AverageJoe Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Well, I am a guy who does online dating and who is doing decently at it. I'm not sure I agree with the advice given so far. The only point of your profile is to entice the guys you could be into to write you. It's NOT to paint a clear picture of who you are. You can only find that out via face-to-face interaction really. Keep that point in mind. Yes, the pictures are a good 80% of what makes a guy write. But the text is important too. You want to write the text so that it is easy for a guy to write you a good email back. Leave some questions for him to ask. Example: "I moved to NYC for my career, and even though it isn't my major, I love it." Well what exactly is your career? A smart guy who wants to write you will ask you that question. Meanwhile, the way you set up your thread, you are going to get a lot of unfocused advice that might or might not help you. Why don't you post the text in your profile? Are you telling me that a pomeranian dog poking out of a pocket book doesn't do it for you? But...it's unconditional love lavished with tiny trinkets of heartfelt passion and doggy breath.
Imajerk17 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Pictures, about them.... --Put a few pictures that show that you are pretty and have a nice figure. You DON'T need to show a lot of skin, the goal isn't to give creeps material to jerk off with, it is instead to show that you are pretty. Most women have 5 headshots in their profile, which is really to a guy the same picture 5 times. We don't get that you're wearing a different outfit in each one. --A couple pictures of you with female friends is good, as long as there isn't any one of them who is upstaging you either because she is much prettier or is showing a lot more skin. --If you have the above, pictures of pets are fine, just don't overdo it. --AVOID pictures of you getting "too" chummy with other guys. WTF do so many women post these type of shots? What are they trying to accomplish?
Imajerk17 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Are you telling me that a pomeranian dog poking out of a pocket book doesn't do it for you? But...it's unconditional love lavished with tiny trinkets of heartfelt passion and doggy breath. Tells me that she could be a high-maintenance diva. Run!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I first started dying my hair when I was 19. I started off with an auburn color which unexpectedly turned me into a redhead. I disliked it so much, I had to speeddial my hairstylist. Over the years, my hair has grown from a pixie bob to what it is today, and I'd went from a dark haired Asian to a brunette, to a current blonde. People who've known me for years tend to be slightly taken aback by my audacious choices, even I, tend to surprise myself ( I do think it's the stereotype of me being Asian). If my hair is any indication it shouldn't come as surprising that I also like piercings. And no, I don't mean the tacky ones where you get your entire face punctured with holes. I like getting ear piercings and coordinating myself with various earring decor. Self-description- I like to say I'm feisty and sometime even a bit brash. I'm very open minded, not particularly straight- forward, but still opinionated all the same. Also I find it weird that I've come to like the colors pink and blue. This coming from a girl who used to wear black all the time. Strange. I'm passionate about fashion and writing. I'm a fan of big words and glossy magazines. What I look for in a guy- it's an innate human trait to be ( somewhat) superficial, so if I offend people, I'm not sorry. It's true what they say, looks can help you get through the door, but it also takes great personality to keep you from getting kicked out. I have a perverse fetish for pretty boys- a pair of gorgeous eyes and gorgeous lips can send my pulse racing. However, I also look for a person's moral and ethical principles. Integrity, values, goals, etc the whole package. It's not enough to look the part, it's important to be the part. My parents recently bought me a Maltese- he has gorgeous fur and although he tends to be too overly hyper at times, I can say he has grown on me. I named him Casanova. Here's a full excerpt of my About me.... Feel free to critcize. I know I'm doing something wrong here.
LittleTiger Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Imajerk, the point of my original post was to explain that there is no perfect profile to attract ALL guys. It's impossible to give anyone advice on what to put in their online profile unless you know them pretty intimately and they know exactly what they're looking for. There is no 'catch all' formula. I deliberately didn't post a pic in my profile because I wanted a guy who valued other qualities above looks - someone who was different from the millions of guys out there who contact a woman online just because she looks pretty or 'hot' - not my type of man. Your idea is to basically chuck out some generic bait and hope someone bites. That's a good idea if you're not selective, but don't forget that women on dating sites can get literally thousands of replies so, for a woman, the trick is to lay the right bait - and she can only do that if she knows what she's fishing for. Even without a close-up photo of my face or body I had so many guys contacting me that I struggled to respond to them all......and they were all more interested in who I was on the inside than what I looked like on the outside. Of course I also still got contacted by jerks who's level of intelligence amounted to an email saying 'lets see a photo then'. At least I didn't have to waste time replying to them. You can paint a clear picture of who you are online and you don't need face to face contact to determine if someone is special, especially if you're completely honest - my guy was 12,000 miles away but he still managed to make every other guy disappear from my radar pretty quickly and he turned out to be exactly as I'd imagined when we met - and vice versa. AverageJoe, I know your post was meant to be tongue in cheek and that is how I took it, but it was a great example of one end of the spectrum on 'how to do it'.......and the wonderful man I am now in a relationship with was actually attracted by what I said about my animals and my love of the environment so some men do care about that stuff.
