Whatshername Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 OMG. Background info: Got divorced several years ago. I was good friends with a man at work and after I divorce, we dated awhile. I photocopied my boobs and gave it to him. Never gave it a thought; trusted him implicitly. I moved, he got married. Fast Forward: I moved back to the same town, and met a guy on POF. This guy works with the old bf. We talked once, several months ago, and recently met, have gone out, only as friends. I was in a relationship, so am not ready to date, and made this clear. He does like me and i have been very clear that not only am I not ready to date, but that I am not saying we will date if when I am. We get along, have fun and neither have long time friends in our town, as he moved here just a year ago. Yesterday, he texted me, it said...Just miss those puppies. I was like wth? That was what the old bf called my boobs....lol I asked him what he was talking about, and he said someone told him to say that. I asked who, and of course it was the old bf. Later found out, the guy has my boob pic ON HIS PHONE and had shown this guy. I feel humiliated. Sure it was sort of a fun, flirtatious act.......6 years ago, and as I said, this is a very upstanding guy, not a gossip, etc. I am sure he didn't go around telling people whose boobs they were, but for a guy, I guess it's slick to have this pic???? I am still in utter disbelief he showed him, seeing as he knew we were hanging out. How would you feel? I am mad at the old bf and can't talk to this friend, as I am really pretty embarrassed. He likes me, a lot, and I just don't see us hanging out any more after this. How would you feel/react?
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Be proud of your boobs. If he likes you, I doubt he'll decide he suddenly doesn't want to see you anymore after this. If he would bail, then he wasn't all that interested in you in the first place. Don't blame this on the boobs. Like you said, it was a flirtatious spur of the moment thing. Not a big deal. You can present it as a fun moment, or you can present it as something negative. Generally I vote for fun. Because people like other fun people.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 What you really do is STOP thinking about it. You made this decision years back, and it wasn't that big of a deal (a "photocopy" of your breasts), so now you need to put on a strong, confident face and just live with the idea that your breasts are 'out there' (er, not in the usual way, I mean). Look your new guy friend in the eye and own up to it... and don't ever look back!!
AverageJoe Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Be proud of your boobs. If he likes you, I doubt he'll decide he suddenly doesn't want to see you anymore after this. If he would bail, then he wasn't all that interested in you in the first place. Don't blame this on the boobs. Like you said, it was a flirtatious spur of the moment thing. Not a big deal. You can present it as a fun moment, or you can present it as something negative. Generally I vote for fun. Because people like other fun people. This. Nothing else to add.
AverageJoe Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Do internet porn. That'll show him.. How long do you think you can make it?
AverageJoe Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Make what? The video? I mean, most porn is usually about 30 seconds long, and sometimes longer if they copy and paste a scene of the couple going at it over and over again. Lord knows, it's up to the producer in the end. Your porn is only 30 seconds? Ouch. Quite the blow. The producer gets it in the end too? Intrigued.
jane100 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) not sure why people like to give naked photos but anyhow ? they obviously have a light-hearted "boys club" approach to it, whereas you don't, surely a mismatch in motives for doing it in the first place (curious about your motives by the way). above shows danger of giving people such pictures of yourself, you have no control over what they do with them, now or in the future. (sigh) p.s. i can't think of any advice: forget about it? tell them (both) your feelings on this? its your call. probably sit with it for a few days first. Edited February 26, 2011 by jane100
LittleTiger Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 They both sound very immature. Tell them both you think they're acting like a couple of school boys and go find a grown up to have a relationship with.
hoping2heal Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 OMG. Background info: Got divorced several years ago. I was good friends with a man at work and after I divorce, we dated awhile. I photocopied my boobs and gave it to him. Never gave it a thought; trusted him implicitly. I moved, he got married. Fast Forward: I moved back to the same town, and met a guy on POF. This guy works with the old bf. We talked once, several months ago, and recently met, have gone out, only as friends. I was in a relationship, so am not ready to date, and made this clear. He does like me and i have been very clear that not only am I not ready to date, but that I am not saying we will date if when I am. We get along, have fun and neither have long time friends in our town, as he moved here just a year ago. Yesterday, he texted me, it said...Just miss those puppies. I was like wth? That was what the old bf called my boobs....lol I asked him what he was talking about, and he said someone told him to say that. I asked who, and of course it was the old bf. Later found out, the guy has my boob pic ON HIS PHONE and had shown this guy. I feel humiliated. Sure it was sort of a fun, flirtatious act.......6 years ago, and as I said, this is a very upstanding guy, not a gossip, etc. I am sure he didn't go around telling people whose boobs they were, but for a guy, I guess it's slick to have this pic???? I am still in utter disbelief he showed him, seeing as he knew we were hanging out. How would you feel? I am mad at the old bf and can't talk to this friend, as I am really pretty embarrassed. He likes me, a lot, and I just don't see us hanging out any more after this. How would you feel/react? They should sticky note your post as a word of caution to everyone who comes across this thread. I would feel humiliated, and full of regret. You are one of many woman whos breasts and all else are making the rounds of cell phones in your town, and everywhere else. Those kinds of photos get circulated, that is what happens. I cannot remember how many times in my younger 2Os I have been at a party when the cell phones got passed around about so and so and her boobs and oh look at her this and her that. You may think you can trust who you give those photos too but 9 times out of 1O some girl learns that you just cannot.
Author Whatshername Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I really do not care about the photo. It was ONLY my boobs, and very close up and done in fun. If it was sent to his phone, it cannot be a good picture anyway. As far as my motives........well, let's see...I had just had them done and the new guy had not seen them yet, so it added a new spark to our day.....until we hooked up. lol I was married to a mean man for years and felt very un sexy, so this was all sort of a coming out of the new, real, sexy me! Having this on his phone just shows a lack of integrity, since we both live in the same town. Sure I moved away for a year and have no idea when he did this, as I never speak to him. I think he showed it to this guy before I ever met him, but why did he have to say anything, what was the point. I feel really awkward now, as I did want to remain only friends with this guy and , I don't know, it just leaves me feeling really awkward. If i were a mean woman, I could find out how to run into his wife and ask her if she has seen my boobs as well? lol
jane100 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Agree there is a cautionary tale in your experience, though that probably doesn't help you right now. I think their behaviour is pretty ****. As to earlier post, well, I'm from the UK, and in my 40s, so the idea of men passing round pictures of women's breasts who they know (or don't) in my company at a general party is pretty shocking.
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