purple_cloud Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I went on a couple of dates with a guy recently. He is incredibly smart and knowledgeable. We had the third date set up but I ended up canceling. He likes to discuss politics, taxes, US budget etc. My knowledge of those things is pretty much nil. I nod my head at the right moments and use filler phrases like "That's quite interesting". He intimidates me and it's only a matter of time before he catches on that I don't understand anything. I think that he will get bored of me soon, so better to pull out now. Other than that, I find him really attractive. Any advice?
Alma Mobley Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 He's not necessarily smarter than you, just more knowledgeable. You can correct that, you know, by keeping up with current events, reading the newspaper, etc. If you aren't interested in those things, you might have incompatible interests. Maybe he'd be good for a short-term thing, I don't know. Depends on how he and you feel about it. I would have a hard time being with someone long-term where we didn't have much to talk about.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I went on a couple of dates with a guy recently. He is incredibly smart and knowledgeable. We had the third date set up but I ended up canceling. He likes to discuss politics, taxes, US budget etc. My knowledge of those things is pretty much nil. I nod my head at the right moments and use filler phrases like "That's quite interesting". He intimidates me and it's only a matter of time before he catches on that I don't understand anything. I think that he will get bored of me soon, so better to pull out now. Other than that, I find him really attractive. Any advice? What did you do on the first two dates? And what were you supposed to do on the third date? The reason I ask this is that sitting and talking (while important) are only one part of what makes a relationship. So you should be having dates doing more than just talking. Anyway, no matter how smart he is he can't know everything, so find something to talk about that he is interested in and you are knowledgeable about.
Nexus One Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) Just be yourself, that's what got him to go on 3 dates with you in the first place. Just to understand him a bit though look at the US federal government budget for 2010: http://tinyurl.com/68exayt You see that 700 billion USD in 2010 went to the military, for 2011 that's 900 billion USD. You also see that 700 billion in interest goes to the privately owned federal reserve. (via bonds) So in short most taxes flow to the people behind the military industrial complex and to the people that own the central and commercial banks. (the bond holders) However if you disagree with mass murder and theft, like most people do, then you can't opt out of paying taxes, because the IRS will raid your house with militarized police. That's why many people are angry about the budget and paying taxes and politics in general. Because most politicians are simply puppets hired to continue the flow of your taxes to specific people who own large corporations like the Federal Reserve, commercial banks and weapon factories. War is profit. This video pretty much sums it up: http://tinyurl.com/4bf89nq Edited February 26, 2011 by Nexus One
Mrlonelyone Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I take it that he does not seem to be trying to show off. He just opens his mouth and talks about what interest him. Try changing the subject to something you want to talk about and know about. Or schedule a third date that contains an activity...go you and do something you both enjoy. Smart people need love too and I'm sure he just enjoys spending his time with you.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I went on a couple of dates with a guy recently. He is incredibly smart and knowledgeable. We had the third date set up but I ended up canceling. He likes to discuss politics, taxes, US budget etc. My knowledge of those things is pretty much nil. I nod my head at the right moments and use filler phrases like "That's quite interesting". He intimidates me and it's only a matter of time before he catches on that I don't understand anything. I think that he will get bored of me soon, so better to pull out now. Other than that, I find him really attractive. Any advice? Or you could solve the issue by reading. Knowledge isn't something to be feared, he might push you to be smarter. Or maybe he is the kind of guy that LOVES teaching.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Fire and others who read this. The more I live the more I am convinced that met fan is right. Various studies have showed that people date assortatively. We sort ourselves by class, race, income, and possibly even education and raw inteligence. The truth is being really smart...and educated... with the practical knowledge to put it to good use... is very rare. It intimidates the hell out of people. Trust me I have seen how a persons whole demeanor changes when I tell them what I do for a living. Am I just bitter? I would say not... since someone created dating sites like. http://www.iqcuties.com/ "Welcome to the social gathering place for people who are interested in conversing, making friends, exchanging ideas, and dating people with an above average IQ." http://www.sciconnect.com/ "to Science Connection, the meeting place for single science professionals and others with an interest in science or nature." http://scientificsingles.com/ The list goes on. So yes IQ and learning are things that people use to weed out potential mates. So purple_cloud if you want to find someone who's more of a normal average level and drop the smart guy go on ahead.
