brokendreamz Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I feel like I've turned a corner this last week. Sure I miss her like crazy and I know I've let the love of my life get away, but I feel like I might actually be functioning semi-normally again. I'm visiting an old friend for dinner tonight, something I would never have even contemplated 6 weeks ago! Work is getting better - I no longer just sit there looking blankly at my PC, I hit the gym a few times a week and have had some golf lessons. A lot of these activities are a good distraction for me, but she's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep (and yep! she's right there in my dreams too!) Weekends are by far the hardest times to cope - I walked down the high street earlier and just couldn't believe I wasn't holding her hand, discussing where to go for lunch and what the evening had in store! Still soooo hard. We have a house to sell so I'm at LC. once the house is sold I'm thinking total NC and I might even disappear off round the world for a year with out telling her. Thing is, All I can think is that she's going to realise she still loves me and will want me back, even though she's made it VERY clear that this will never happen. She says she still loves me but 'not like that' anymore!!!! AAAAARRRRRRGHHH !!! I guess telling myself she'll be back is some form of coping mechanism huh? Oh well - I hope that in another 7 weeks I'll be in a much stronger place, hell I might even try the whole dating thing (if I can remember how to do that!) although the thought of it scares the **** out of me! She was my life and my sole - what the hell am I supposed to talk about to another girl!!!. Not really sure why I'm posting this, but it makes me feel a bit better and I hope some of you who are in the early days are able to read the above and realise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel - It might be fairly dim at the moment, but it will grow stronger as you do. Good luck everyone!!!
simplyxnoor Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 8 years together? I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must be for you... I've had 7 weeks apart from a 7 month relationship and I feel really depressed and resentful lately and that's not me at all. I send my condolences to you for your loss. There definitely is a light at the end of the tunnel! I think we lose certain things in life so that something bigger comes our way. Think of it as the Universe or God (or whatever you believe in) has bigger and better plans for you. In the end if something is meant to be or meant to happen it will happen. For now I guess the best thing would be to keep the nc rule and go out, keep busy, try to have fun! even pretending you're having fun and laughing can help you believe that you will soon actually be happy. About dating other girls, just go out there, be yourself, and talk about your life and yourself. Since you're now single, it's all about you now! Embrace that and don't ever let the love in your heart turn to hate. There's always a fine line between the two. Best wishes!
stopthemadness Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) wow I was in an 8 yr relationship too. Seems to be the breakup time if you read alot of this months posts. Sounds like your doing good on the healing process. I too am feeling alot better, I was so broken. But its been 7 months sence my break up and am doing ok. sm days i do still cry, Iam getten it though. its few and far between now with the bad days. I have a "Friend" who i talk to and he helps. He knows am not ready to start a relationship. And what you said about pretending that they will one day be bk. I think your right about us just telling our selfs that knowing is isnt gona happen. Soo GOOd for you! Keep up the awesome healing......God Bless........ Edited February 26, 2011 by stopthemadness
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