His text, though simple, spoke volumes to the other woman and myself.

[SteelMagnolia]

Hello, (sorry for the long post )

 

Growing up, I never had a problem getting a date. I was always, always dating. I gave up--because I only found myself getting into relationships that escalated into violent behaviors.

 

I met this guy, and had absolutely no intention of having a connection with him in a gathering of friends. I let myself be me...and eventually he came to me when I was alone. He truly ended up being one of the nicest, most sincere guy I had ever met. He is so great, it is hard for me to trust that I am not blinded.

 

We've been together for months now, and he left for a training camp lasting a few months--I have no option of contacting him, but through letters.

 

Right before he left, his "almost" girlfriend from the past contacted him. And it really blew him away. It almost seemed like she was "the one that got away," yet through his attempts at keeping a friendship as he lives on another coast..she ignored him. I know this, because he told me.

 

I am glad he told me, as I asked if he was okay when he read his phone and his facial expressions vanished. For the rest of that day, he didn't speak much to me. It wasn't until the evening that he "normalized." I let him be during that time so he could have space.

 

My boyfriend has since left for his training, and I've held many of his posessions for him for weeks. Including his phone. Okay, I KNOW IT WAS WRONG...and I feel pretty guilty that I even considered to look at it. That was so low of me...

 

I found the conversation he had with her...and This girl came off as very sweet and sincere. I just didn't like my boyfriend's response. He told her his deepest fears about leaving for training (something he never told me), and how he "loved watching her" watch this one event he took her to (because the girl informed him she was taking her mother there to see it...Funnily enough...he took me to a similar event earlier).

 

The way he said it connotated some pretty deep feelings he had for her...like something he would have said to me

It really knocked me down. I'm upset, but unable to voice my concerns because I snooped--and I never want to bring it up again, just bury it.

 

Is it okay for me to feel this way? He expresses so much emotion towards me..I just don't like it being shared.

Edited February 26, 2011 by SteelMagnolia