2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Hi First of I am in my 30s, tall relatively good looking, good job, decent lively person, everyone likes me and got a lot of friends etc etc and most women can't understand how I am still single and no kids etc (Why the **** don't they ask me out then lol?), just recently I met a girl quite compatible well so I thought and we got on great, we were going slow, she was similar to me, not that many dates etc and we were building up a good RL then she flaked out and it all ended and since December (our BU) I have been reeling (means fraught with tenseness/anger/resentment) inside and for some reason I can't get rid of it. Ok I feel that I can get on with life now but people I know can see I have really changed and I know they know. And I feel like I am going to be like this for quite some time until at least the end of the year and maybe beyond. I really thought that this was working out and I read so many stories similar to mine on here that ended in disaster and literally months if not years of recovery. Now my point is is all this BS RL crap worth it really, ok before I never really had a GF and ok I did want one but now I have done this I feel ten times worse than I did when I hadn't dated in years. Why do we go after these opportunities then end up resenting it and hurting for a long time ahead. Is it realy worth it all? Maybe going back to being single for ever is the life eh, do you ever think that? Why risk all this pain again and again I always think? 2011
flow15 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) I've started to think like this and it is starting to scare me. I'm only in my early twenties but I've just come out of a relationship where I was absolutely heartbroken. It's just got me thinking, what is the point of relationships? You're with someone for a couple of years you're in love with them, and then bam your heart gets broken. You're depressed for a while, get over them, then find someone new, fall in love and then get your heart broken all over again....... that's how I see it anyway. But I don't know if I'm being totally negative because I'm currently hurting from my heart break. But I just think, I'm only in my early twenties but having my heartbroken has put me off wanting to be in a relationship. I'm too young to get married so what is the point in getting into a relationship now if this person isn't going to be the one I'm going to be with forever and I'm just going to get my heartbroken in a couple of years. I know the alternative to this is to just date casually, but most of the time you end up falling for someone and it leads to a relationship. And I don't see the point in dating if its not going to lead to a relationship, plus I can't sleep with someone who I'm not in a relationship with anyway because I need to be in love with the person or at least have some sort of emotional attachment. So what do i do?!? Sorry I know I'm just rambling, but this is what I think now... Edited February 26, 2011 by flow15
kaygato Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I'm starting to feel cynical as well, but I think it's mostly because of how heartbroken I am. I'm sure it'll get better for me. I just hope my ex knows for sure he doesn't want me, because if he ever did change his mind I don't know if I could ever really forgive him. I have so much resentment in my heart and I hate it, but that is life I guess. I know what you mean Flow about not wanting to date because you're too young to get married. I don't want to have to feel like this again. Whenever I'm ready to date again...I'm really hoping it turns into something real and lasting. I can't understand serial daters...do they just not get too attached to anybody? I'm definitely a relationship person.
Author 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 Scary thing is am in my 30s, all my cousins are long married with kids, good few of mates and mates of mates too are all gone this way, and tbh I kina wish I had too but I haven't and everyone cannot understand it, think people think I'm gay or something lol! Just cant settle down, maybe it's not for me but then why was I always seeking a GF, was it just kina jealousy over everyone else and now I am paying for that indecision? I always wonder the what if's and just wish sometimes I could settle down but can't seem to meet the right person. The girl I had the BU with with the first person I had met that I felt content with, she seemed the same but then pulled the plug, now what do I wait another 15 years to find ms right when I'm grey and haggered? If i'm honest it does suck. 2011
flow15 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I don't think marriage has to be for everyone, I have family members who are 10/20 years older than you who never got married or had kids and probably never will. So don't feel bad, or worry about what others think. Technically you are still young I have an uncle who at 52 is getting married! I don't think you can ever be too old, especially men! If you really do want to settle down and get married though, I'm sure the right woman will come along just don't give up hope! I hear of so many people finding love at older ages And, kaygato.. maybe we have to serial date in order to find 'the one' who won't hurt us or treat us like crap!
LostMyHeart Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I feel the same way, just coming out of a huge heartbreak. I think it was the first time I had opened my heart in years after my divorce. The thought of even dating is a complete turnoff to me. The thought of getting to know someone new while I still love the person that's gone...just too hard to fathom for awhile. It takes time to heal that hurt.
Author 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 i feel like i've set myself back even more than I was before, thing is I had no RL in my past really so just hoped but the pain of not having any RL wasn't that bad now that I think of it I am devastated and feel much much morse than before. TBH I wish I could go back to the day I met her and walk away, maybe by now i'd still be realtively happy, which when I think on it I was, but not now it sucks like ****! 2011
Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I feel completely the same way. I'm in my early twenties and my cousins have already found someone and had kids by my age. Meanwhile I'm struggling to find someone who wants more than a fling. I'm a good gf and would never cheat, yet my ex dumped me out of the blue and insulted me by text. I just don't get it. I can't jump from person to person like my ex and never get attached to someone. It seems utterly pointless to me. How do people marry young and have kids?
Woggle Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I used to think like you guys and yet I found somebody incredible. I am sure the same can happen for you.
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