EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 My ex and I dated for a year and about 2 months. We've had some problems, but all in all we've been very happy together. We have broken up twice during this time, but not any longer than a couple of weeks. And honestly, it was over petty crap that doesn't matter. I'd get mad over her wanting to drink and party and stuff. Well, I cut down on the bickering about it, but didn't completely cut it out.We were seemingly fine after getting back together for the last 4 months. But then all of the sudden on Sunday night, (After we spent the day at my moms house and had a good day) she asks me if she can't see forever, is it fair to stay? Of course I told her "yes it's fair because no one sees forever and that there is only here and now because no one is promised tomorrow." She ended up breaking up with me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since. I've made some mistakes in this process because she asked me to give her space to find out if she's truly happy with me. I couldn't give her space because she's my best friend. She and I usually talk all day everyday. But I've been okay about it. I tried not to text her unless she did first. But then I started begging, and telling her I'd change and that all the petty crap didn't mean anything anymore. I even asked to see her because we were in the same building on campus. She says she loves me and doesn't want to break up but she has to for her. What does all of this mean and what should I do? I know what I was doing to cause these problems, but i can't make her see that I know how to fix it too. I took her independence away by asking her to change who she was... how do I make this right? Our pictures (we took lots of pictures) show our happy fun times... i don't get it.
Author EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 oh, and p.s.... this was all done thru texting and I haven't seen her since we got back from my house Sunday afternoon. (2/20/11)
2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Tell her you respect her decision to want space and say you will not contact her and move on. Delete her number from your phone (so you will not contact her) trust me you do not want to go contacting her a week or so down the road when you are starting to feel as if it is all slipping away, you will go into wussville and try and reconcile. She will respect you for that and you will look like more of a man rather than trying to keep in contact. If she wants you then she will get back but you need to think that it is over and you have to try and move on. Do not wait about for her as she may not come back. If you keep contacting her you will validate her decision that she was right to break it off. Tough stuff but you have to do this in order to heal. NC is tough but it is best for both of you. 2011
Author EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 it's just so upsetting because I know what I did and I'm willing to be myself again... In protecting myself, I changed who I was. I don't want to be that guy anymore...
Author EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I've had no contact with her since Thursday evening. Her family keeps talking to me and asking how I am and that they think this situation sucks and they hope she realizes she's made a mistake.
2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Might be an idea to tell them you are giving her space and that also means not talking to her family as well, again a tough one you don't want to say to her family "I am ignoring you from now on" but you will hear updates from them all the time and eventually you might hear something you don't want to hear. Idk maybe some more seasoned NC vets could reply here about this family contact? 2011
Author EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 That's the hard part- I've become so close to her family. I love them like my own. I can't just shut them out of my life. Even if-and I'm praying against this-we don't get back together, I still want to be a part of her life and I won't stop loving her family.
Author EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 And why did she do this all thru texting? Was she scared she wouldn't be able to in person?
Author EricLuther21 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Can anyone help??? I haven't talked to her in almost 2 full days. It sucks so bad.
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