singlelife Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Women may say no for all kinds of reasons. The thing is it only affects you if you really liked the girl or you have nothing else going on. It's funny but girls actually respond to rejecting you in a weird way. If you take it like a man and move on and it doesn't crush you she actually will be more open to giving you a chance in the future. But it's when she sees you have a life. And sometimes girls always so no at first before they can say yes. They have to know if you are into them, or what they are looking for. Plus most girls have been hurt so they have to make sure on all that. But you shouldn't just wait around for them you should put your bid in and then go hang with other girls. If it's meant to be it is if not it isn't.
Author singlelife Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I give two thumbs up to your topic title Thanks!
irc333 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 It's Rejection, not Ejection" lol that's something you do to a guy when you're not enjoying the date, it's a button you push on the car dash board.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I don't think anyone here is disturbed over any one rejection. People like nymets fan who have tried and tried and tried and in 7 years not gotten one date... that's more than just one rejection. That's gotta really hurt. One would have to be made of stone for it to not hurt after a while.
PJKino Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Its easier to get over rejection when youve had sucess..Ive never had sucess so each rejection hurts and reaffirms to me im not attractive to women
carhill Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 On-topic, there's nothing like a nice, juicy, painful divorce to cure someone of rejection-phobia, not that I recommend it. Probably, in my case, dad screwed up not giving me the 'wimmin are b!tches' talk when I was young, letting me erroneously think women were like my mom. Seriously, I think your perspective is reasonable and healthy. *Appropriate* investment, based on compatibility and expressions, through action, of mutual interest and desire. If no joy, no prejudice and goodbye.
Author singlelife Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Part of the problem is you have to get over the rejection not ejection lol. My bad. If not you are coming to her with a total bad attitude. Think of it like sales. You are gonna get rejected. Then you weed out who doesn't like you. But you have to be strong enough and skilled enough to turn some of those sales. So that means you have to date some girls you may not even be interested in. Get your confidence up. Only confident men get women.
somedude81 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 So that means you have to date some girls you may not even be interested in. Get your confidence up. Only confident men get women. That's actually something that Tiger20 said. That really doesn't make any sense. How do I date somebody I don't have any interest in? How many girls would even accept a date from somebody who wasn't interested in? That just seems really weird.
Author singlelife Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 That's actually something that Tiger20 said. That really doesn't make any sense. How do I date somebody I don't have any interest in? How many girls would even accept a date from somebody who wasn't interested in? That just seems really weird. I didn't mean date a girl that is a dog. I meant go out with girls that maybe aren't your potential mate. If you don't have a life why would the girls you want like to hang out with you? They wouldn't.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Women may say no for all kinds of reasons. The thing is it only affects you if you really liked the girl or you have nothing else going on. It's funny but girls actually respond to rejecting you in a weird way. If you take it like a man and move on and it doesn't crush you she actually will be more open to giving you a chance in the future. But it's when she sees you have a life. And sometimes girls always so no at first before they can say yes. They have to know if you are into them, or what they are looking for. Plus most girls have been hurt so they have to make sure on all that. But you shouldn't just wait around for them you should put your bid in and then go hang with other girls. If it's meant to be it is if not it isn't. If you can't get over the R"ejection" then don't counsel others to do the same. Also, if I ask a woman out and she says no... I will never want her again. I don't like women who can't make up their mind. I've had that happen when I was younger. I had a girl turn me down, but the moment I get a GF she sends a friend over to tell me she is interested... like middleschool. I told her to stuff it. If I'd told her yes... then like all the other women like that she would be wanting another guy and plotting to cheat on me within a day. That's how those girls are!
blackmagik Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I didn't mean date a girl that is a dog. I meant go out with girls that maybe aren't your potential mate. If you don't have a life why would the girls you want like to hang out with you? They wouldn't. I actually agree with this, which is weird. I once dated a girl I knew I would never marry or be with in the super longterm. I didn't need confidence but it helped me gain perspective on what I did want in a relationship and the qualities that I saw in a potential mate.
Author singlelife Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Dating girls helps you gain experience to. Just like working out.
