9Lives Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Well Well Well....I just watch a girlfriend get her heart totally broken and break down in a restaurant FULL of people trying to be friends with ex hoping it would turn into more. HE asked her to be fb friends and she accepted. They started talking and texting. He tells her last saturday he would call her back. She didnt hear from him today so she checks his fb page and he removed her from his friend list. She goes into panic and texts him and asked him why did he delete her and spills her guts about how she feels. INSTEAD of sympathy, he gets ANNOYED and asked her why she was all emotional. THEN he tells her...Things have changed..Im seeing somebody else. she breaks down in the restaurant and we got to go. My point is...this week my ex was coming back into my life. he was being sweet and tentative. I love this man in my soul so I knew I had to be careful. I decided that i wanted to protect my happy so I went ahead and ASK HIM why was he talking to me again. Basically he said that he missed talking to me and seeing me but didnt say anything about getting back together so I told him I cant communicate with him anymore cause I cant do this. LOOK AT ALL THE PAIN AND ANGUISH AND DRAMA I SAVED MYSELF. LOOK AT IT!!! Lets be adults and keep it real....you cant be friends with someone you are very much in love with. The minute they say they are with someone or doesnt call you or something....you cant handle it...SO DONT DO IT I know with THIS guy, if he is not my man, then we cant be nothing. I cant handle anything more. Dont do it to yourself. Dont play yourself. Some people have the power to hurt you and if you want them back and they are not coming back..be the bigger person and keep them out your life.
Bateman Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 That's EXACTLY what I did. I started being friends with my ex but it was killing me, so I told her how I felt and simply went NC. I felt relieved after I had told her. It's been a rough ride for about a month but I do not feel the need to talk to her yet. I hope someday we can be friends but I seriously do not want to fall for her again and go through everything. So, you are totally right. The only way to move on is to have them out of your life and you out of their lives.
Author 9Lives Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 That's EXACTLY what I did. I started being friends with my ex but it was killing me, so I told her how I felt and simply went NC. I felt relieved after I had told her. It's been a rough ride for about a month but I do not feel the need to talk to her yet. I hope someday we can be friends but I seriously do not want to fall for her again and go through everything. So, you are totally right. The only way to move on is to have them out of your life and you out of their lives. Good for you. If someone is not on the same page as you..it spells conflict. It emotions are attached to it ...it spells pain and hurt. If you know you want more than a person is willing to give the best thing to do is let it go and do your own thing in your own life without their interfering. If you dont believe us...Go play! We will be here to wipe your tears
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 9, I'm glad you see you can't be friends with your ex. Not now. Not until the emotional attachment you feel for him is gone, the pain and the feelings for him. it's so hard to be around someone you want and can't have..Everything he does and says you're going to wonder and pick it apart, thinking what he means, is he dropping hints that he wants me again, is it more than friendship, etcetc.. And once the feelings are gone you may not even want friendship. What's the point? I'm so glad you see this! Hope everything else is going well in your life!
Author 9Lives Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 9, I'm glad you see you can't be friends with your ex. Not now. Not until the emotional attachment you feel for him is gone, the pain and the feelings for him. it's so hard to be around someone you want and can't have..Everything he does and says you're going to wonder and pick it apart, thinking what he means, is he dropping hints that he wants me again, is it more than friendship, etcetc.. And once the feelings are gone you may not even want friendship. What's the point? I'm so glad you see this! Hope everything else is going well in your life! Whichway!!!!! Hi, how are you doing?!?!?! I dont see you so much anymore. Im glad you responded. You know alot of history with this relationship. I had my "Big Girl" head on this time. It was the best thing I could have done. For some reason, I still have a feeling he is not completely gone but that is just in my head I guess. I had so much class with ending things with him when he was trying to creep in as a friend or whatever he was doing. We did sleep together. Im not mad about that. I feel like I pushed him back before he could get my head all jacked up like before. Good for me. Like I told him. I want to be happy and I cant do this. He said he was sorry and that he didnt want to hurt my feelings. Then we went separate ways. All email and texting at this point. I feel good about things but I still miss him and think of him.
feelinggood Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Hi 9Lives, I feel so jealous that you can do that without hesitation. I have been wanting to talk to him for soooooo long but I always ended up going home without talking. But everytime we meet up things were good. I asked him over the internet the other night indirectly if he likes me, he said yea i like you. And he will always text me and tell me everything that happened to him. It feels like we are back together but we didn't really talk about getting back together. I don't know what to do..
