Socal11 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) My girlfriend of just over 4 years is studying abroad and told me yesterday that she had sex with another guy when she was extremely drunk. She told me almost immediately after it happened because she said she never sobered up so faster in her life when she realized what had just happened. She had never done anything to hurt me during those four years. I am honestly waiting to wake up from this horrible dream. She has wrote me a couple of emails telling me how she feels like the biggest trash bag ever and has felt like she was going to puke since it happened. She says she completely understands if I never want to talk to her again but know that she will always love me but she hopes someday/somehow I will forgive her. She vows that she would stop drinking for the remainder of her trip and would wait around as long as it took me to start talking to her again. To say im hurt is an understatement... im completely stunned. The more I think about her and another guy, the more I want to never talk to her again. The more I think about all that we have experienced and felt for eachother, the more I want to somehow make it work. I was even planning on visiting her and proposing when I went... I do believe her when she says she made the worst decision of her life and regrets every second of it. She has called me crying but I don't want to talk to her... im really confused... Thanks in advance for any help or tips! Edited February 26, 2011 by Socal11
Anna86 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 wow, what a tough situation. Well, she really does seem upset and really sorry for what she did. Cheating is a terrible thing. Awful! But she did tell you upfront which means that she does actually care about the relationship. I think you can trust her not to lie to you. I know it sounds terrible that she cheated but she came clean. There are so many people that would never tell you. She REALLY wants to make it work..She knew if she kept it a secret there would be no future for you two. Also, she was drunk. I have never cheated when drunk, but I have done and said stupid things. Did you guys have a fight that day? Who was the guy?Was he a friend? If so, I would worry about him and make sure she breaks contact with him. Maybe tell her you need time to think. You need time by yourself to see if it is worth trusting her again. Only you know the answer to that. Good luck. Some other posters may say you have no hope, but people cheat all the time and never tell their partner. She is honest at least even if she did do a stupid selfish thing.
Author Socal11 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Ya I told her that she won't hear from me for a bit because I simply did not want to have contact with her. The guy was someone she was kind of friends with through some of her other friends. The guy has a girlfriend in the states and he came clean to her and is extremely depressed. I guess he is semi suicidal about cheating on his gf and his girl is trying to make it work between them. My girlfriend basicly said she has no idea how it happened.. She says she had absolutely no feelings toward this guy before and after. She also said wheather or not I stay with her, she is completely cutting contact off from this guy. Though the guy hasn't tried to contact her since it happened. He did reply to my semi-mean message on facebook and apologized over and over saying he has never been more ashamed of himself and wasn't raised to be anything close to what he did. I know she feels horrible and wants to stay with me, but I don't know if I will ever be able to block that out and gain my trust back towards her.
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