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Dating girls helps you gain experience to. Just like working out. Yup, it's a skill, just like anything else. The more you practice, the better you get at it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Women may say no for all kinds of reasons. The thing is it only affects you if you really liked the girl or you have nothing else going on. It's funny but girls actually respond to rejecting you in a weird way. If you take it like a man and move on and it doesn't crush you she actually will be more open to giving you a chance in the future. But it's when she sees you have a life. And sometimes girls always so no at first before they can say yes. They have to know if you are into them, or what they are looking for. Plus most girls have been hurt so they have to make sure on all that. But you shouldn't just wait around for them you should put your bid in and then go hang with other girls. If it's meant to be it is if not it isn't. I agree with the "if you really like the girl or you have nothing else going on" part. However, usually if a girl rejects me I pretty much no longer have anything to do with them, so it's not likely that I will ask her out again in the future. On average, I think your advice makes sense, but for guys who rarely meet single women (like me) it might be difficult to apply.
AD1980 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Yup, it's a skill, just like anything else. The more you practice, the better you get at it. Some of us cant even get that first date
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Some of us cant even get that first date It starts with the ability to make friends. Men that can't be social and have people of both genders drawn to them to become platonic friends because he is a cool guy to hang out with, have zero chance of getting dates. And I don't mean friends you made when you were a kid. You NEED the ability to continuously meet and make new friends. That's like step one, before anything else. Then there are the basics to hit... don't be creepy, don't be angry (it's okay to be angry inside, like NYMetFan, but if you show it like on this forum, you lose), don't smell, be physically presentable... etc. Then comes development, where you need to learn the game, develop an edge, know what to do in situations, and this is kind of what we're talking about here. So this is like step three. This step is useless unless you have the last two step down first.
Author singlelife Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 get over it. girls deal with rejection much better than men
AD1980 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 It starts with the ability to make friends. Men that can't be social and have people of both genders drawn to them to become platonic friends because he is a cool guy to hang out with, have zero chance of getting dates. And I don't mean friends you made when you were a kid. You NEED the ability to continuously meet and make new friends. That's like step one, before anything else. Then there are the basics to hit... don't be creepy, don't be angry (it's okay to be angry inside, like NYMetFan, but if you show it like on this forum, you lose), don't smell, be physically presentable... etc. Then comes development, where you need to learn the game, develop an edge, know what to do in situations, and this is kind of what we're talking about here. So this is like step three. This step is useless unless you have the last two step down first. I have friends but theyre mostly all married.No single women in my social circle
AD1980 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 get over it. girls deal with rejection much better than men No they dont put themselves out there and approach as much as men...they wait to be aproached
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I have friends but theyre mostly all married.No single women in my social circle It doesn't matter if they are single, married, men, women or LGBT. And it doesn't count if they are already your friend. The key is you need to be able to make NEW friends on a regular basis. If you can do that, then you have step one down. This "make new friends step" is not connected to getting dates directly. You are just making friends. You are exercising your platonic social skills, which is a foundation for the social skills you need for dating. It's not "make friends with single women so you can hit on them". In fact, you DON'T want to do that. You want to hit on single women, and not be their friend. Unless you are not romantically interested in them, then you can be friends.
musemaj11 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 get over it. girls deal with rejection much better than men One of the dumbest quotes ever told. It takes a woman two consecutive rejections to consider not to ask anyone out ever again for the rest of her life.
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 One of the dumbest quotes ever told. It takes a woman two consecutive rejections to consider not to ask anyone out ever again for the rest of her life. I think it's more like guys keep asking them out, so why would they want to do the work? Heck if women ask me out all the time, I'd stop too. I'll just sit around and look pretty, and wait for the next one to ask me.
musemaj11 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I think it's more like guys keep asking them out, so why would they want to do the work? Heck if women ask me out all the time, I'd stop too. I'll just sit around and look pretty, and wait for the next one to ask me. Havent you heard the classic line, "I have tried asking men out before (yea like twice in her life ). It never worked out so Im not going to do that again."? The fact is that most women dont realize that most men have to try countless times, not two or three times before getting a woman.
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Havent you heard the classic line, "I have tried asking men out before (yea like twice in her life ). It never worked out so Im not going to do that again."? The fact is that most women dont realize that most men have to try countless times, not two or three times before getting a woman. Yeah, that's true. And you know, the women that actually DO take the initiative to hit on men, more than twice, usually have more understanding and are more appreciative, that men are sticking their necks out. They tend to be nicer even if they reject you, and do a better job at it, because they know what it's like on the other side. I like those women. But they are rare.
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