Author 9Lives Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Hi 9Lives, I feel so jealous that you can do that without hesitation. I have been wanting to talk to him for soooooo long but I always ended up going home without talking. But everytime we meet up things were good. I asked him over the internet the other night indirectly if he likes me, he said yea i like you. And he will always text me and tell me everything that happened to him. It feels like we are back together but we didn't really talk about getting back together. I don't know what to do.. Well what do you want? Do you want to get back together or not? How long were you together? I need more information about the relationship. I cant figure it out. What are you jealous about? We are no longer communicating. I just dont want to get hurt anymore and he is not saying he wants a relationship so I told him to keep it moving. I dont have time to waste on being broken hearted and sad anymore...yuck!!
feelinggood Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Well what do you want? Do you want to get back together or not? How long were you together? I need more information about the relationship. I cant figure it out. What are you jealous about? We are no longer communicating. I just dont want to get hurt anymore and he is not saying he wants a relationship so I told him to keep it moving. I dont have time to waste on being broken hearted and sad anymore...yuck!! We were together for 2.5 years and broke up last year in March. Half of the time we were on LDR. I didn't commit much in the relationship as I have curfews, but sometimes I did meet up with him despite all the scoldings I get from my mum. Anyway, we broke up and he went into a rebound straight away. Things got pretty bad back then but we still kept in touch. He initiated most of the conversations. They broke up soon after that and he has changed. I know it because he has focus on his career and future more than any other things. Now he's back and we meet up once in awhile. He bought me gifts and dinners but I never took the gifts because they are too expensive. Deep in my heart I still love him a lot and wanting to get back together. But I don't know if he'll like someone else when he's out in the working world. By the way, we were each other's first love and I initiated the break up. I'm jealous of your courage to bring things up as I couldn't do it despite it has been very long since we broke up. And yes, I wouldn't want myself to hurt so I have a huge shield covering myself which might be the reason why he doesn't say he wants to get back together..Anyway, good luck to you! I know you can do it because you are such a strong girl
aerogurl87 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 This is true, but then you have some situations (like what happened to my ex and I) were we both attempted to be friends and it just all backfired. First he got jealous of my (now ex) boyfriend and I got jealous of the girl he was dating at the time (although I didn't show it as much as he did). In the end we both agreed that being friends won't work and it's pretty much come to him wanting us to try again to see where things lead. Am I game? Yes. Scared? Hell yeah, but I'm happy we attempted to be friends. Had it not been for that neither one of us would've realised how much the other one still felt. So I guess being friends can work for some people, although it's usually rare. So NC is probably the way to stay if you know for a fact that you are still in love and your ex has moved on completely.
EmperorR Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 For most it can't if you still have feelings for them, my ex added me on facebook I ccepted all i saw was her out clubbing with a bunch of guys looking like a slut it hurt i deleted and blocked her and wont look back, what you don't know what you can't see can't hurt you. Maybe they are with someone else but you don't know.
Author 9Lives Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 For most it can't if you still have feelings for them, my ex added me on facebook I ccepted all i saw was her out clubbing with a bunch of guys looking like a slut it hurt i deleted and blocked her and wont look back, what you don't know what you can't see can't hurt you. Maybe they are with someone else but you don't know. Yeah Ignorance is blist!! I just had a friend who was fb friends with her ex. Out of nowhere he deleted her and she lost her mind. She was crying and all emotional. He got a annoyed and said, I got somebody else. I just think you need to stay away until you are over that person. Then you can be friends
EmperorR Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Yeah Ignorance is blist!! I just had a friend who was fb friends with her ex. Out of nowhere he deleted her and she lost her mind. She was crying and all emotional. He got a annoyed and said, I got somebody else. I just think you need to stay away until you are over that person. Then you can be friends Cosign and by then you will most likely not care to be friends with them.
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