Kristie16 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 So, my ex boyfriend told me from the start that he always remained friendly with exes. I thought this was a little weird, but I pushed it aside. I think it's fine if you're cordial (ie post on Facebook if it's their birthday. Chitchat if you run into them, etc.), but why would you want to stay in contact with EVERY girl you ever dated, especially the ones who dumped you? I'm now thinking it was a major red flag. After I broke up with him, he said to contact him when I was ready to be friends. I know I needed no contact -- broke that after three days with a text, which said I should feel free to call or text him whenever I want. I guess it just surprises me how he is able to go so quickly from relationship to friends territory. Shouldn't he need a grieving period? And this is how he always is. He can so quickly turn the feelings off and on and off. Or maybe he just never truly turns the emotional feelings on? I know some people break up and do remain good friends, but there has to be a period of separation, I would think. Why would you want to always stay friends with someone, especially if they dumped you? I feel like that says a lot about his self-esteem, or am I being wrong here?
alabasterlamp Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I never understood the whole "Friends with Ex's" thing either. My brother says that he's friends with all his ex's and one reason is because it's mutual like " Hey you're a really great person but we just don't click that way ". My personal thoughts are they are called "Ex's" for a reason. How can you give so much of yourself and not be hurt???? I kinda am wondering if the other person was pushing you away or already has other plans. According to my brother the other person could be just really positive and happy. Sounds fishy to me.... :/
Anna86 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Hey, my ex is similar to your ex. He remains friends with his exes. I don't understand it. I think if I really loved somebody I would find it hard to see them move on with other people! I know I don't want to be friends with my ex, I can't! He hurt me too much. I didn't hurt him so he wants to be friends with me...... I thought it was nice that my ex BF remained friends with his exes, now I don' think its cool. It just shows that he can switch off his emotions easily. I had such strong emotions for my ex that I would find it hard to be friends. I wish he felt the same about me!!
Author Kristie16 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I just don't understand how he can so easily go from bf/gf one day to friends the next. Down the line, yes, but how can he turn it on and off so fast? And even down the line, when i say friendship, I mean more like acquaintances. I think some people do end up good friends -- you have a lot in common but for some reason, you just don't mesh in a romantic relationship. But I don't think it should be like that with all exes. I think more often that not, one side wants more, otherwise you wouldn't have been together in the first place and you would have just been friends from the get go.
Trovador Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 In a sense, it's because we are kinda of special, if we were obnoxious or common or weird guys nothing in the world would make them to persue our friendship... "Taking the best of this situations" was how my ex called it... until I got tired of this sided friendship (after all, it's not a normal friendship, it's always on the other's terms) and went NC... I guess I am really special because she always contacts me and asks me to be her friend...
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