stunnedrabbit Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 So I was seeing a girl last year for about 5 months. I wasn’t sure that it was working so I finished it in August. She took it very well, in fact she said she thought it was the right decision and we kept in contact after, in fact seeing each other once or twice a week. After a couple of months, I realised I was kidding myself and still had feelings for her and told her this. She said she had moved on and thought we were better as friends. I was really upset. I went no contact for 3 months. Unfortunately this involved cutting myself off from some friends but I knew I had to do it. Anway, I know I’m still not over her completely but in the past month or so I have made efforts to get out and meet new people/ partners and have decided that I don’t want to limit my social circle and if I have to bump into her as I result of this, fine. Anyway, we had a night out with mutual friends and it was horrible but on the surface fine and very amicable. We had by this stage exchanged a few friendly texts. During this exchange, I suggested meeting up. I got no reply. I texted her a second time, a jokey one this time, I’m bad for being slow in replying to texts so I was teasing her about this. No reply. To be honest I know at this point I should have thought, **** it. But I wanted to know what was going on so I emailed her, just asking, have you lost your phone, are things not ok? I got a reply, saying she’d been busy and she hoped we were fine. I just feel really angry. I don’t know how to respond to this. I would rather be friends than not, but I’d rather we weren’t friends than pretending to be. So do I: - Not respond. Ignore her when I see her. The downside of this is that we do have mutual friends and I will see her out in the next few weeks and I don’t want any confrontation which I know if I don’t respond, will be hard to resist. Write to her one of following: - Listen I feel like I’m getting mixed messages. On one hand you say you miss me, its good to see me, you want to be friends (And no I don’t take these as a sign of you wanting to get back together). On the other, you don’t bother to reply to my texts which isn’t just being busy. It’s being ****ing rude. Or scared. For whatever reason I don’t think you are as ok as you think with being friends so lets just forget it. Good luck with working out what you want. And FYI I don’t care who you go out with. I’m not sitting here waiting for you. And yes we now are officially unamicable. I think it’s a shame but it seems the way you want it and maybe the easiest for us both. If I’m wrong and you do want to be friends, fine, but I’m not going to be the only one making any effort. - I’m getting totally mixed messages. Either we meet at somepoint and see if we can be friends or let’s just forget it. Let’s not even bother trying to pretend if you can’t ****ing be bothered replying to my texts. - I think you’re trying to kid yourself. We’re not ok. You made a decision not to reply to my texts. I find it rather insulting that you claim it was because you were too busy. Do me a favour. I don’t think you know what you want. So lets just leave it as officially unamicable and you can happily ignore me when we next see each other. I’m aware all these are quite confrontational but I’m angry and I’d rather upset her and blow all chances of friendship than be a doormat. Any suggestions for a less confronational but assertive reply gratefully received! ☺
BrokenFool Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Shes giving you the brush off, play it like you are cool with it, if you show her you are needy just because she hasnt replied to a few of your texts your attraction in her eyes will go down i feel for you, take new classes, go to the gym show her what she is missing out on actions speak louder than words
BelieveInUs Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) I think the mixed messages might be part of her mind games. This does not necessary have to be true but if it is true then you have to permanently terminate the relationship. Trust me, I just ended a relationship because the woman was playing stupid ass mind games with me. I decided to bounce something back to her for playing with my mind and my heart. She thought she can stomp on my mind and my heart like they are her personal stomping grounds. I still think of her but I am starting to go ahead with my personal and professional life. You have to decide for yourself whether or not you want to savage the relationship. I am going to be 42 this May 16, 2011. I am too old to be playing stupid ass mind games with her stupid ass. You have to decide what is in your interest. I want to wish you "Good Luck in your next relationship." Take care. Sincerely, BelieveInUs One of the Man Edited February 26, 2011 by BelieveInUs Wrong wording
Author stunnedrabbit Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Hi, Thanks for your replies. I'm do feel like I'm a needy oversensitive **** at the moment so I think you're right about not replying. I'm interested in any female's opinions as well. Though I think I have my answer - prob need to go back to NC, though I think I'm not going to avoid going to things she might be at also.
Recommended Posts