runner Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I went on a couple of dates with a guy recently. He is incredibly smart and knowledgeable. We had the third date set up but I ended up canceling. He likes to discuss politics, taxes, US budget etc. My knowledge of those things is pretty much nil. I nod my head at the right moments and use filler phrases like "That's quite interesting". He intimidates me and it's only a matter of time before he catches on that I don't understand anything. I think that he will get bored of me soon, so better to pull out now. Other than that, I find him really attractive. Any advice? yea- pat yourself on the back for cancelling. firstly he sounds like a horrible, boring date with his choice in topics to discuss (but that's just me). and perhaps you're just attracted to his "intelligence" so to speak- great, lovely, whatever. if he's intimidating you and not making you feel comfortable around him, then what's the point in proceeding with it ?
ivalm Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 yea- pat yourself on the back for cancelling. firstly he sounds like a horrible, boring date with his choice in topics to discuss (but that's just me). and perhaps you're just attracted to his "intelligence" so to speak- great, lovely, whatever. if he's intimidating you and not making you feel comfortable around him, then what's the point in proceeding with it ? While I am well versed in politics/etc I have to admit the topics are quite un-datelike. It's something I could talk to with my friends, but not during a date; especially early dates. I think if OP is interested in the man, she should give him another try but attempt to steer conversation in what interests her. Also, physical dates (ie, go skating/biking/whatever) may be a good way to form bonds without accentuating the difference in interest. At any rate, I DO think knowing SOME politics/economics is important as this will allow you to,at the very least, make more informed decisions in voting/support of campaigns.
youaretheone Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Guys like to talk and brag about what they know but sometimes, it becomes boring and also, there are topics that should not be discussed on a date like politics, religion, etc. Try talking about more emotional topics and see how he responds. If he keeps changing the subject to his own interest, I would move on.
Knittress Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 He sounds more pretentious than intelligent, really. Folks with actual brains are capable of finding something discussion-worthy in just about any topic. He seems more interested in talking at you than talking with you. Gross.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 He sounds more pretentious than intelligent, really. Folks with actual brains are capable of finding something discussion-worthy in just about any topic. He seems more interested in talking at you than talking with you. Gross. Well he could have just brought up issues that were of interest to him. You know to try and start conversation. She could have changed the subject. She could take some measure of responsibility for the conversation.
K.K. Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) yea- pat yourself on the back for cancelling. firstly he sounds like a horrible, boring date with his choice in topics to discuss (but that's just me). and perhaps you're just attracted to his "intelligence" so to speak- great, lovely, whatever. if he's intimidating you and not making you feel comfortable around him, then what's the point in proceeding with it ? Exactly! OMG I would be bored to tears and feel like I just fell off the turnip truck. Edited February 26, 2011 by K.K. ..
Pyro Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 girls want jerks does that mean you want a nice guy?
sally4sara Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Having people in your life with more knowledge than you is necessary for you to become more knowledgeable. Your teachers had more knowledge and they shared their knowledge making you become more knowledgeable. There is no shame is not knowing something if you're not too embarrassed or afraid to say "I don't know this; tell me more". Dating this guy will benefit you more than giving up and finding someone who only knows things you already know.
runner Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 He sounds more pretentious than intelligent, really. Folks with actual brains are capable of finding something discussion-worthy in just about any topic. He seems more interested in talking at you than talking with you. Gross. exactly. hence my scare-quotes around the word "intelligence". just cos i've spent months studying victorian history doesn't mean i'm gonna start discussing john stuart mill on my dates even if she inisisted just so she could listen to my accent, i would still want to change the topic.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Having people in your life with more knowledge than you is necessary for you to become more knowledgeable. Your teachers had more knowledge and they shared their knowledge making you become more knowledgeable. There is no shame is not knowing something if you're not too embarrassed or afraid to say "I don't know this; tell me more". Dating this guy will benefit you more than giving up and finding someone who only knows things you already know. I second this, if theres something hes talking about that you dont understand, ask him to explain it. If he really wants you to understand, he will enjoy teaching you. if he doesnt, then you might want to move on. No point in listening to him talk if he doesnt want you to join in the discussion.
Recommended Posts