greatneck Posted March 29, 2004 Posted March 29, 2004 I need help ! I met my Gf 3 years ago after a bad divorse. She was perfect in everyway. I loved everything about her. I think because of my marrage I had a real hard time trusting her. I was without a doubt nuts about her going out drinking with har friends always wondered if she would cheat on me. Now I need to say I have had alot of problems in life. Me being the cause of most of them. I started using drugs while in a serious relationship with her. I started getting real bad around x mass of last year. I left her on Dec 22. Pretty much just walked out on her because I could stop getting high. I was afraid she would find out. I didnt see her for the holidays or her bday. After 2 months of not being with her. I called her and found out she was dating. I was upset I went to her house ( still on drugs) I had lost so much weight I looked like a sick person. She was shooked I told her what I was doing and I asked her to help me. She agreed and she told me that she wanted to take things slow. I asked her if she was going to still date other men. She told me that she wouldnt. But she did. I started checking up on her and a few times caught her coming home from being out with other guys. Everytime that happened I picked up drugs. I landed in a few rehabs failed attempts at sobriety. I was really messed up. Now I dont blame her for going out with other guys. I was real gross My problem is I begged her not to see other guys and she promised me that she wouldnt. I think I was sober a week or two and trying to stay better. Her son had a birthday party and I found out a few days before me or my kids werent invited. She told me that her family was coming and she was having a hard time with me coming because some of her family knew I was haing a major problem. I was hurt. The night before I was at her house and we had sex. She told me that she loved me. I was happy she was giving me a chance to prove myself. The next day she went out on a date with a guy. I called her house and her mom (who was staying with her for a few nights) answered she didnt know what to say I asked her if she was out on a date she said yes. I got high that night. I put myself in rehab for six months. while I was in rehab she sent me a bday card. And we started talking on the phone. I got out and she wants to have a relationship. The thing is she lied to me about another guy. She was also with him the time I was away. When I was doing drugs I went to her house went up to the door and say them fooling around on the couch. I love her and I really cant blame her for what happened. I left her came back to her all messed up. But I'm so hurt she was with someone else. Can I trust her? Can she trust me? This is a huge mess. I feel like she left me for this guy. I was on drugs but if you love someone and they get screwed up on drugs do you go and find another guy??????????? She tells me she knew we would be back togther. Then how can she have another relationship. I cant deal with the thought of her sleeping with someone else. But it happened. Did she cheat on me???????? Im LOST.....
Arabess Posted March 29, 2004 Posted March 29, 2004 I think you should concentrate on getting yourself straightened out before considering trying to patch up this relationship. It makes it harder for you to get well when your love life is all messed up. GIve yourself some time and space. PLUS, maybe it's time you need to give you the answers on how you feel about her infidelity. Good Luck.....I hope this all works out for you. Taking care of yourself FIRST though is the main thing. History has a way of repeating itself when we aren't in control of our lives.
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