strip club to find good looking girls. The point is that you missed a fun night out with your friends - since your girlfriend couldn't trust you enough to go to a strip club. That is the point. If you are happy that you didn't go. I am happy for you. However what I said still stands, shrugs.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I'm pretty sure homeboy's girl is a 9.5 or a 10 hands down....yeah okay. That's why she's stressin' over some busted ass strippers right my dude? Please fam, you just missed out on a fun night cause you couldn't man up to ya gal. On top of that, if you really were a looker, and I mean truly, you wouldn't have been so eager to please her and bend over backwards to make her happy out of fear of losing her. No need to reply my dude, what's done is done. The two of you are happy, that's what matters right? Right. But don't even try to play cats like we're over here laid up with busted ass broads because we got a spine. You should grow one.
Author flyfishin Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Shut that **** up fam, you weak. Stop playing yourself bro...u r laid up with ya mutt right now sneak dissing here on a forum online forum...u replying to everyones post on here bro..too much time on ya hands to be on here hating...u prob don't even got a mutt single ass loser...go get some p*sssy and get over loveshack being ya hobby playing dr.phil fam
sweetjasmine Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 The point is that you missed a fun night out with your friends - since your girlfriend couldn't trust you enough to go to a strip club. I can't speak for his girlfriend, but it's not necessarily about trust. For me, for example, it's not that I think he'll end up in an alley screwing 5 strippers while high on coke or something absurd like that. It's that we both consider it inappropriate for someone in a committed exclusive relationship to go to a strip club. Or to go drinking and clubbing until 3 am without our partner. It's not really a trust issue or insecurity issue: we simply consider those things a bit disrespectful when in a serious relationship. Just a personal preference, and like Elswyth pointed out, different couples have different boundaries. There are couples out there who find it inappropriate for their partners to grab a quick lunch with an ex, couples who find it acceptable to have no-strings-attached sex with anyone provided they're honest, and couples who fall anywhere and everywhere in between. Just because some draw the line between what's appropriate and what isn't in different places doesn't mean we should go around insulting whoever doesn't hold the same preferences. It's obnoxious.
Author flyfishin Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I'm pretty sure homeboy's girl is a 9.5 or a 10 hands down....yeah okay. That's why she's stressin' over some busted ass strippers right my dude? Please fam, you just missed out on a fun night cause you couldn't man up to ya gal. On top of that, if you really were a looker, and I mean truly, you wouldn't have been so eager to please her and bend over backwards to make her happy out of fear of losing her. No need to reply my dude, what's done is done. The two of you are happy, that's what matters right? Right. But don't even try to play cats like we're over here laid up with busted ass broads because we got a spine. You should grow one. Fam u got 400 ****ing posts on here in 1 month...1 month homey and u posted 400 ****ing times...dr.phill ass nigga...u wouldn't know pussy if that **** blew a whiff in ya face...and ill post a link to this **** right on my facebook and ask ya bitch if I'm a looker! And also u will se my jawn is a 9.5 or 10..str8 lie that..we can let the ppl judge...stop playing on the computer and go chase some $$$ or pussy...str8 like that..u a nerd!!
SmileFace Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Sweet, I agree. just like Elswyth said - different strokes for different folks. I did not insult anyone , nor was it my intention to be obnoxious.I don't mind if everyone disagrees with me. However this is just how I see it . My opinion stands the same. He asked for opinions - it is a public forum . Why should my opinion conform to public standards? If you find my opinion obnoxious so-be-it.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Shut that **** up fam, you weak. You have no room to judge the OP. Why don't you be nice for once? Or is that not in your genetic makeup?
Ay Diesel T Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Stop playing yourself bro...u r laid up with ya mutt right now sneak dissing here on a forum online forum...u replying to everyones post on here bro..too much time on ya hands to be on here hating...u prob don't even got a mutt single ass loser...go get some p*sssy and get over loveshack being ya hobby playing dr.phil fam Get at me when you get your nuts back big guy.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Back on topic: It's sad that you bent and gave in to your girlfriend. This is an example of where you need to set boundaries, and not be so needy and/or passive. People aren't judging you because you want to please your girlfriend. They're judging you because you choose an old HS best friend, someone you have known for 3-4 years, over someone you've known for a couple of months. And you rolled over and let her manipulate you. What will happen in the future, if you do something she doesn't like? Out comes the same old head game, and you give in? Pretty soon, you won't even have a backbone - she would have taken it away from you. You can't change the past, but you can change the future. Never let a girlfriend manipulate you for sex.