LittleTiger Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Here's a full excerpt of my About me.... Feel free to critcize. I know I'm doing something wrong here. What exactly are you looking for in a guy besides someone with a pretty face and good morals? There are millions of guys like that - and what do you really mean by good morals? What kind of guy do you want - athletic, artistic, creative, sporty, scientific, logical, emotional, romantic, alpha male etc etc. What is it that he likes to do and what sort of woman is he looking for? Once you've decided that, then you write your profile to highlight the qualities in you that will attract the kind of guy you want. To criticise your current profile (as requested): 1. Unless your hair colour is an intrinsic part of you and your personality, nobody will be interested. If it is an important part of you that you want to talk about, then say why. What do the different changes in your hair say about you? 2. You've described yourself as strange, brash, not straight-forward and opinionated - would that description attract you to someone? How about - although you have a complex character, you're a strong, bold woman who's not afraid to speak her mind? Even give an example of something in your life that illustrates this and that's interesting to read. 3. What is it that you love about words? You enjoy writing, so express your love for words in words. 4. I'm not sure any man is going to be interested in whether or not you like glossy magazines - unless you have a good reason for mentioning it. Is it the articles that interest you or is it because you love glamour and dressing up etc. A guy will take far more notice if you say 'I love to dress up sexily and go out every weekend with my girlfriends to paint the town red' than 'I like glossy magazines'. 5. If you want a guy to 'be the part' then you need to tell him what 'the part' is. You're very vague about what you're looking for. 6. From another thread of yours I got the impression that the dog is of little importance to you and although he's 'growing on you' he's not exactly 'the love of your life'. So how about telling people what is 'the love of your life'? What are you passionate about? What and who in your life couldn't you live without and why? JMO of course.
january2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) Heavily edited but here's my quickie attempt: I've had auburn hair, dark Asian hair and brunette hair. Now I'm having fun as a blonde. I also like ear piercings and wearing different kinds of ear jewellery. Favourite colours: pink, blue and black. I'm feisty, open-minded and adventurous. I'm passionate about fashion. I love words and writing. A pair of gorgeous eyes and gorgeous lips can send my pulse racing. However, I also value integrity, strong values and goals. It's not enough to look the part, it's important to be the part. I own a Maltese with gorgeous fur called Casanova. Edited February 28, 2011 by january2011
GivenUp0083 Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) I would be willing to edit your profile or at least "review" it. I've read a lot of online profiles and I can tell you what will at least help you in the long run. The two most important things I can tell you about writing a profile are these: 1. Stay positive. Don't say who you DONT want to email you, don't talk about what you DONT want, just state briefly what you're looking for. Be honest. Don't talk about ex-bf's or past negative experiences. People are attractive to positivity, this goes down to the subconsious level. Make your profile seem nice and friendly, no one wants to date a bitch. 2. Try to be a little more specific about who you are and what you like, try to share a little bit that makes you unique. Instead of just stating you like sports, say what sports...example: Don't say: Hi, my name is xxxxx I really enjoy sports and outdoor activities Say: Hi, my name is xxxx, I'm really into sports, I play on a softball team in the summer with friends from work, I recently joined a group that goes kayaking 3 times a year and I took a trip to alaska where we hiked trails and camped out. This will give people more ways to spark up a conversation with you, find common interests, build up their intrigue as to who you are. Instead of me sending you an email that says "oh cool you like sports, what do you like?"....I could say "hey, I've been to alaska too! what part did you hike? I was just outside of anchorage last spring..." See how that works? It also will help you sound more genuine as a person, not someone who just threw up quick profile and is relying on pics or other people to do all the work. Guys want to think that you're a genuine person and they like it when the girl does a little bit of the effort as well. Guys know that if girls like them, they help them. Edited February 28, 2011 by GivenUp0083
Nexus One Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 The part about the hair is so not interesting to guys. It reads like "blablablablabla". At the very most cram a sentence in there that you change your hair color often and like to experiment with it. But starting off with the hair part would have made me surf away after the first paragraph, it's too superficial and guys are sooooo NOT interested in that kind of talk. The superficial part of online dating can already be obtained from looking at profile pictures. If you want to torture a man, put him in a cell and make him listen to a perpetual audio-clip of women talking about hair. Then give him a rope to hang himself and he'll use it, to make it stop.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I'm aware I'm more sarcastic online than I am in person. If anything, thanks guys, for the suggestions. I'm not in a hurry to date, just looking at what's out there and easing into things. I will give my profile a good revamp when I get around to it.