Author flyfishin Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Get at me when you get your nuts back big guy. Get at me when loveshack presents u with the dr.phil of the month award....500 posts big dog in almost 1 month..we call a spade a spade..u on here all the time and ill put u on blast..I doubt he's diesel and he def ain't getten no ass with all the time u got on your hands...lmao at get my nuts back...get yours out your drawers and bust 1
sweetjasmine Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Sweet, I agree. just like Elswyth said - different strokes for different folks. I did not insult anyone , nor was it my intention to be obnoxious.I don't mind if everyone disagrees with me. However this is just how I see it . My opinion stands the same. He asked for opinions - it is a public forum . Why should my opinion conform to public standards? If you find my opinion obnoxious so-be-it. I didn't think you were being obnoxious. I'm sorry if my post came off that way. But some of the attitudes in this thread have been a little obnoxious, IMO. It's sad that you bent and gave in to your girlfriend. This is an example of where you need to set boundaries, and not be so needy and/or passive. The girlfriend set her boundaries, too.
Jannah Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I went to a male show a few years ago for a similar celebration and the show was called the "Thunder From Down Under". I was called up on stage by one of the male strippers, but I tried to diffuse it to other people in the audience instead of me being pulled up there. The people I was there with, all routed for me to go on stage and I said, what the hey, so I went. The male dancer tied and bound me to a chair. He proceeded to grind himself all over me and place his male bits in my face. When it was over, and I was walking off the stage, one of them **patted** me on my buttocks and when I turned around, he motioned me with his hand to come talk to him. I declined, shook his hand and went back to my chair. Now, if a SO had an issue with this, and disapproved of it - I would very much support and respect his decision, and would have declined the offer to go on stage. If he had an issue with me going in the first place, I would totally be open to discussion of not going. OP and his girlfriend, are a couple, and they need to decide between the two of them - what is reasonable and/or appropriate. Other people involved, need to be respectful of their relationship and their decision.
Els Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) Back on topic: It's sad that you bent and gave in to your girlfriend. This is an example of where you need to set boundaries, and not be so needy and/or passive. People aren't judging you because you want to please your girlfriend. They're judging you because you choose an old HS best friend, someone you have known for 3-4 years, over someone you've known for a couple of months. And you rolled over and let her manipulate you. What will happen in the future, if you do something she doesn't like? Out comes the same old head game, and you give in? Pretty soon, you won't even have a backbone - she would have taken it away from you. You can't change the past, but you can change the future. Never let a girlfriend manipulate you for sex. Would you expect a gf of yours to set rigid boundaries over something she doesn't even really want to do, just as a matter of principle? What if she wanted to take a pole-dancing class, like that thread I mentioned, with her bff, and you were opposed to it, like the men in that thread? Would you expect her to draw a line of no compromise, or would you think more of her for declining it for your sake, especially if she didn't really want to go in the first place? What would you think of her bff for calling her a 'pansy' and you 'controlling' in this case, just because the bff's boyfriend is fine with her pole-dancing? You will never have a successful LTR without compromise. Ever. There is such a thing as compromising too much and often, ie doormat, but that doesn't seem to be so based on the limited info given by the OP. Edited February 28, 2011 by Elswyth
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Would you expect a gf of yours to set rigid boundaries over something she doesn't even really want to do, just as a matter of principle? If she set a boundary that excluded me from hanging out with an old friend, or celebrating the fact that he's getting married, she can set all the boundaries she wants. I would break them and go out with my old friend. The thing you need to understand is that it was her fault that she's insecure. The OP doesn't frequent strip clubs, or have a hooker problem, or some of the issues that many post about on here. He wanted to go out to a strip club, because his friend was there. What's so wrong with that? What if she wanted to take a pole-dancing class, like that thread I mentioned, with her bff, and you were opposed to it, like the men in that thread? Would you expect her to draw a line of no compromise, or would you think more of her for declining it for your sake, especially if she didn't really want to go in the first place? What would you think of her bff for calling her a 'pansy' and you 'controlling' in this case, just because the bff's boyfriend is fine with her pole-dancing? Pole dancing for a bunch of horny men is different from the OP's situation, where he wanted to talk with and celebrate an old friend's bachelor party. Girls get male strippers for their bachelorette parties, as well. Should I have a problem with a girl I'm marrying having one of those parties, too?
sweetjasmine Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 The thing you need to understand is that it was her fault that she's insecure. The OP doesn't frequent strip clubs, or have a hooker problem, or some of the issues that many post about on here. He wanted to go out to a strip club, because his friend was there. What's so wrong with that? What's wrong with it is that it crosses her boundaries. Pole dancing for a bunch of horny men is different from the OP's situation, where he wanted to talk with and celebrate an old friend's bachelor party. I like how you set the first one up as "dancing for a bunch of horny men" but when it's the guy frequenting the club, he's there to "talk with his old friend and celebrate," and there's no mention of horny men or almost-naked women. Girls get male strippers for their bachelorette parties, as well. Should I have a problem with a girl I'm marrying having one of those parties, too? If you considered it inappropriate, yes, you would have a problem with it. Whether you should is up to you, just as it's up to his girlfriend whether it's cool with her. My SO would find it inappropriate and disrespectful for me to get male strippers for my bachelorette party. Is he being an insecure, controlling jerk? Should I trample over his feelings, tell him to f--- off and do it anyway? That sure sounds like a recipe for a long, healthy relationship.
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