Kamille Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I feel your profile is more geared towards women then it is to men. You're talking as if you're trying to recruit a best girl friend, with whom you'll spend countless afternoons browsing at magazines and discussing hair color. What do you want to do with these people you plan to meet through this website. You know, say you meet someone, things work out and you become involved, what would you do on a casual saturday afternoon?
utterer of lies Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I'll attempt to translate it into 'man'. Here is what I get from the profile text: I first started dying my hair when I was 19. I started off with an auburn color which unexpectedly turned me into a redhead. I disliked it so much, I had to speeddial my hairstylist. Over the years, my hair has grown from a pixie bob to what it is today, and I'd went from a dark haired Asian to a brunette, to a current blonde. People who've known me for years tend to be slightly taken aback by my audacious choices, even I, tend to surprise myself ( I do think it's the stereotype of me being Asian). Blahblahblah asian. If my hair is any indication it shouldn't come as surprising that I also like piercings. And no, I don't mean the tacky ones where you get your entire face punctured with holes. I like getting ear piercings and coordinating myself with various earring decor. blah oh piercings but ...only earrings. If this were on a real dating site, I would have stopped reading here (if not earlier). Self-description- I like to say I'm feisty and sometime even a bit brash. I'm very open minded, not particularly straight- forward, but still opinionated all the same. You're brash but not straight forward. ....The association that comes to mind is 'lying bºtch'. Also I find it weird that I've come to like the colors pink and blue. This coming from a girl who used to wear black all the time. Strange. Oh, boring. And emo. I'm passionate about fashion and writing. I'm a fan of big words and glossy magazines. What a surprise. You like fashion mags. Wow. I learned something today. What I look for in a guy- it's an innate human trait to be ( somewhat) superficial, so if I offend people, I'm not sorry. It's true what they say, looks can help you get through the door, but it also takes great personality to keep you from getting kicked out. I have a perverse fetish for pretty boys- a pair of gorgeous eyes and gorgeous lips can send my pulse racing. However, I also look for a person's moral and ethical principles. Integrity, values, goals, etc the whole package. It's not enough to look the part, it's important to be the part. Blablabla superficial but conflicted about it. Blabla default values clause. My parents recently bought me a Maltese- he has gorgeous fur and although he tends to be too overly hyper at times, I can say he has grown on me. I named him Casanova. So you have a cat. I still don't know who you are or why I should be interested. Your pics better be very good.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I feel your profile is more geared towards women then it is to men. You're talking as if you're trying to recruit a best girl friend, with whom you'll spend countless afternoons browsing at magazines and discussing hair color. What do you want to do with these people you plan to meet through this website. You know, say you meet someone, things work out and you become involved, what would you do on a casual saturday afternoon? I didn't really thought ahead. I'd only created the profile last week and I'm still tweaking it so meeting anyone in person right now isn't a top priority. I've been through online dating, but I am very strict on who meets my requirements. The last time I was on OKC, I only met one guy in person and we didn't quite click as much as I wanted. He was great on paper, but not I wasn't keen on him in person. I'm a correspondance kind of girl. I tend to connect more with people after a few emails and phone calls. Then when we're both ready, we'll meet for that first date and see if we click.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 I'll attempt to translate it into 'man'. Here is what I get from the profile text: Blahblahblah asian. blah oh piercings but ...only earrings. If this were on a real dating site, I would have stopped reading here (if not earlier). You're brash but not straight forward. ....The association that comes to mind is 'lying bºtch'. Oh, boring. And emo. What a surprise. You like fashion mags. Wow. I learned something today. Blablabla superficial but conflicted about it. Blabla default values clause. So you have a cat. I still don't know who you are or why I should be interested. Your pics better be very good. :lmao: Okay, okay, I get it. Massive revamp in the near future.
Kamille Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 I didn't really thought ahead. I'd only created the profile last week and I'm still tweaking it so meeting anyone in person right now isn't a top priority. I've been through online dating, but I am very strict on who meets my requirements. The last time I was on OKC, I only met one guy in person and we didn't quite click as much as I wanted. He was great on paper, but not I wasn't keen on him in person. I'm a correspondance kind of girl. I tend to connect more with people after a few emails and phone calls. Then when we're both ready, we'll meet for that first date and see if we click. I meant more: not suggest date, but think about the kind of connection you want to establish. Who's your public? From your profile, it sounds like you're looking for a bff, not a guy. So I'm just trying to get you to reflect about the things you like doing that a guy might also enjoy.
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